I'm about to become a morsel in the banquet of love! - Page 3

Undertoad · 01-13-2011, 11:20 AM

Sammy I never ask for this but did you like my post too? Here I am acting all insecure. It's off "Baja California" which is why I thought it was clever. That song "Over the Border (Down Mexico Way)" wouldn't have been one of your shared songs though. Oh I'll be all butthurt if you don't think it was clever.

monster · 01-13-2011, 12:38 PM

Sam, don't forget you use the term "blood libel" when somebody does away with this loser and everyone blames you.....

Undertoad · 01-13-2011, 12:50 PM

I feel good now Sammy, thank you! (But no use brown-nosing me, as I have no power or goods to offer in return. If I did, I would disperse them equally amongst all the brown-nosers, er, Dwellars I like.)

The song always gave me a double take. Whoa, Chris Isaak did a one-nighter with that chick and she became a nun! He actually ruined her for all other men! I think I listened to the original once and it seemed just a horribly sexist thing in the original context.

SamIam · 01-20-2011, 10:32 PM

Update (warning, rant follows)

OK, this is not going to turn out well. I am rapidly attaining the status of main dish even though I keep turning down the dinner invitations.

I won't pick up the phone when the caller ID shows that it's Glen. He retaliates by leaving long messages on my voice mail. He tells me that I "am loved," and reads me stuff he has written, including poetry (he IS a very good writer). He expresses concern for me and tells me funny stories about his day.

After listening to a few of these voice mails, I am softened up enough to finally answer when he calls. He expresses delight to finally speak with me at last, recalls the good times we shared together in the old days, is witty and self deprecating and very sexy in an understated way. The telephone lines from Arizona to Colorado must be fairly sizzling when we talk.

He has even enlisted his family in the cause. I have spoken with his sister on the phone and on FaceBook. She comes off as a very nice person. Glen 's youngest son also chats with me from time. I am still fond of that kid!

Yes, I know that I should get an unlisted number, change my e-mail, and not go NEAR FaceBook for at least the next 20 years. I should distract myself with cleaning the kitty litter box, thinking uplifting thoughts and even seeking out silver foxes on an Internet dating site - they may all be scoundrels, but at least they haven't PROVED it to me yet. Or maybe I could start sending sultry PM's to Urbane Guerilla.

I could write a self help book titled "Women who by LAW should be prevented from relationships - the true story of SamIam's amazing romantic misadventures."

So Glen's plan is to go visit his son's family back in our old home town, then come to Cortez to finish me off. I don't understand why he is putting all this energy into my demise. Up to now I was minding my own business and not hurting anybody - OK, I did send a few sarcastic replies to would-be online silver foxes, but that was it.

I have one question. I'd like to ask Glen to re-arrange his schedule and come see me before he goes to visit his son. Why drag this thing out? He is quite capable of carrying out in less than a week whatever diabolical plan he has in mind. I, of course, will spend the next year or two recovering. But I want to get this entire sordid affair over with and go on with my so-called life as soon as possible. Why stretch things out? Strike when the iron is hot and all that.

Do you think he would agree to this? Or would he just get mad and vanish again, only to reappear when we're both 70?

Sincerely,
Sleepless in Cortez

morethanpretty · 01-21-2011, 10:55 AM

Tell him you've gone lesbo and your SO is not happy with the situation.... Worked 1x with me and a guy who wouldn't take a hint.

Honestly I don't think it'll be good for you to meet up with him again, but its your choice to make. If he *really* wants to see you all that bad, he'll rearrange. If he doesn't and decides to blow you off again, well that's probably best anyway.

Sundae · 01-21-2011, 11:26 AM

Sam - it's the thrill of the chase.
My Evil Ex used to reel me back in every time with this sort of attention. And after a while (the timescale went from months, to weeks, to days, to hours) he'd have what he wanted and switch it all off again. Or generally transfer it to another woman. In fact towards the end he didn't even wait until I'd left his flat before starting gooey conversations with "just a friend".

I don't think he will change his plans if you're softening. He'll find it more useful to talk you round. If you are capable of issuing an ultimatum and sticking to it you might get rid of him sooner rather than later. But don't expect him to take no for an answer. He'll more likely let you stew for a few days then phone up pretending the two of you were still on for meeting after he had seen his son all along.

I could be way off beam, but his behaviour just sounds so distressingly familiar to me.

Shawnee123 · 01-21-2011, 11:27 AM

He's got your number, in more ways than one.

