What's mildly irritating you today?

[ZenGum]

I think the main gender difference is whether it's a smack in the face or stab in the back.

[Griff]

hmm... I've had this pain between my shoulder blades.

[DanaC]

I've worked in teams/settings in which I was the only (or very nearly) female in the room and also in settings where most of us were female and there was a sole or very few men.

In general terms I didn't notice much of a difference in the way each kind of group worked. But there were different 'rules' of interaction. The same outcome (everybody settled into a place in the hierarchy so that work could commence) was achieved through a different set of interactional tools and followed a different timeline.


[eta] Girls grow up receiving a lot of messages about what is typical female behaviour. One of the truisms about girls is that they are more psychologically and conversationally vicious than the boys. Boys will batter their enemies and once the fight is done it's done, but girls will slowly wear down their target through verbal and psychological bullying. That was my experience of girls' bullying. Though, it was also my experience of how boys bully girls.

There's been a bit of a cultural shift though. And schoolgirls who are bullied nowadays are almost as likely to be beaten up by the bully as a boy would be. Boys on the other hand have seemingly taken to the role of psychological cyberbully with great gusto.

A lot of what seems quintessentially female behaviour may be learned. Taught to us from our cradle and earliest exposure to our parents' culture. reinforced by personal experience, as everybody else plays out the same lessons.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Griff

I've come close enough to trouble by not joining in. I would be nicely f*cked if I joined team bitchery. I don't really understand the rules so I try not to play. Guys seem better at embracing their role in a hierarchy to impress the next bigger dog, the ladies I work with are actively sabotaging one another to open up spots to climb into. Maybe it's just a sick culture, but it is a female created culture.

You've just described the Nursing culture.

it's sick as fuck and the sicker/meaner you are - the higher up the ladder you go. Yeah. I'd rather work with men any day of the week. And yes, I realize how ironic and misogynistic that sounds but Dana is right. Women wear you down till you're ready to jump off a cliff'; boys just punch each other and get over it.

Chinese water torture vs. Napalm. I like a nice clean start myself so I prefer the Napalm. Get it out there, deal with it and be done. Let's not "ignore Janice" or be secretly mean to her and smile to her face until we drive her to insanity.

[DanaC]

As a slight aside, i have to say that the one place where I'd say men are equally, if not more, vicious in those terms than women is the world of politics.

I have never met so many whiny little ballbag bitches, with their plots and gossiping in factions and fucking under the breath whispers and giggles when someone is talking in a meeting and all agreeing to blank someone when they come into a room etc etc etc.

[ZenGum]

Well, I think what we have here, is that when money, prestige, or power are at stake, a significant portion of people (regardless of gender, race, age, whatever) act like ruthless amoral sociopaths. The more power and prestige, the more ruthless pricks it attracts, and being a ruthless prick does in fact cause you to survive and prosper, at least in the short term. Politics is probably the worst for attracting such types and allowing them to prosper.

(not everyone who is in politics is like this, or for these reasons, though.)

[DanaC]

Well said.

As I said in my earlier post, though that particularly savage psychological bullying corresponds with my childhood experience of girls, it also corresponds with my experience of being bullied by boys too. But they didn't seem to bully each other in that same way.

Actually, it seemed to me that the boys would use just enough to psychological warfare to draw the girls attention to someone then sit back and let them do the rest of the work.

[ZenGum]

Shit. She's onto us.

[infinite monkey]

This phone. I have lost two thoughtful posts because the connection is fizzling in and out again and it signs me out.

[infinite monkey]

Short posts

[infinite monkey]

This phone is going to accidentally be under the wheel of my car today. Oops, invoking my insurance. Give me one that works.

[infinite monkey]

And i cant figure out how to copy paste text.

[infinite monkey]

Not really gonna run over it sigh iguess i will call again tomorrow from work

[infinite monkey]

They want calls from another phone so they can trouble shoot

[infinite monkey]

The thing is the phone makes me a nervous wreck and esp talking to techies. I always feel stupid. Anxiety issue for me.