How to be happy - Page 4

DanaC · 08-07-2009, 11:49 AM

That does seem a rather arbitrary figure :P

Trilby · 08-07-2009, 11:56 AM

I blame Cloud. (j/k)

onwards and upwards, right?

Cloud · 08-07-2009, 12:01 PM

uh, guys? It was just something to think about. I think we can all stand to be a little happier.

And btw, dumping on this journalist, or anyone else, is probably not the route to happiness.

I don't really think there is one sure route, but I do think more awareness about what's important in life, and development of life skills to deal with the vagaries is worth the effort.

Shawnee123 · 08-07-2009, 12:04 PM

I do that every day, as part of the ongoing process to take control of my life and make it better than it was for years. *shrugs* I don't think calling out bad journalism (or just bad writing) is the road to unhappiness, nor do I think journalists don't expect critique: it comes with the territory.

You post it here it will be commented on. Isn't that the point?

Sundae · 08-07-2009, 12:04 PM

Cloud? You need to own up to the fact you made the ex-Strawberries (King and Queens) unhappy.
That is the route to your happiness.

Go on. You'll feel better once you do.
Say you won't do it again.

Cloud · 08-07-2009, 12:15 PM

(stomps foot) No. If I want to make people unhappy, I'll do it!

Wait . . .

that can't be right!

(mutters: I'm happy! I'm happy, goddammit!)

DanaC · 08-07-2009, 12:25 PM

I agree, Shawnee that it was a clumsy piece. I wold not exactly go to the wall to defend this woman's journalistic talents...

It was the way she (and any unhappiness she may or may not have felt) was dismissed simply because she appears to 'have it all' that struck me somewhat.

Shawnee123 · 08-07-2009, 12:33 PM

And this is true: I haven't walked in her shoes. It just gave me a general feeling of distaste, kind of teenage angst carried on far too long. We choose, or don't choose, happiness...unless we have a mental, or physical, illness that precludes such thought processes.

Anyway, I am happy for the discourse.

Sundae · 08-07-2009, 12:41 PM

And in the same spirit, I forgive Cloud for her error.
She deserves strawberries as much as the next lady. Or man. Or alien.

Aw shoot, let's just send her Captain Jack.

Wait, what did I just write?!
If anyon'e getting the Cap'n it's me!
Then when he's exhausted me, Dani.
Sorry Cloud, but third in line is better than not being in line at all. I'll bathe him before I pass him on.

Cloud · 08-07-2009, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

We choose, or don't choose, happiness

Hmm. I don't think this is necessarily true. Most people are not "present" enough in their own lives (and I know that sounds stupid) to actively choose happiness. Most people just schlub along and wonder why they're not happy.

Of course, WE are not "most people"!

Shawnee123 · 08-07-2009, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

Hmm. I don't think this is necessarily true. Most people are not "present" enough in their own lives (and I know that sounds stupid) to actively choose happiness. Most people just schlub along and wonder why they're not happy.

And this is what I find to be something lacking in "most people." It's usually the schlubbers who complain about not being happy, rather than utilizing a little self-examination to figure out what to do to change it. Also, some people would rather NOT be happy. I will concede that this woman employed some self-examination for herself.

Of course, as I pointed out earlier, I'm fairly darn happy right now so my viewpoint is jaded. I'll check back in a week or so.

Quote:

Of course, WE are not "most people"!

But of course we're not.

DanaC · 08-07-2009, 01:09 PM

Now that I think is probably the most sensible thing that's been posted in this thread thus far. I really do think there's a choice involved in happiness and unhappiness. As a general state, I mean, not in terms of experiencing the day to day effects of the world on you. It's more than just figuring out what's making you unhappy and changing that, it is, I think a decision to be happy, or not.

Obviously, one cannot simply wave a wand and decide not to be depressed...but they are very different things. Though I could not claim to be happy whilst I am affected by depression, and though I regularly am affected by depression, I would still say I am, overall, a happy person. I am not jumping about with glee. I am aware entirely of the dark morass lurking slightly beneath the surface of that overall happiness and am occasionally (usually whilst a bout of depression is creeping in) somewhat worried about what would happen if my little happiness raft did split. So much of it is founded on a present I understand and the future is filled with losses that could capsize me. But I choose to be happy. I chose long ago to jettison guilt and regrets and to try and be less possessive of my pains.

A lot of us do that at some point. We realise we've been carrying round an injured teenager in our heads. A picture of ourselves that is somehow dependant upon the scars we've gathered. It's a choice to let that go sometimes.

Shawnee123 · 08-07-2009, 01:18 PM

Quote:

A lot of us do that at some point. We realise we've been carrying round an injured teenager in our heads. A picture of ourselves that is somehow dependant upon the scars we've gathered. It's a choice to let that go sometimes.

Yes!

Cloud · 08-07-2009, 01:21 PM

depression is far different from unhappiness, though. Not only can one not choose to be depressed, often one can't even choose to get help.

I do think many people dwell to much on bad things that have happened to them in the past; crappy childhoods, etc. So, your dad beat you. So someone fondled you when you were little. Get over it. Look forward not backward!

DanaC · 08-07-2009, 01:34 PM

Oh quite. It has a nasty habit of rendering you incapable of doing the things that might help.

08-07-2009, 11:56 AM	#47
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I blame Cloud. (j/k) onwards and upwards, right? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-07-2009, 12:01 PM	#48
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	uh, guys? It was just something to think about. I think we can all stand to be a little happier. And btw, dumping on this journalist, or anyone else, is probably not the route to happiness. I don't really think there is one sure route, but I do think more awareness about what's important in life, and development of life skills to deal with the vagaries is worth the effort. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

08-07-2009, 12:04 PM	#49
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I do that every day, as part of the ongoing process to take control of my life and make it better than it was for years. shrugs I don't think calling out bad journalism (or just bad writing) is the road to unhappiness, nor do I think journalists don't expect critique: it comes with the territory. You post it here it will be commented on. Isn't that the point? __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-07-2009, 12:04 PM	#50
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Cloud? You need to own up to the fact you made the ex-Strawberries (King and Queens) unhappy. That is the route to your happiness. Go on. You'll feel better once you do. Say you won't do it again. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-07-2009, 12:15 PM	#51
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	(stomps foot) No. If I want to make people unhappy, I'll do it! Wait . . . that can't be right! (mutters: I'm happy! I'm happy, goddammit!) __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

08-07-2009, 12:33 PM	#53
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	And this is true: I haven't walked in her shoes. It just gave me a general feeling of distaste, kind of teenage angst carried on far too long. We choose, or don't choose, happiness...unless we have a mental, or physical, illness that precludes such thought processes. Anyway, I am happy for the discourse. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-07-2009, 12:41 PM	#54
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	And in the same spirit, I forgive Cloud for her error. She deserves strawberries as much as the next lady. Or man. Or alien. Aw shoot, let's just send her Captain Jack. Wait, what did I just write?! If anyon'e getting the Cap'n it's me! Then when he's exhausted me, Dani. Sorry Cloud, but third in line is better than not being in line at all. I'll bathe him before I pass him on. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-07-2009, 01:21 PM	#59
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	depression is far different from unhappiness, though. Not only can one not choose to be depressed, often one can't even choose to get help. I do think many people dwell to much on bad things that have happened to them in the past; crappy childhoods, etc. So, your dad beat you. So someone fondled you when you were little. Get over it. Look forward not backward! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

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