Playah, or so it seems to me.

Pico and ME · 01-21-2011, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

He's got your number, in more ways than one.

Playah, or so it seems to me.

Thats my thought, too

Sam, you seem to be enjoying this....you might as well be the one calling all the shots. You tell him what to do and when to do it. If he doesn't follow through, no loss right?

Lamplighter · 01-21-2011, 12:34 PM

Seems there's a bit of "Come-hither, Get-thee-away" working in both directions here.

Undertoad · 01-21-2011, 12:52 PM

Thrill of the chase, and the first thing that occurred to me is how the brain works on remembering your past. Remembers the good bits, and cherishes them; forgets the bad bits because who wants to dwell on that?

And so maybe he remembers the good bits, and forgets why it didn't really work at the time.

Wow sometimes i think how great it would be to go back to my college days. Good times! All the terrible bouts of depression and anxiety and desperation and confusion... I'm sure that wouldn't happen if I was young again and had another crack at it!

glatt · 01-21-2011, 01:22 PM

I have this great memory of the semester I spent abroad in Germany in college. I mean, it was honestly the best evar.

Last night, I was flipping through my journal from that time. And first of all, I had plenty of time to fill a journal then, so what does that say? And second, on most days my only entry was something like "skipped class today. Was bored, so I went for a really long walk."

Now I have pictures from then, and they show me having a good time, and I have lots of memories where I had a good time, But I'd completely forgotten all those times when I was bored and lonely and walking for miles with no particular destination.

Griff · 01-21-2011, 04:08 PM

That is what this "relationship" is a long walk with no destination. If I understand this correctly (he dumped you and the child?), it is a terrible game for a child to have to watch. No way should a kid be put through that kind of bullshit.

Clodfobble · 01-21-2011, 10:33 PM

Hang on, back up.

He had a daughter, whom he abandoned along with you. He also has a son? Where does this second kid fit into the timeline?

SamIam · 01-21-2011, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Hang on, back up.

He had a daughter, whom he abandoned along with you. He also has a son? Where does this second kid fit into the timeline?

Both kids lived with us, but Jed, the younger son, kind of did his own thing and wasn't around so much. Jed is definately the favorite child. When Glen split, he tried to take Jed with him, but the Mom threatened to charge Glen with kidnapping if he took Jed across state lines, so Jed came back. (Yes, there was plenty of high drama)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pico and ME

Sam, you seem to be enjoying this....you might as well be the one calling all the shots. You tell him what to do and when to do it. If he doesn't follow through, no loss right?

It has it moments, I'll certainly grant you that, and I have to joke about it - the whole thing is just so bizarre.

But it is also very upsetting and I haven't even told half the story - it would take forever to explain it all. I can't understand why I still feel so vulnerable to this man. Its dysfunctional to the max.

I know I'll work thru it eventually. I appreciate you guys letting me vent about it!

footfootfoot · 01-22-2011, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Hang on, back up.

Back up? How about put the car in PARK?

01-13-2011, 12:38 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Sam, don't forget you use the term "blood libel" when somebody does away with this loser and everyone blames you..... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-21-2011, 10:55 AM	#5
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	Tell him you've gone lesbo and your SO is not happy with the situation.... Worked 1x with me and a guy who wouldn't take a hint. Honestly I don't think it'll be good for you to meet up with him again, but its your choice to make. If he really wants to see you all that bad, he'll rearrange. If he doesn't and decides to blow you off again, well that's probably best anyway. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

01-21-2011, 11:26 AM	#6
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Sam - it's the thrill of the chase. My Evil Ex used to reel me back in every time with this sort of attention. And after a while (the timescale went from months, to weeks, to days, to hours) he'd have what he wanted and switch it all off again. Or generally transfer it to another woman. In fact towards the end he didn't even wait until I'd left his flat before starting gooey conversations with "just a friend". I don't think he will change his plans if you're softening. He'll find it more useful to talk you round. If you are capable of issuing an ultimatum and sticking to it you might get rid of him sooner rather than later. But don't expect him to take no for an answer. He'll more likely let you stew for a few days then phone up pretending the two of you were still on for meeting after he had seen his son all along. I could be way off beam, but his behaviour just sounds so distressingly familiar to me. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

01-21-2011, 11:27 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	He's got your number, in more ways than one. Playah, or so it seems to me. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

01-21-2011, 04:08 PM	#12
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	That is what this "relationship" is a long walk with no destination. If I understand this correctly (he dumped you and the child?), it is a terrible game for a child to have to watch. No way should a kid be put through that kind of bullshit. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

01-13-2011, 11:20 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Sammy I never ask for this but did you like my post too? Here I am acting all insecure. It's off "Baja California" which is why I thought it was clever. That song "Over the Border (Down Mexico Way)" wouldn't have been one of your shared songs though. Oh I'll be all butthurt if you don't think it was clever.

