Abusive boyfriend... - Page 4

Stormieweather · 04-18-2011, 09:21 PM

Sketcher sneakers are very expensive for a poor person.

Why the demand for PM's?

pensive pam · 04-18-2011, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stormieweather

Sketcher sneakers are very expensive for a poor person.

Why the demand for PM's?

The sneakers were an Xmas gift. I have not demanded any PM's (e
mail on here?), I am just very upset. Pills...alcohol...depression...

I know I am not normal, so I guess I fit into the lifestyle of NYC. I embrace it. One day I woke up, and I knew I would never be normal again; so I live that life.

2 years ago, I wrote a suicide note, ... yet I am still alive. I am going to have another glass of wine. I am truly messed up. I know that...
But thank you for your response... Love - Pam.

plthijinx · 04-18-2011, 10:24 PM

drugs+alcohol+abuse=oil and water. they do not mix.

everyone here in this forum knows what i've been through in the last 5 or so years. pay very close attention to what i am about to post. don't walk. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. that is solid advice right there. find a shelter if you have no where else to go. or a friend. or somebody. anywhere he can't find you. i know from first hand experience. i know i've posted some if not most of what happened to me somewhere here but i'll put it in a nutshell. i was in a mental, verbal and physical abuse relationship. the woman i was dating, hereafter known as crazy bitch, was, well, Crazy. she was an ex-meth head (so she said), alcoholic and pill popper. she would talk me down. way down. beat me when she didn't get the rise out of me she wanted or even worse, call the cops on me and say i beat her when i didn't do what she wanted. i should have run from this woman. i didn't. i blamed my lackadaisical attitude towards her as love. pfft. whatev. all my friends saw it. the two cellarites that met her saw it. even strangers saw it. my answer to why i was with her when they questioned me? "oh, you don't know her like i do." boy was i wrong. she completely RUINED my life. i am still to this day trying to recover. you see she went a little too far with the police calls and i wound up in prison because of lies. went to the penitentiary for crimes i did not commit. run woman. get out. do what it takes. but get away from this dude and your mental state will heal with time. love my ass. you think you love him. you don't. trust me. i know.

that's my

pensive pam · 04-18-2011, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

drugs+alcohol+abuse=oil and water. they do not mix.

everyone here in this forum knows what i've been through in the last 5 or so years. pay very close attention to what i am about to post. don't walk. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. that is solid advice right there. find a shelter if you have no where else to go. or a friend. or somebody. anywhere he can't find you. i know from first hand experience. i know i've posted some if not most of what happened to me somewhere here but i'll put it in a nutshell. i was in a mental, verbal and physical abuse relationship. the woman i was dating, hereafter known as crazy bitch, was, well, Crazy. she was an ex-meth head (so she said), alcoholic and pill popper. she would talk me down. way down. beat me when she didn't get the rise out of me she wanted or even worse, call the cops on me and say i beat her when i didn't do what she wanted. i should have run from this woman. i didn't. i blamed my lackadaisical attitude towards her as love. pfft. whatev. all my friends saw it. the two cellarites that met her saw it. even strangers saw it. my answer to why i was with her when they questioned me? "oh, you don't know her like i do." boy was i wrong. she completely RUINED my life. i am still to this day trying to recover. you see she went a little too far with the police calls and i wound up in prison because of lies. went to the penitentiary for crimes i did not commit. run woman. get out. do what it takes. but get away from this dude and your mental state will heal with time. love my ass. you think you love him. you don't. trust me. i know.

that's my

I appreciate your kind words. Some may say I have a defeatist attitude; although I call it realism. There are days I just want to die.
I really don't care about myself anymore. I eat in order to survive; if I died, it woud kill my parents. Everyday is filled with despair. I see so many happy couples, yet I know I can never have that happiness. It will never happen for me. At times I just want to tip over and die. Nobody cares, but I do. Did you know that I gave my winter coat to a homeless person?? At times, like now, I just want to fade away...
Always - Pam

pensive pam · 04-18-2011, 10:46 PM

And now that no one seems to want to help me, perhaps I should just 'off' myself...jump in front of the 4 train. That was always my favorite train. But then again, I fear (since I fail at everything), that I will not end up dead, ... but end up maimed for life ... or paralyzed...
I just want to die. Time for more wine... cheers.

Goodbye...

Pam.

monster · 04-18-2011, 11:27 PM

Oh, oh, Where are we?
Looks like we're on Safari!

plthijinx · 04-18-2011, 11:55 PM

wtf? really? you do know that there are other alternatives. suicide is the straight ticket to hell. life tribulations are Gods way of testing your inner soul. sit up straight, smile, and know that you are good. ffs. do it. handle it. things do get better.

monnie, maybe but lets see first....

pensive pam · 04-19-2011, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

wtf? really? you do know that there are other alternatives. suicide is the straight ticket to hell. life tribulations are Gods way of testing your inner soul. sit up straight, smile, and know that you are good. ffs. do it. handle it. things do get better.

monnie, maybe but lets see first....

Faith??? Is that going to be your argument now?? There is no God. I don't care about myself anymore...the only reason I am responding is because I cannot sleep...

Nobody cares, and the world is a cold place. And personally, I don't want to be here anymore. Are you satisfied?? I am going to do it...

