Narcissistic Personality Disorder (a novella, sorry)

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

If you know you have a personality disorder, I think you are a little ahead of the game. Regardless of whether you can do anything about it without therapy.

Sure, you're ahead of the game knowing whom you insulted/annoyed/pissed off. You can avoid them, or watch your back, if nothing else.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

I don't think NPD guy realizes his situation.

That's a scary thought. So how can any of us know if we have NPD? Maybe I have NPD and don't realize it. But by asking that question, am I demonstrating that I don't have NPD?

Also, how can somebody with NPD get into a position of power? Who gave him the boss job and why? Surely they knew he was a tool?

[lumberjim]

What if you were an unmitigated success as an NPD personality. Alec Baldwin. David Hasselhoff. Are they happy?

[Undertoad]

It is scary - it's almost like - if there was a thread like this about you, would you read it? Wouldn't it be both devastating and the most helpful thing ever?

~

His young dream was to become James Bond of America, but was turned down by the Secret Service (but not before buying his own Walther PPK, because that's what you do)

He was unsuccessful in the real world for a while (with anger management issues)

But he then went to work for his dad, and was successful at sales. Sales is where a lot of these cats will end up, because that's where it works: they are extremely confident, which is attractive in a salesperson. And they are able to flat-out lie, or play chess games when necessary. The parent company bought their sales company when they wanted a US sales office.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by glatt

But by asking that question, am I demonstrating that I don't have NPD?

It shows you care, which is probably a good indication you don't.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

...(but not before buying his own Walther PPK, because that's what you do)

Shows he was completely out of touch with reality, and probably would instead of taking a bullet for the prez, would choose someone else to.

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by glatt

...
Also, how can somebody with NPD get into a position of power?
Who gave him the boss job and why? Surely they knew he was a tool?

OK - Do NOT take me too seriously here, but... it's largely power and point of view...

First, pretend for the moment you are a young Black American male.
Got it ? ... but instead of just one year, think of a lifetime

Now, read the bullet points defining NPD in UT's OP here

Who comes to mind ?

.

[glatt]

I'm not sure where you are trying to lead me? Is it a cops thing?

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by glatt

I'm not sure where you are trying to lead me? Is it a cops thing?

NPD may be a legitimate diagnosis of a mental defect, I don't know.

But it doesn't surprise me that a simple change in POV engendered the "cop thing".
It was just a simple way to show "...it's largely power and point of view"

To present certain behaviors as a specific "defect" distorts the continuum of power we all see daily,
and which becomes less bearable the further down we are on a given power-scale.

[it]

Originally Posted by glatt

That's a scary thought. So how can any of us know if we have NPD? Maybe I have NPD and don't realize it.

You can actually just go to a good psychiatrist.

I am serious btw. Some of them just try to subscribe meds, but others are extremely cautious and will look for a more complete diagnosis. It was one of the things she tested me for - among many others - through a series of sessions, though without me knowing until after the fact. If you'll ask once she has done her summary and if she is willing to give you the time and explain things - what various conditions and causes she looked for and what canceled them out - you wont only come out knowing what you do have, you'll also come out knowing a bunch of what you probably don't.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by traceur

You can actually just go to a good psychiatrist.

Sadly, I've never met one.
There was the one who told me I wasn't depressed, but beyond that (in our only-ever and five minute appointment) told me nothing else.

There was the one who didn't want me to spend Christmas with my family last year, despite the fact he'd never met me before and I certainly had not indicated that there was an issue with my family apart from me missing them.

And there was the one who gave me my official diagnosis on the basis of two (lucky me - TWO this time!) meetings. Then despite one of my issues being a problem with dealing with any kind of change except the jingly sort, told me I was leaving the nuthouse that day. I don't expect everyone to understand my problems, and I don't really expect people to make allowances for them. But the one place where you'd hope for a little understanding of mental health is a mental health facility.

[Undertoad]

Drift away sir, I don't know that I have much more to say about NPD guy.

[lumberjim]

They do have tests that will tell you if you're NPD. I took one. Jinx had me pretty convinced that I was AFU.... and maybe I am... but I don't have NPD. I hit a couple points on that list in the OP, but not enough to be diagnosed as damaged. And I'm actually a pretty nice person. I DO have empathy. Sometimes I don't have much Sympathy... but that's because people are assholes.

[Lamplighter]

Just for a few seconds diversion...

[it]

glatt - by jewography laws I am guessing you are probably related to quite a few people around here, one way or another.

If you ever have a trip planned that includes staying in the north of Israel long enough (You could just make it condensed daily sessions - that's what I did), I can look up her contact information.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

They do have tests that will tell you if you're NPD. I took one. Jinx had me pretty convinced that I was AFU.... and maybe I am... but I don't have NPD. I hit a couple points on that list in the OP, but not enough to be diagnosed as damaged. And I'm actually a pretty nice person. I DO have empathy. Sometimes I don't have much Sympathy... but that's because people are assholes.

You mean online tests?

From those I've seen they don't test for narcissism the personality disorder, they test for narcissism the fictionalized trope.

The problem is that those are not the same thing. People with NPD can be narcissistic - it is a possible indication because it's a great strategy for gaining narcissistic supply - but they are just as likely to be covert narcissists, or even be neither but still have narcissistic injury, be incapable of seen themselves and act on narcissistic rage when something in life indirectly suggests the narcissistic injury could be true. On the other hand, you can also just be an arrogant asshole without having any of those.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by traceur

glatt - by jewography laws I am guessing you are probably related to quite a few people around here, one way or another.

If you ever have a trip planned that includes staying in the north of Israel long enough (You could just make it condensed daily sessions - that's what I did), I can look up her contact information.

Thanks! I don't foresee any trips to Israel soon. Not that I'm opposed to the idea, it's just not anything that I've ever seriously considered.

My handle, by the way, comes from an old nickname that's a play on my real name. It wasn't until years after I got this nickname that I learned that it's also a Jewish thing. I'm not Jewish.