01-13-2011, 12:50 PM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I feel good now Sammy, thank you! (But no use brown-nosing me, as I have no power or goods to offer in return. If I did, I would disperse them equally amongst all the brown-nosers, er, Dwellars I like.) The song always gave me a double take. Whoa, Chris Isaak did a one-nighter with that chick and she became a nun! He actually ruined her for all other men! I think I listened to the original once and it seemed just a horribly sexist thing in the original context.

01-20-2011, 10:32 PM	#4
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Update (warning, rant follows) OK, this is not going to turn out well. I am rapidly attaining the status of main dish even though I keep turning down the dinner invitations. I won't pick up the phone when the caller ID shows that it's Glen. He retaliates by leaving long messages on my voice mail. He tells me that I "am loved," and reads me stuff he has written, including poetry (he IS a very good writer). He expresses concern for me and tells me funny stories about his day. After listening to a few of these voice mails, I am softened up enough to finally answer when he calls. He expresses delight to finally speak with me at last, recalls the good times we shared together in the old days, is witty and self deprecating and very sexy in an understated way. The telephone lines from Arizona to Colorado must be fairly sizzling when we talk. He has even enlisted his family in the cause. I have spoken with his sister on the phone and on FaceBook. She comes off as a very nice person. Glen 's youngest son also chats with me from time. I am still fond of that kid! Yes, I know that I should get an unlisted number, change my e-mail, and not go NEAR FaceBook for at least the next 20 years. I should distract myself with cleaning the kitty litter box, thinking uplifting thoughts and even seeking out silver foxes on an Internet dating site - they may all be scoundrels, but at least they haven't PROVED it to me yet. Or maybe I could start sending sultry PM's to Urbane Guerilla. I could write a self help book titled "Women who by LAW should be prevented from relationships - the true story of SamIam's amazing romantic misadventures." So Glen's plan is to go visit his son's family back in our old home town, then come to Cortez to finish me off. I don't understand why he is putting all this energy into my demise. Up to now I was minding my own business and not hurting anybody - OK, I did send a few sarcastic replies to would-be online silver foxes, but that was it. I have one question. I'd like to ask Glen to re-arrange his schedule and come see me before he goes to visit his son. Why drag this thing out? He is quite capable of carrying out in less than a week whatever diabolical plan he has in mind. I, of course, will spend the next year or two recovering. But I want to get this entire sordid affair over with and go on with my so-called life as soon as possible. Why stretch things out? Strike when the iron is hot and all that. Do you think he would agree to this? Or would he just get mad and vanish again, only to reappear when we're both 70? Sincerely, Sleepless in Cortez

01-21-2011, 12:34 PM	#9
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	Seems there's a bit of "Come-hither, Get-thee-away" working in both directions here.

01-21-2011, 12:52 PM	#10
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Thrill of the chase, and the first thing that occurred to me is how the brain works on remembering your past. Remembers the good bits, and cherishes them; forgets the bad bits because who wants to dwell on that? And so maybe he remembers the good bits, and forgets why it didn't really work at the time. Wow sometimes i think how great it would be to go back to my college days. Good times! All the terrible bouts of depression and anxiety and desperation and confusion... I'm sure that wouldn't happen if I was young again and had another crack at it!

01-21-2011, 01:22 PM	#11
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I have this great memory of the semester I spent abroad in Germany in college. I mean, it was honestly the best evar. Last night, I was flipping through my journal from that time. And first of all, I had plenty of time to fill a journal then, so what does that say? And second, on most days my only entry was something like "skipped class today. Was bored, so I went for a really long walk." Now I have pictures from then, and they show me having a good time, and I have lots of memories where I had a good time, But I'd completely forgotten all those times when I was bored and lonely and walking for miles with no particular destination.

01-21-2011, 10:33 PM	#13
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Hang on, back up. He had a daughter, whom he abandoned along with you. He also has a son? Where does this second kid fit into the timeline? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

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