Antidepressant round-up

[Gravdigr]

What are you on now?

Weed and alcohol. And occasionally, sex. The weed and the alcohol work ok.

The sex works real good.

[Perry Winkle]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Weed.

One of my favorite nurses at the hospital suggested I try weed. Not sure what to make of that.

[Griff]

It seems like you should have an observer or journal or something. It is so easy to lose yourself self-medicating.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle

One of my favorite nurses at the hospital suggested I try weed. Not sure what to make of that.

I don't do weed anymore but it was like ultra caffeine for me, I would get a tremendous amount of things done just not very focused, and then the let down on the back side was three or four days of zombie-like inability to motivate.

I haven't had the luxury of having four days where I could be completely non-functioning in decades.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

...and then the let down on the back side was three or four days of zombie-like inability to motivate.

Shit dude...

[Pico and ME]

Juniper, I have the same effin problem. My get up and go has got up and went. And I cant get it back. However, I just started cheating a little. When I need to get a lot done in a little time, I take a little bit of Adderall (left over from my stepson). Not a whole pill...way to many bad side effects - getting seriously irritable for one and totally losing my appetite for another. It is simply speed after all and speed was my preferred drug when I was in high school and college.

[Juniper]

Pseudoephedrine works for me too, but with high blood pressure I can't take it anymore

[Pico and ME]

Originally Posted by Juniper

Pseudoephedrine works for me too, but with high blood pressure I can't take it anymore

Yea, I get somewhat the same effect, which is why I am sol when I have a sinus headache at night. The pseudoephedrine in Advil Sinus is the only thing that kicks it.

[Shawnee123]

Depression as choice: you knew some bozo would imply that.

Hint: if you can control it, subdue it, kick it, push it back, hide it, cajole it, humor it, play with it, languish in it, and stab it, then it is NOT clinical depression.

Big difference. Just sayin'.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Hint: if you can control it, subdue it, kick it, push it back, hide it, cajole it, humor it, play with it, languish in it, and stab it, then it is NOT clinical depression.

What if ya just live with it?

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

What if ya just live with it?

Wow, I hadn't thought of that.

Oh yeah, I mentioned that living might not have been an option without help.

I thought about this the other day, my conversation with Dana, and I think what I failed to mention is that there is guilt involved with "why can't you just live with it" which is a lot like the bootstraps comments. Do you suppose that those who are finding a way to live with it haven't tried, time after time, to do it without meds, to just keep putting one foot in front of the other? Years of that guilt, that "what the fuck is wrong with my sorry ass" is what makes me touchy on the subject.

I also have genetics against me: a grandparent was most certainly bipolar, though I won't get into details. A wonderful man, really, but looking back on his behaviors, on his life...maybe an old-timey diagnosis would have helped him.

There is still the social stigma, the misunderstanding. For example, Grav, the joke to foot "don't hide 'em, divide 'em" while clever, belies ignorance about how modern anti-depressants work. I could send you half of mine, but all it will do is make you very sick for a while. If you get used to them, you'll just get very very sick upon withdrawal. But you can pick up my prescription, when you realize you're a day out of them and you're about to get very very ill.

You wouldn't ask for this, let alone impose this diagnosis on yourself, unless you like to be sick for attention. I do not.

[/soapbox]

[Pete Zicato]

As a grade school teacher, Mrs. Z has seen a number of parents who wanted to put their kid on meds that didn't need them.

But more commonly she saw parents of kids who clearly needed the meds and didn't want to go that route. Her comment to them was, "If your kid had an infection and needed antibiotics, would you hesitate for even a minute to give them the drugs they needed? This should be no different."

Some listened. Some didn't.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

For example, Grav, the joke to foot "don't hide 'em, divide 'em" while clever, belies ignorance about how modern anti-depressants work. I could send you half of mine, but all it will do is make you very sick for a while. If you get used to them, you'll just get very very sick upon withdrawal. But you can pick up my prescription, when you realize you're a day out of them and you're about to get very very ill.