Goodbye...Pam.

plthijinx · 04-19-2011, 12:03 AM

faith is what you have in the heart. obviously you have given up. there is more to life than being abused in whatever fashion. i'm being a hard ass in hopes to get you to get away from said abusive dude. i know. prison. been there. that's what it took to get away from crazy bitch. wake up. sit up. i'm sure you're a good person. things do get better hun. trust me.

pensive pam · 04-19-2011, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

faith is what you have in the heart. obviously you have given up. there is more to life than being abused in whatever fashion. i'm being a hard ass in hopes to get you to get away from said abusive dude. i know. prison. been there. that's what it took to get away from crazy bitch. wake up. sit up. i'm sure you're a good person. things do get better hun. trust me.

How are things going to get better for me??? They never will. Maybe for you, but not for me. I already know that. I just want to die. And sometimes, I cut myself, on my arm, just to know that I am alive...and am at least feeling something...hurt and pain.

Nobody will ever love me. I just want to die.

plthijinx · 04-19-2011, 12:18 AM

really?? are you fucking kidding me? you're 22 or whatever. i'm 41. been through way more bullshit than you will ever know. listen to me here. things DO get better. i spent 33 months in prison for something i did not do. get rid of the dude and get on with it.

plthijinx · 04-19-2011, 12:24 AM

btw i tell it like i see it. shape up. get rid of the dude and move on. trust me. things do get better. your deaf. big deal. i'm half deaf from flying airplanes and loud music. i'm not in a debate with you. either get it or gtfo.

pensive pam · 04-19-2011, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

really?? are you fucking kidding me? you're 22 or whatever. i'm 41. been through way more bullshit than you will ever know. listen to me here. things DO get better. i spent 33 months in prison for something i did not do. get rid of the dude and get on with it.

What did you get sent to prison for? may I ask? That sounds very horrible. That is very bad. I am having wine...and thinking about 'offing' myself... I am such a failure. - Pam.

plthijinx · 04-19-2011, 12:28 AM

i got sent to prison for domestic abuse. aggravated assault that i did not do. two counts.

pensive pam · 04-19-2011, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

i got sent to prison for domestic abuse. aggravated assault that i did not do. two counts.

I wish you the best. I have been met with great adversity on this site, even though I have only been here for a day. It is very sad...

I am glad that you did not do it. My life is finished. It's over, and I know that. A flower can not blossom without Sunshine, and the Sun never shines on my side of the street...

Wishing you the best - Pam.

04-18-2011, 09:21 PM	#46
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	Sketcher sneakers are very expensive for a poor person. Why the demand for PM's? __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

04-18-2011, 10:24 PM	#48
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	drugs+alcohol+abuse=oil and water. they do not mix. everyone here in this forum knows what i've been through in the last 5 or so years. pay very close attention to what i am about to post. don't walk. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. that is solid advice right there. find a shelter if you have no where else to go. or a friend. or somebody. anywhere he can't find you. i know from first hand experience. i know i've posted some if not most of what happened to me somewhere here but i'll put it in a nutshell. i was in a mental, verbal and physical abuse relationship. the woman i was dating, hereafter known as crazy bitch, was, well, Crazy. she was an ex-meth head (so she said), alcoholic and pill popper. she would talk me down. way down. beat me when she didn't get the rise out of me she wanted or even worse, call the cops on me and say i beat her when i didn't do what she wanted. i should have run from this woman. i didn't. i blamed my lackadaisical attitude towards her as love. pfft. whatev. all my friends saw it. the two cellarites that met her saw it. even strangers saw it. my answer to why i was with her when they questioned me? "oh, you don't know her like i do." boy was i wrong. she completely RUINED my life. i am still to this day trying to recover. you see she went a little too far with the police calls and i wound up in prison because of lies. went to the penitentiary for crimes i did not commit. run woman. get out. do what it takes. but get away from this dude and your mental state will heal with time. love my ass. you think you love him. you don't. trust me. i know. that's my __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

04-18-2011, 11:27 PM	#51
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Oh, oh, Where are we? Looks like we're on Safari! __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-18-2011, 11:55 PM	#52
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	wtf? really? you do know that there are other alternatives. suicide is the straight ticket to hell. life tribulations are Gods way of testing your inner soul. sit up straight, smile, and know that you are good. ffs. do it. handle it. things do get better. monnie, maybe but lets see first.... __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

04-19-2011, 12:03 AM	#54
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	faith is what you have in the heart. obviously you have given up. there is more to life than being abused in whatever fashion. i'm being a hard ass in hopes to get you to get away from said abusive dude. i know. prison. been there. that's what it took to get away from crazy bitch. wake up. sit up. i'm sure you're a good person. things do get better hun. trust me. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

04-18-2011, 10:46 PM	#50
pensive pam Banned Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Far away... Posts: 538	And now that no one seems to want to help me, perhaps I should just 'off' myself...jump in front of the 4 train. That was always my favorite train. But then again, I fear (since I fail at everything), that I will not end up dead, ... but end up maimed for life ... or paralyzed... I just want to die. Time for more wine... cheers. Goodbye... Pam.

04-19-2011, 12:18 AM	#56
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	really?? are you fucking kidding me? you're 22 or whatever. i'm 41. been through way more bullshit than you will ever know. listen to me here. things DO get better. i spent 33 months in prison for something i did not do. get rid of the dude and get on with it. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

04-19-2011, 12:24 AM	#57
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	btw i tell it like i see it. shape up. get rid of the dude and move on. trust me. things do get better. your deaf. big deal. i'm half deaf from flying airplanes and loud music. i'm not in a debate with you. either get it or gtfo. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

04-19-2011, 12:28 AM	#59
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	i got sent to prison for domestic abuse. aggravated assault that i did not do. two counts. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

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