What does THIS mean? :( - Page 4

mrnoodle · 03-21-2006, 10:43 AM

Worth a second read.

Um. We were all very supportive last May when you were going to dump this guy. I can only speak for myself, but there is a limit to the amount of empathy I can give someone who absolutely refuses to try to help themselves.

cowboy.
the.
fuck.
up.

and stop rolling around in this guy's wake, desperate for whatever crumbs he will toss you. In particular, stop with the "I am so mad at him because he's not faithful to me" routine. You're boffing someone else's husband, and can't demand that he give you what he's not willing to give his spouse.

No more sympathy from this corner of the world -- not an iota -- until you take the steps necessary to stop deliberately destroying your life.

Boo coo sympathy, once you've done what you need to do.

Trilby · 03-21-2006, 10:50 AM

Ok. I get the message, noodle. Of course, you're right.

03-21-2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

It's just that he was the kindest man I had ever met and I had never experienced that sort of unconditional love and regard from anyone, let alone a man. I thought he was brilliant. He IS brilliant. He is accepting and good and has always thought of me

Brianna, what he did to you was classic. Unless someone has experienced it for themselves, its very hard to understand. These types are masters of the art of seduction. They seem SO special. They make you feel so special. In the early days, they make you feel that this is IT - this is the love that was meant to be! Then they begin to withdraw because they can't sustain the act. You are left feeling bewildered and confused. Was it something you did? They are quick to let you know that it WAS! They come back again, but its not like it was before. Then they retreat again in a game of cat and mouse with your heart.

They are brilliant at a tactic psychologists call intermittent re-enforcement. You can try this one for yourself at home, kiddies. Go down to the pet store and buy 20 white mice, two cages, and a sack of mouse chow. Buy two food dispensers to hang on the cages. Jam the mechanism of one of the food dispensers, so that the lever no longer works properly and sometimes will drop a pellet of food when pressed; other times it won't.

Divide your 20 new friends at random between the two cages, 10 each. Treat both groups of mice exactly the same. Give both groups the same amount of food, nesting material, etc. The only difference will be that the mice in the cage with the defective dispenser never know if they're going to get a food pellet or not. They may get a pellet the first time they press the lever, or they may have to press the lever 10 or 20 times before they get their pellet.

Check back on the mice after a week. The mice in the cage where they always get their food will be leading normal little mousie lives. They'll be running in their exercise wheel, building nests and frisking about being happy little mice. They won't be giving food a second thought. The mice in the other cage will have turned into neurotic wrecks. Even though they ultimately receive the same amount of food as the others, food will have become their obsession. They will be pressing the lever frantically long after they have gotten enough to eat. Stronger mice will have hoards of pellets that they defend against the weaker ones. They will be fighting with one another or curled up in depressed little ball of fur.

I understand why you seem to be obsessed with this man and have had such a hard time letting go. What he has done to you psychologically is very nasty. You are not his first victim, nor will you be his last.

You and I have had our minor tiffs on this board, Bri, but I DO understand what you are going through. I've been there. If you want, PM me, and I'll give you the site for a great support group for people who have had partners like the professor or the ax murderer. What you are going through is NOT your fault, Bri, and there are people out there who can help you if you want the help.

Elspode · 03-21-2006, 11:59 AM

FWIW - Bri, letting someone drag you around by the heartstrings is most decidedly *not* unconditional love. It is conditional in the extreme. The conditions are that you allow him to screw with you in every figurative and literal relationship sense, that you knowingly commit adultery with him (I'm assuming his wife doesn't sanction his philandering, but I could be wrong, there) and that you endure his diffidence and cruelty in order to get the occasional taste of what he has to offer.

Unconditional? Frigging hardly. He gave you a taste to get you hooked, then failed to deliver a steady supply. At least the local dope peddler can usually keep you in skag or crank.

Lucy · 03-21-2006, 07:41 PM

What mr noodle said.
I don't 'know' you, Brianna but I know you all too well.
What mr noodle said.
Good luck, dear.

yesman065 · 03-24-2006, 08:24 AM

His love is as conditional as it gets! He only does enough to get his own fix from you and once you give him what he needs he withdraws his "unconditional" love then the psychotic cycle repeats itself slowly drawing you further and further down. Then he goes away and can't get what he needs from you so he gets it from some other woman! This guy is a P.O.S. and needs to be thought of and treated like one! Get a pooper scooper and throw every memory of stepping into him and his world away.

Rock Steady · 03-31-2006, 04:07 AM

We have the ingredients of a new Movie and sequels.

"Poison Issac: Abuse of Romance"
"Poison Issac II: The Next Seduction"
"Posion Issac III: A Young Victim"
"Poison Issac IV: Revenge of Brianna"

We can get Alyssa Milano to play the part of Brianna. And who would be better than Jack Nicholson as Issac.

keryx · 03-31-2006, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock Steady

We have the ingredients of a new Movie and sequels.

"Poison Issac: Abuse of Romance"
"Poison Issac II: The Next Seduction"
"Posion Issac III: A Young Victim"
"Poison Issac IV: Revenge of Brianna"

We can get Alyssa Milano to play the part of Brianna. And who would be better than Jack Nicholson as Issac.

But since I thought that Issac was Brititsh, perhaps Kenneth Branagh or Liam Neeson would be a better choice.

yesman065 · 03-31-2006, 07:52 AM

No way, Sean Connery would be perfect except for the "Poison Issac IV: Revenge of Brianna" part where he gets his dick cut off! that would be too much for any former James Bond to handle.

Trilby · 03-31-2006, 09:49 AM

I

all of you! It makes me feel better to know you are here!

