Everything you ever wanted to know about British politics but were afraid to ask...

[Cyclefrance]

With the British government in meltdown (for John Prescott, Deputy Prime Minister, change meltdown to trousers-down), the headlines make interesting reading again. It occured to me, however, that many of you in the US probably know very little about our government (much as we probably know about yours). So here's a little thread in an attempt to change that for you.

If you want to know something about our politicians, who they are, what they get up to, what they should get up to and how we feel about them then ask here.

I hope that some of my British comrade Cellarites will join in - Jaguar, Limey and others.

To bring you up-to-date with all the fun we are having in UK politics at the moment:

1. Charles Clarke, Secretary of State for the Home Office (Prisons, Immigration, Law & Order, Terrorism and all those nice little things) has manged to oversee the 'loss' of up to 1,000 (probably more) foreign hard-line criminals. They should have been deported, but, oops, they got released back into the free world by mistake. Only a half dozen or thereabouts have so far murdered or raped or committed other serious crimes, so still plenty of time to catch the rest and bring them under control - if only anyone knew who they were.....

2. Patricia Hewitt (now nicknamed Patricia Blew-it), Secretary of State for Health keeps telling everyone she meets that our health service has had its best year yet. Hard to get people to listen when there is close to a £1 billion deficit this year, hospitals are closing wards and front-line staff are being dismissed (13,000 expected to go). Poor girl, she can no longer give a speech, she gets boo-ed off the stage by angry doctors and nurses.

3. Last but not least, John Prescott, who has been screwing his secretary. OK it happens, but he really shouldn't have preached about the need for this thing to stop a few years back. Was known as two Jags, because of his cars, but now, predictably known as two shags!


Not to forget the opposition:

David Cameron, new leader of the Conservative/Tory Party is keen to show us his green credentials in this age of global warming. So he cycles to work each day - sadly with his chauffeur driving his Lexus behind carrying a change of clothes. Oh, but he did get a photo taken of him on a glacier to help bring home the point. But sadly he had to fly there and create a few unnecessary extra CO2 emmissions doing so....

Anything else you want to know - just ask. I and my fello Brits will do our best to enlighten, I am sure - maybe not always the exact truth, but British politics will hopefully become a source of entertainment for a change.