Lumberjim...I need helmet source recommendations for guys with big heads - Page 3

Clodfobble · 09-24-2015, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

I mean, have you ever known a woman who measured her snatch?

Measured, no. But I know I have a larger than average cooter. I also have a stronger than average cooter, though, so I choose to believe it works out in the end.

limey · 09-24-2015, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Measured, no. But I know I have a larger than average cooter. I also have a stronger than average cooter, though, so I choose to believe it works out in the end.

Oh Clod! That's set all of the minds of the Cellarmen racing!

Undertoad · 09-24-2015, 01:31 PM

Wull wait, howdya -

and howdya --

--

and wait, wait, howdya know what AVERAGE is?!?

Clodfobble · 09-24-2015, 01:42 PM

Here is what I know:

1.) More than one partner (in the politest of honest-sharing contexts) has admitted that I am, at the very least, the largest they have been with. And I have been with the same person since I was 19, so it's not like this is a post-baby development (and mine didn't come out that direction anyway.)

2.) The sex toys that I find ideal are what the internet refers to as "super extra large." Regular ones are... meh.

3.) Tampons fall out of me. Not right away, but you're supposed to have to pull those fuckers out, not shove them back in repeatedly. I just recently discovered extra large ones online--not extra absorbent, mind you, just a little wider than normal. They are not directly advertised precisely as such, but the discreetly-worded positive reviews did not lead me astray.

Gravdigr · 09-24-2015, 01:58 PM

Clod's...stronger than...oval-headed...

I can't concentrate for shit right now...

monster · 09-24-2015, 05:53 PM

sounds like you could accommodate a large helmet

sexobon · 09-24-2015, 09:46 PM

Maybe some Dark Helmet.

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Gravdigr · 09-25-2015, 10:23 AM

I'm still thinking about Clod's "stronger than average cooter"...

Mr. Clod is a lucky man...Urrbody wants a girl with a stout coochie.

"Son, here's the secret to a happy life: Find yourself a girl who can pick up a full magnum of champagne with her twitchit, and marry that girl."

Clodfobble · 09-25-2015, 05:03 PM

Rest assured, he puts up with plenty of other crap in exchange.

limey · 09-26-2015, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

I'm still thinking about Clod's "stronger than average cooter"...

Mr. Clod is a lucky man...Urrbody wants a girl with a stout coochie.

"Son, here's the secret to a happy life: Find yourself a girl who can pick up a full magnum of champagne with her twitchit, and marry that girl."

I genuinely lol'd. For quite some time.

Sent by thought transference

BigV · 09-26-2015, 09:50 AM

That's the end of the list, then. I guess EVERYthing really is bigger in Texas.

Clodfobble · 09-26-2015, 11:44 AM

Just goes to prove that guys aren't actually all that picky. "Hot dog in a hallway" is almost as common an insult category as the "pencil dick" theme, but admit you have one and all of a sudden it's, "oh my god that's so hot."

What guy says, "Actually, my penis is really small," and all the women start fawning? Doesn't happen. All a woman has to do is begin to describe their body--in whatever terms they want--and the men immediately respond that it just so happens to be their favorite kind.

Undertoad · 09-26-2015, 12:21 PM

Every female in the tribe must get pregnant. Very important.

lumberjim · 09-26-2015, 01:20 PM

Gravdigr · 09-26-2015, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Just goes to prove that guys aren't actually all that picky. "Hot dog in a hallway" is almost as common an insult category as the "pencil dick" theme, but admit you have one and all of a sudden it's, "oh my god that's so hot."

What guy says, "Actually, my penis is really small," and all the women start fawning? Doesn't happen. All a woman has to do is begin to describe their body--in whatever terms they want--and the men immediately respond that it just so happens to be their favorite kind.

It's kinda like the thing that Ron White talks about with boobs:

Quote:

It could be some dried up old biker gal with wrinkly sagging boobs and she could say "Ya wanna see mah titties?" And all guys are like "Well...uh...er..Yeah." If you've seen one titty, you pretty much wanna see the rest of them.

Only it's more like:

Guy: I sure do wish I had a little pussy.

Gal: Me too. Mine's big as a hat. Ya want some of it?

Guy: Well...uh...er...Yeah. That's my favorite kind.

09-24-2015, 01:42 PM	#34
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Here is what I know: 1.) More than one partner (in the politest of honest-sharing contexts) has admitted that I am, at the very least, the largest they have been with. And I have been with the same person since I was 19, so it's not like this is a post-baby development (and mine didn't come out that direction anyway.) 2.) The sex toys that I find ideal are what the internet refers to as "super extra large." Regular ones are... meh. 3.) Tampons fall out of me. Not right away, but you're supposed to have to pull those fuckers out, not shove them back in repeatedly. I just recently discovered extra large ones online--not extra absorbent, mind you, just a little wider than normal. They are not directly advertised precisely as such, but the discreetly-worded positive reviews did not lead me astray. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-24-2015, 01:58 PM	#35
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Clod's...stronger than...oval-headed... I can't concentrate for shit right now... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-24-2015, 05:53 PM	#36
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	sounds like you could accommodate a large helmet __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-25-2015, 10:23 AM	#38
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I'm still thinking about Clod's "stronger than average cooter"... Mr. Clod is a lucky man...Urrbody wants a girl with a stout coochie. "Son, here's the secret to a happy life: Find yourself a girl who can pick up a full magnum of champagne with her twitchit, and marry that girl." __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-25-2015, 05:03 PM	#39
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Rest assured, he puts up with plenty of other crap in exchange. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-24-2015, 01:31 PM	#33
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Wull wait, howdya - and howdya -- -- and wait, wait, howdya know what AVERAGE is?!?

09-24-2015, 09:46 PM	#37
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Maybe some Dark Helmet.

09-26-2015, 09:50 AM	#41
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	That's the end of the list, then. I guess EVERYthing really is bigger in Texas. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-26-2015, 11:44 AM	#42
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Just goes to prove that guys aren't actually all that picky. "Hot dog in a hallway" is almost as common an insult category as the "pencil dick" theme, but admit you have one and all of a sudden it's, "oh my god that's so hot." What guy says, "Actually, my penis is really small," and all the women start fawning? Doesn't happen. All a woman has to do is begin to describe their body--in whatever terms they want--and the men immediately respond that it just so happens to be their favorite kind. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-26-2015, 12:21 PM	#43
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Every female in the tribe must get pregnant. Very important.

09-26-2015, 01:20 PM	#44
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	__________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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