There is a new sherriff in town, if you catch my drift. I've got a gorgeous English prof at my own University--and, he's a Brit with a dreamy accent--like the one the Geico gekko has! MMMMmmmmmmmmmm! But, I will NOT get involved. I will merely admire him from afar and smile secretly to myself knowing that cute English profs are, indeed, a dime a dozen!

Cyclefrance · 03-31-2006, 10:38 AM

I missed all this Brianna. Tell me where in London he is and I will cycle over them and whack him around the head (and places more sensitive!) with my bunch of onions!

03-31-2006, 11:12 AM

Poison Isaac V - Brianna and the ex girl friends strike back!

I can see it all now, Brianna in the role of Bodaceia, the Celtic warrior queen with 123 other enraged females as her army. Run, Isacc, RUN! Whoops! Too late...

BTW, was it the Brit who inflicted Houseman on you, Bri? You should turn in my slangy Americanized explication of the poem just for grins!

Trilby · 03-31-2006, 11:51 AM

Just off the phone with him. CycleFrance, he's in woolwich-? At UEL, teaching English as a visiting professor. He told me he is fucking two different women there-one in her forty's and one in her fifties. HE TOLD ME. Ah. Well. I hung up the phone after saying a cordial goodbye (we talked for a while after he told me) and then I emailed him this: Don't bother contacting me anymore. By the way--if anyone wants to know who he is, PM me and I'll tell you.

Trilby · 03-31-2006, 11:52 AM

I feel as though I've been punched in the gut. three years of emotional dependence on him. I'm going to go get a bottle.

glatt · 03-31-2006, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

I'm going to go get a bottle.

He's not worth it.

And you are better off without him.

03-21-2006, 10:43 AM	#46
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	Worth a second read. Um. We were all very supportive last May when you were going to dump this guy. I can only speak for myself, but there is a limit to the amount of empathy I can give someone who absolutely refuses to try to help themselves. cowboy. the. fuck. up. and stop rolling around in this guy's wake, desperate for whatever crumbs he will toss you. In particular, stop with the "I am so mad at him because he's not faithful to me" routine. You're boffing someone else's husband, and can't demand that he give you what he's not willing to give his spouse. No more sympathy from this corner of the world -- not an iota -- until you take the steps necessary to stop deliberately destroying your life. Boo coo sympathy, once you've done what you need to do. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

03-21-2006, 11:59 AM	#49
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	FWIW - Bri, letting someone drag you around by the heartstrings is most decidedly not unconditional love. It is conditional in the extreme. The conditions are that you allow him to screw with you in every figurative and literal relationship sense, that you knowingly commit adultery with him (I'm assuming his wife doesn't sanction his philandering, but I could be wrong, there) and that you endure his diffidence and cruelty in order to get the occasional taste of what he has to offer. Unconditional? Frigging hardly. He gave you a taste to get you hooked, then failed to deliver a steady supply. At least the local dope peddler can usually keep you in skag or crank. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

03-31-2006, 04:07 AM	#52
Rock Steady Day Tripper Join Date: May 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 784	We have the ingredients of a new Movie and sequels. "Poison Issac: Abuse of Romance" "Poison Issac II: The Next Seduction" "Posion Issac III: A Young Victim" "Poison Issac IV: Revenge of Brianna" We can get Alyssa Milano to play the part of Brianna. And who would be better than Jack Nicholson as Issac. __________________

03-31-2006, 09:49 AM	#55
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I all of you! It makes me feel better to know you are here! There is a new sherriff in town, if you catch my drift. I've got a gorgeous English prof at my own University--and, he's a Brit with a dreamy accent--like the one the Geico gekko has! MMMMmmmmmmmmmm! But, I will NOT get involved. I will merely admire him from afar and smile secretly to myself knowing that cute English profs are, indeed, a dime a dozen! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-31-2006, 10:38 AM	#56
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	I missed all this Brianna. Tell me where in London he is and I will cycle over them and whack him around the head (and places more sensitive!) with my bunch of onions! __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

03-21-2006, 10:50 AM	#47
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Ok. I get the message, noodle. Of course, you're right.

03-21-2006, 07:41 PM	#50
Lucy Colloquialist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	What mr noodle said. I don't 'know' you, Brianna but I know you all too well. What mr noodle said. Good luck, dear.

03-24-2006, 08:24 AM	#51
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	His love is as conditional as it gets! He only does enough to get his own fix from you and once you give him what he needs he withdraws his "unconditional" love then the psychotic cycle repeats itself slowly drawing you further and further down. Then he goes away and can't get what he needs from you so he gets it from some other woman! This guy is a P.O.S. and needs to be thought of and treated like one! Get a pooper scooper and throw every memory of stepping into him and his world away.

03-31-2006, 07:52 AM	#54
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	No way, Sean Connery would be perfect except for the "Poison Issac IV: Revenge of Brianna" part where he gets his dick cut off! that would be too much for any former James Bond to handle.

03-31-2006, 11:12 AM	#57
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Poison Isaac V - Brianna and the ex girl friends strike back! I can see it all now, Brianna in the role of Bodaceia, the Celtic warrior queen with 123 other enraged females as her army. Run, Isacc, RUN! Whoops! Too late... BTW, was it the Brit who inflicted Houseman on you, Bri? You should turn in my slangy Americanized explication of the poem just for grins!

03-31-2006, 11:51 AM	#58
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Just off the phone with him. CycleFrance, he's in woolwich-? At UEL, teaching English as a visiting professor. He told me he is fucking two different women there-one in her forty's and one in her fifties. HE TOLD ME. Ah. Well. I hung up the phone after saying a cordial goodbye (we talked for a while after he told me) and then I emailed him this: Don't bother contacting me anymore. By the way--if anyone wants to know who he is, PM me and I'll tell you. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-31-2006, 11:52 AM	#59
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I feel as though I've been punched in the gut. three years of emotional dependence on him. I'm going to go get a bottle. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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