I Just Can't Stand It

[infinite monkey]

Raise your hand if you'd be damn glad to have Bri call you a bitch or a cunt!

:raiseshand:

Thank you Sundae. It's difficult to talk about, and when I do I feel like I'm saying the exact wrong thing. But I had to say what I said because it's been eating me up.

Even that ^ feels weird. Eating me up? So? I feel like "suck it up, self" because it's a loss that can't be fixed so why does it matter a whit that it's been hard on 'me.' Ugh. I just have no idea how to express these things.

I do thank you for understanding.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

And one more thing: how dumb is it to BUY gizzards for eatin'? I mean, it's a fucking digestive organ. It's got, like, sand or something in it.

They are full of collagen and a lot of very rich chicken flavor, you can cook them for hours, slowly in liquid, to make a broth or flavor base. They give that wonderful teeth stuck together thing that good chicken soups do. The gravel is washed out of them before you get them. I don't know anyone who actually eats them, per se, but apparently a lot of people do. They are a muscley organ. I imagine they'd be chewy as hell without a lot of cooking.

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

At Wally World about all you can buy are God Books, Amish Romance, and whatever wampire/werewolf/stoopid fantasy creature series is popular right now. There you go, the dumbing down, the rise of stupid. Sheep.

I have a friend who is a farmer, very funny and extremely 'earthy' sense of humor. Not in the pun sense or earthy. His farm is in a heavily Amish populated area. He was joking about wanting to produce a series of Amish Farmgirl Porn movies. He'd get on a tear describing the plot arcs and the Amish girls, except they wouldn't be the idealized typical porn girl, they'd be your typical Amish farm girl... I guess it gets lonely out on the organic vegetable farms... Still he had me in stitches with the preposterous incongruity of it.

Originally Posted by glatt

There were plenty of signs, and I did nothing. But I thought she was going to work through it again like she always had in the past. I was wrong. I wish I had reacted differently, but even if I had done something drastic, what were we supposed to do, have someone guard her 24/7?

We gave her a community that supported her.

Apart from trained professionals how many of us recognized those signs only in hindsight? A lot of us let it all hang out here and have days where we say "fuck it." Of course, NOW I read all sorts of things into her last few weeks of posting, and it makes sense, but had things turned out differently, the meaning of those posts would be different too.

We remain.

[Sundae]

I've been lucky because I've had someone close enough to visit (Limey) with personal knowledge of suicide, to talk to.
So I can come on here and say wah-wah-wah and not worry. Because the initial phase has passed. Not the grief. No, never the grief. But we all know that.
Holding it in must be fucking awful.

I'd give a lot to have Bri call me a cunt right now.
She always called me baby-girl. I'd never have let a man call me that!
I can hear her now. Makes me want to bang my head against the wall until my brains spill out.

All I can hope, Infi, is that you know you can say what you want on the Cellar.
Whatever your support at home (and I really hope you have some), no-one knew Brianna the way we did. Come here with your memories and pain. If it hurts, when it hurts, let it out. This wide world might not know or care, but we do.

[infinite monkey]

I'm a bad friend. I know this. I forget birthdays and I don't send cards (though I buy them sometimes and never get around to sending them) and I don't know what to say about anything. I'm good for a ride somewhere and those kinds of things. But I'm damn bad at being 'friends' like girls typically are. I'm bad on the phone. I'm not good at calling people and sometimes I don't answer the phone.

When I read Bri's son's post, I had just written her a thank you card, about an hour earlier...for being there for me when I went into the bin. I had finished one for BigSarge too (it's still sitting at home) and then I read that post and jesus christ I still had her card sitting in front of me.

And I stopped. That card won't get sent. I tried to do the good things friends do and it was too late.

And I didn't go to the funeral and I don't miss funerals I always go to pay respects and I was sick that day and I just couldn't, just couldn't get myself to get myself ready and leave the house and go there. And I can never, ever, ever fix that.

So, there, I finally said it. I feel like a jerk because I am a jerk. I'm angry at myself so as always I am angry with the world. But I am OK. I am me. It's not always good enough but I am trying as hard as I can. I'm really really trying.

[infinite monkey]

Anyway...

BTW, Grav please check in. TY.

Also, livers and gizzards are supposedly very expensive at the KFC. For guts. I don't care if you cook them for 30 years, I ain't knowingly eating them.

[footfootfoot]

Knowingly eating them?
You're soaking in them!

[IamSam]

Huh! I thought EVERYBODY ate chicken gizzards, but maybe they're just a Kentucky/Southern thing. My uppity Swiss Mom would turn up her nose, but I loved it when my Dad showed off his Kentucky cooking abilities and woud throw a batch of gizzards into the pot to simmer for dinner - takes around 3 hours or so to do 'em up right. For anyone who wants to try them out.

I bet this crowd would be a hard sell on boiled pigs' feet, as well. No wonder Gravdgr took himself off in disgust with a little corn likker for consolation.

[Sundae]

You know what we eat over here.
Or at least you should, me being here since '05 and all.
Dana and Limey too of course, but I hold my hand up as the most common and therefore the most likely to eat teh grim stuff.

Gizzards?
You were klucky!

PS I am buying into a stereotype I recently criticised Foot for. And he was only joking.
But I am allowed.
I am white and English and I am women, eat me raw.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

I'm a bad friend. I know this. I forget birthdays and I don't send cards (though I buy them sometimes and never get around to sending them) and I don't know what to say about anything. I'm good for a ride somewhere and those kinds of things. But I'm damn bad at being 'friends' like girls typically are. I'm bad on the phone. I'm not good at calling people and sometimes I don't answer the phone.
.

I could have written that about myself.

Fortunately, most of my friends seem to recognise and accept this utter lack of friendly behaviour as in no way indicative of a lack of caring. Otherwise, i'd have no friends :p

[infinite monkey]

[busterb]

Iamsam brought out the pig's feet. ears ago, I had just read Mandingo, came home and Mom had pig's feet on stove. All the bones in pot, no way.
I have eaten pickeled feet and used them to make head cheese. But no heads in my souse or head cheese.

[DanaC]

head cheese...

*shakes head*

[footfootfoot]

I've eaten pig's ears. Can't say I developed a craving after the first one.

[glatt]

I'll eat the gizzard when we're roasting a turkey. They are pretty good with a dash of salt. I wouldn't pay extra for one though, the breast/thigh/leg/wing meat is all better.

Head cheese is gross.

Never had ear and wouldn't seek it out.

[IamSam]

Originally Posted by glatt

I'll eat the gizzard when we're roasting a turkey. They are pretty good with a dash of salt. I wouldn't pay extra for one though, the breast/thigh/leg/wing meat is all better.

Head cheese is gross.

Never had ear and wouldn't seek it out.

Well, you are certainly welcome to your mis-perceptions, but I'd strongly advise you to stay out of Goldbug, KY - a man with attitudes like yours. I don't think even Grvdggr could help a flat lander like you who probably can't even sit down to a nice roast possum for dinner, never mind a side of pig trotters to go with it.