Your inability to read one sentence, and let it go belies ignorance about how humor works. Maybe this'll help:

hu·mor - n.

1. The quality that makes something laughable or amusing; funniness: as in: could not see the humor of the situation.
2. That which is intended to induce laughter or amusement: a writer skilled at crafting humor.
3. The ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd.

Who the fuck would actually ask someone he doesn't know for their unknown pills? Who the fuck would take pills from a stranger? How the fuck would I get 'em? You didn't display a lot of thought on this one did ya?

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

You wouldn't ask for this, let alone impose this diagnosis on yourself, unless you like to be sick for attention. I do not.

I didn't ask for it. I don't ask for it. But, I do have to live with it. Every day. I had to live with it when I was so fucked up (and I don't mean high) nobody would have anything to do with me. I lived with it in my parents' house. I lived with it in my home. I lived with it when all I had was a box to live in. I lived with it in prison. Don't talk to me about "asking for it".

"unless you like to be sick for attention." Kiss my ass for that.



And just so you know, I don't take any prescription medication, anti-depressants or otherwise.

[DanaC]

Alternatively it means someone suffers varying degrees of depression and sometimes feel as if they are making a choice not to sink deeper, because in that instance the bout of depression they are feeling is a more manageable one.


I do somewhat subscribe to an element of choice in depression. But I also know that in my own case, I am not capable of making that choice until i get to a certain point with it. Usually, I have already been depressed for some time when I have an epiphany moment ("Ohhh...I'm depressed, that's what it is.") and this epiphany moment usually occurs in the early hours of the morning, having thoroughly harangued myself mentally, with my mind on fast and looping rails, for several hours. Usually this happens after several nights, or more rarely weeks, of the same shit.

Once I have that epiphany moment, everything clicks into place: it explains this about the last few days/weeks, and that. It explains where that tears at the back of my eyes and tight throat feeling is coming from. It explains why I haven;t been able to make myself work, or function properly in the world. Why I've been ignoring the phone, avoiding people, feeling old, feeling ill, feeling whatever negative shit I've been feeling. It explains why the pots have piled up in the kitchen and are discussing forming their own commune. It explains why I haven't been enjoying Pilau's walk, or seeing friends, or anything else that takes me out of my cocoon. It explains why I have ceased being kind to myself and am mentally raking over shit I long ago deemed settled. It explains why I can't interact within any of my family, without having some part of my mind preparing for future bereavement. And why the far future looks so dark.

Once I have realised it's depression, I am on the way up. I am suddenly capable of switching off the thought-rail. Yes it turns itself back on again, but I quickly spot it and turn it back off. I still don't want to go out, but I am more able to force myself through that. Work is still an effort, as is writing on an envelope and posting a letter, but I am usually able then to make myself do one or two small tasks. Ok, so posting back a form, and phoning the vet isn't exactly a day's work, but coming up, it feels like an achievement and another step back.

Over the years I seem to be able to spot that trend sooner. Before I sink to the real depths. Whether it's an illusion or not, I feel more able to intervene and exert control at certain points in the process. My memories of those depths scare the shit out of me, and I am kind of always vigilant for signs that I am losing a grip on my control, my optimism, my peace of mind. I have developed strategies. Things I tell myself, things I do. That allow me to feel more in control of it.

There is a price though. This is part of the reason I have chosen both a single, and a childless life. I am happy with that choice. I have learned to be happy more generally with my choices. A trick taught me both by some very shitty experiences and a very wise Mum.

[Shawnee123]

Times when I've thought I could 'manage' my depression, and went off my meds: well, I'm lucky I'm not dead and can still hold a job.

I think this is why so many people seem to be on anti-depressents: for relief from the 'blues.' I have no problem with that. Getting through rough spots, not a problem. SSRIs don't turn you into a zombie, it seems a fair treatment.

I just get concerned with lackadaisical attitudes towards true clinical (chemical) depression by blues sufferers who pick themselves up by the bootstraps and ride off into the sunset like some western hero. It's great that they can do that: but it doesn't mean they're awful darn special and stronger than everyone else or something.