Polyamorous Relationships...

[richlevy]

Originally Posted by Griff

Sometimes conservative attitudes exist because they protect people. I only know that I'm not perceptive enough to know five people as well as I know one. I know I'm coming off as pretty square here but I've been in enough classrooms to see what kids become when they are not first on their parents list of priorities.

And sometimes they exist as a form of hypocrisy to make society at large feel better about itself. When some states have more laws on the books prohibiting sex toys than firearms you have to wonder who is protecting whom from what.

Being 'conservative' and caring about children are not the same thing.

[elf]

Originally Posted by Griff

You already know that the intensity of these exta-familial relationships is much higher than "regular" socializing.

If you really have an eleven year old girl in your house who hasn't been taught anything about her sexuality, you are not protecting her.

Sometimes conservative attitudes exist because they protect people. I only know that I'm not perceptive enough to know five people as well as I know one. I know I'm coming off as pretty square here but I've been in enough classrooms to see what kids become when they are not first on their parents list of priorities.

Whuff dah. Ok, I know you aren't deliberately trying to get my rile up so I'm going to not get overdefensive. . .

The 'intensity' of the relationship.... how to put it. Let's try a scale of one to ten.
1 would be the mellowness of a family gathering when the 'black sheep' of the family didn't show up. Comfortable. Easy, yes?
5 would be an average, somewhat affectionate couple (will kiss in front of the kids, but limit it to a few seconds, and no groping) Disputes will be settled without hiding from the kids, but any heated arguements will wait till they're not there.
10 would be... oh, how about a night club? High competition, attitudes, etc. Sexual tension and the possibility of fights breaking out everywhere.

The group we're with rates around a four.

Hell, I'm not sure how much an eleven year old should know. . . She knows what appropriate contact is, and which parts of her body are her own and not to be touched by others. She knows that she can come to me if she's curious about things or if something her friends have said has got her perplexed. She was purely disgusted with me when I asked her after her school dance if she kissed any boys.

Am I that far off?

I don't think you're 'coming off square' as you put it, I think you saw something that set off your alarm bells, and went ahead and said so. So far as I see, that's always a good judgement call.

[melidasaur]

I know people who are involved in this lifestyle. They seem to enjoy it. The problem I have with it is that they are so casual about it, especially when they have kids. They act like it's no big deal to be having an orgy when the kids are in the house too. It just seems weird to me... otherwise, whatever floats your boat.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by richlevy

And sometimes they exist as a form of hypocrisy to make society at large feel better about itself. When some states have more laws on the books prohibiting sex toys than firearms you have to wonder who is protecting whom from what.

Being 'conservative' and caring about children are not the same thing.

Truth.

[Troubleshooter]

1 of 4 from a convention attended by Peter Bagge, from the Reason website: (be sure to check out all 4)



The rest can be found here.

[staceyv]

I am liberal enough to believe in gay marriage, abortion, and promiscuity, but when it comes to marriage, I don't see the point in it if you're sharing your spouse.
I could never share my husband with another woman, and I would never want to be with another man. If he told me that I could be with someone else, I still wouldn't, because I know that if I was, I would feel so guilty and I think it would ruin our marriage. Just picturing him sharing himself with another woman like that pisses me off and saddens me at the same time.
That's what I feel is best for ME and MY marraige, but hey, to each his own. I work with a girl who has an open marriage like that, and I'm nice to her, we chat, whatever, but I never want to hang out with her outside of work and I'll never understand it, but who the hell am I to judge people? I'll do what makes me happy, and hey, do whatever makes you happy.

[lumberjim]

it's just skin.....

[wolf]

Originally Posted by elf

:p heh. Dramatic much?

Not at all, as many here will tell you.

Just very conservative, and spend a majority of my time dealing with fucked up people and their fucked up worse offspring.

[elf]

Originally Posted by melidasaur

I know people who are involved in this lifestyle. They seem to enjoy it. The problem I have with it is that they are so casual about it, especially when they have kids. They act like it's no big deal to be having an orgy when the kids are in the house too. It just seems weird to me... otherwise, whatever floats your boat.

You'd think we were splayed out in the living room or something. . . There's a buffer of three rooms, one hallway and a flight of stairs.

Kids and sex don't mix. Agreed. Does that mean a married couple should not have sex in the same house that the kids are sleeping in? Of course not.

[elf]

Originally Posted by Troubleshooter

1 of 4 from a convention attended by Peter Bagge, from the Reason website: (be sure to check out all 4)

(comic omitted for the sake of space)

The rest can be found here.

eek. I'm pretty sure I won't be attending any conventions. Activists scare me.

I would probably stay away from just about any kind of alternate lifestyle gathering. It's mind-boggling how different each relationship can be, and how extreme they can get. I figure me and mine for the low-key end of the whole thing.

[melidasaur]

Originally Posted by elf

You'd think we were splayed out in the living room or something. . . There's a buffer of three rooms, one hallway and a flight of stairs.

Kids and sex don't mix. Agreed. Does that mean a married couple should not have sex in the same house that the kids are sleeping in? Of course not.

The people I know are splayed out in the living room... their children are also older and beginning to develop their own sexuality per se... I know I was a pretty warped pre-teen, but if my parents were engaging in that sort of activity in my house when I was that age, I think I might have ended up really messed up.

[elf]

Originally Posted by staceyv

[...]when it comes to marriage, I don't see the point in it if you're sharing your spouse. [...]

Sex is healthy. Sex is fun. Sex with friends rocks. <i>Love</i> has nothing to do with it. Love as friends, yes. <i>Love</i> as I do my husband, no. Different thing entirely. (Shouldn't there be different words for love in all it's forms?)

I don't see it as "sharing" my husband. We go visit them to have fun. We play games, watch football, while away Sunday mornings, have sex, go shopping, dancing... we just don't tend to bother with worrying about who is with whom for which part.

But we are very married. If he left me I would fall to pieces. We have each other to hold when the world rocks on its axis, we rely on each other's strength when our own fails. I brought him through having a heart condition taken care of - which he would have ignored till it killed him, were he single. He is my rock, and keeps me from floating adrift when my impulses would have me make bad decisions.

Maybe it's because I was very promiscuous before I was married. Maybe it's because I'm a gypsy and hate to have too much pattern in my life... I don't know why it works, but we're much happier, have more sex as a couple, generally healthier and more satisfied with life than when we were 'just a married couple'.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by lookout123

bruce hasn't been here yet, so i thought i would beat him to the punch.

Yes I have.

[Happy Monkey]

Who'd a thunk it? A Republican is trying to allow polygamy! Doesn't he know that that's just one step down the slippery slope to gay marriage?

[Elspode]

I still say that society has no business regulating consensual personal relationship contracts between adults. In the case of Mormon Polygamy, though, there's the small matter of people marrying off their children when they're still...well...children.

There are issues of child molestation in the Utah polygamy communities, and I do tend to agree with the notion that children should not be allowed to enter in to consensual, legally binding agreements.