Women and Self Esteem

[Undertoad]

Not left for someone better actually... just given enough self-esteem to be able to deal with life without me or, really, anyone else specific around and --

Aw hell it gets complicated

and let's just say "not left for someone better" since obviously there is no-one better

[limey]

Originally posted by Undertoad
Not left for someone better actually... just given enough self-esteem to be able to deal with life without me or, really, anyone else specific around and --

Aw hell it gets complicated

and let's just say "not left for someone better" since obviously there is no-one better

Happens to me all the time. I've begun to recognize this as my personal life-track. I've done it so often I expect it now ....

[York]

my girlfriend has some low self-esteem sometimes, but who's ( gotta be ) perfect? I like her the way she is, but she doesnt sometimes....She would never think about babys cause she thought she wouldnt be a good mother, she also smokes, not much , and hardly when im with her, i dont mind...after we taken a shower and brushed well, all is gone! And i got the best cure to make her stop now that she would like a child....hahaha

[OnyxCougar]

Well, I have low self esteem, but I don't think it has an adverse effect on my marriage. I mean, it's all about my looks and not about my abilities. I think the extent to which the low self esteem is pervading the individual is more telling than whether it's there or not.

Did that make sense? (I'm at first day back to work after vacation, and my brain is fuzzy....)

[York]

i think there are just as many who are concerned about their look as there are about their abilities....but if yr man s a good man, he wont mind! Its most off the times more important for a girl than for her man i think! I always tell her and myself there is nothing to complain about, there are people that arnt aible to do anything ....thats much wurse...i got only one life, try to enjoy urself and dont care what people say or think....but thats just me!

[Catwoman]

I agree with Beestie on the formative-child-love thing. I also think love is not half as magical as we'd like to think. A lot of women's insecurity is related to men (however much we may protest that it's not) and a dissilusionment with an image of love that will never match up to reality. Thus those women who's lives/relationships are in conflict with their ideals (i.e. every woman) will experience some kind of insecurity/low self-esteem.

Relationships? Pah.

[York]

for some people its the best there is, some relativate it and it aint that much, if u talk to people that " found" eachother during the worldwar , they will speak about love differently.... People arent made to be alone, but are they made to be with someone all the time? Who will tell for sure? Like i said before, i think its al devided, there will be many different reasons for that low or high self-esteem, but thats why all individuals are uniek! U can try fix a foodproblem, but somewhere someone will still be hungry...as a matter of speach offcourse! Self esteem is like confidence...u need to feel good, and if someone has the opposite effect on someone and makes him/her feel bad, it wasnt meant to be! I told myself always , "there are millions a people, somewhere love is around..just be patient..." And now after about 10 years i found it right next to me...she lives in my town and her birthday is on the same day as mine..what about that coincidence?

[Catwoman]

I don't think we're like swans. Else why all the affairs, divorces? I'd like to think there is someone for everyone but I just can't see it. We are individuals, not pairs. Love is just the ultimate antidote to insecurity.

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by Catwoman
I don't think we're like swans. Else why all the affairs, divorces? I'd like to think there is someone for everyone but I just can't see it. We are individuals, not pairs. Love is just the ultimate antidote to insecurity.

Hrm...that last sentence would make a great signature line.

But seriously, just taking my personal example, I was alone and somewhat insecure for a long time before I met Sycamore (because as I stated in an earlier post, I didn't want to fall into any type of relationship with anybody until *I* felt the time was right and that *I* was right with myself). I could have fallen into all kinds of situtations based on my insecurity with myself, but I refused to do so. I knew that it would lead to nothing but drama, and that's the last thing I needed on top of everything else that I had to deal with (nothing major, just everyday bullshit).

Basically, "I can do bad all by myself". (which is actually a name of a play! LOL). But it's so true.

And I also believe that there is someone for everyone. You may not find that "someone" right away, or hell, maybe even never, but they are out there.

[limey]

Originally posted by Catwoman
[snip] ... Love is just the ultimate antidote to insecurity.

Nope. I don't think so. Many people think that's what love is, but the ultimate antidote to insecurity is self-esteem.

[perth]

Good call Limey. I think, wait, know I would rather be with a girl who is happy with who she is than someone who needs constant validation. Which I why I'm doomed to a life of singledom. :p

[Catwoman]

Thanks Lady Syc I took your advice...! I'm glad you have found your someone though... I'm sure you'll have very happy lives together.

[Beestie]

Originally posted by perth
Good call Limey. I think, wait, know I would rather be with a girl who is happy with who she is than someone who needs constant validation. Which I why I'm doomed to a life of singledom. :p

Doomed? Singledom beats the snot out of being with someone who doesn't have a handle on their insecurities. You should thank your lucky stars. And now that all your Cellar buds are looking out for you, your next gf will have to pass muster with us first. No serious dating until she signs up for an account here and gets a passing mark. And we're a tough crowd so don't be bringing any shrinkin' violets in here

[jaguar]

which brings up an interesting question in itself. Have you ever been tested by someone only to find out later? How did you feel? Ever tested someone? How? Why? Did you tell them?

[limey]

Originally posted by jaguar
which brings up an interesting question in itself. Have you ever been tested by someone only to find out later? How did you feel? Ever tested someone? How? Why? Did you tell them?

Substance for a new thread, no?