Can I be Nearly as Interesting as Slang?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Warch is right.......as usual.

Our plant had a system where if I was being laid off I could choose the “labor pool” as an option to going out the door. The 50 or so highest seniority people that chose the “labor pool” would stay in the plant. Lowest pay grade, mostly 2nd shift, doing mostly maintenance (read janitor), or things like re-labeling parts coming out of the paint shop.

The reason for the “labor pool” was if they needed help in one or more of the shops due to poor planning or sudden customer demands, I was already in the plant with my tools and I knew the ropes. In 8 hrs they could have me where they needed help, ready to work.

In industrial setting's the men’s toilets are usually called the “shithouse” for a very good reason and not the most pleasant ambiance. Cleaning them means spending enough time in there to be considered cruel and unusual treatment by my nose. I figured if I had to be there I’d make it as pleasant as possible, so I scrubbed and sterilized places people don’t even know exist. Having been a plumber I knew things could be worse.

It’s funny how people you work with a month before look down their noses when you’re doing that work. Some would say, “Oh yeah, I was in the labor pool back in....”, but most avoid eye contact and hustle away. But after a couple weeks I started overhearing things like, “It don’t stink no more” or “It ain’t never been THIS clean.” Strangely, after a few weeks, when I’d come in at the start of my shift there would be less paper towels on the floor, less soap on the wall and mirrors and less general filth.

So even if you’re cleaning “shithouses”, if you do a good job it’s noticed and appreciated.

[Elspode]

In my "real" job, I'm a manager, and have long known the worth of a good job done, and positive reinforcement given out. In particular, my current job seems to require it as a means of self defense, but I've told those stories before.

[flippant]

Originally Posted by OnyxCougar

FLippant?? What are you smoking, dude?

If you had just done what I did...and pulled it off........you'd laugh yourself to pieces. We'll call it a prank gone too good. Don't call me dude. And no I don't have any.

[Elspode]

Last week, I worked on Monday night, and made my best take so far. Last night, without a Monday Night Football home game for the Chiefs (Home of the Swiss Chiefs Defense!), it was utterly futile. I only worked for 3 hours, had only four deliveries, and made $8 in tips. I checked my mileage, and I calculate that the $1 per run they pay me covers my gas expense +25%, based on my MPG.

Mrs. Elspode commented that it was hardly worth the time spent to make so little money. I made just over $8.00/Hr. once expenses are removed, so I don't know...at least I was keeping a positive flow of money, little though it was. Even if this was all I made three days per week, I would still bring in close to $250.00 more per month than we have now. That's enough to pay a couple of bills, right?

I can't bring myself to consider what I'm doing to be in any way futile, no matter how little it earns. Working this part time job impacts my most treasured personal commodity (free time), and has caused my many projects to be put on hold indefinitely. Therfore, I really *need* to view it as a positive contribution, lest I go screaming into the night and developing untreatable depression.

It was drizzly again last night. It has been *very* grey and drizzly here for about the last six weeks. In fact, it has drizzled, rained, fogged or otherwise dampened me on every single delivery night I've worked. Even the comraderie of the storefront seemed pretty dampened and low-key last night. There was very little joking around, everyone being quite serious about what they were doing. The Captain was totally efficient, using a minimum of words and expression as he directed the crew. Merle was cheerful, but mostly gone on deliveries all night, so I didn't get much out of him either. I'm going to consider this a blessing, at least until such time as I begin to get comfortable enough to be bored. The younger guy (whose name is Robbie, BTW) was similarly on the run all night (full time guys get kept busier than part timers like myself), pausing only once to comment on his anticipated paid vacation in the coming year.

I put in quite a bit of time pulling pizzas from the oven ("Hot pie!"), cutting them and boxing them up last night. You wouldn't think that cutting pizzas would be real tough, and in fact, cutting an eight-slice isn't. But - there's something unnatural about doing a ten-slice cut. The 5x5 symmetry required just doesn't ring true in my mind; I can't visualize it before I cut it. The result was four rather creatively cut pies, with geometries and areas of individual slices varying radically. I could only hope that those pies found their way to individuals with good senses of humor.

My "Happy Chore" was stocking the pop cooler. I want this to be my Happy Chore forever, please. Nice and clean, and not much to do on a slow night. Most people don't get soda with their orders, and I didn't break a sweat.

On the positive side, all four of my deliveries were on time! This is a first. Each of my other nights, all but one pizza were late. I chalk my success up to many factors. First, I didn't have any multiple deliveries. Second, I actually have gotten much better at locating addresses. Third, when it is less busy, the turnaround time on the pies is much, much shorter, leaving me more time to effect delivery. The map book and mega-light have also been invaluable additions to my routing.

I'm going to work all weekend this week. I hate the thought of it, but I've got to bite the bullet. Yule is just around the corner.

Originally Posted by Elspode

Mrs. Elspode commented that it was hardly worth the time spent to make so little money. I made just over $8.00/Hr. once expenses are removed, so I don't know...at least I was keeping a positive flow of money, little though it was. Even if this was all I made three days per week, I would still bring in close to $250.00 more per month than we have now. That's enough to pay a couple of bills, right?

I can't bring myself to consider what I'm doing to be in any way futile, no matter how little it earns. Working this part time job impacts my most treasured personal commodity (free time), and has caused my many projects to be put on hold indefinitely. Therfore, I really *need* to view it as a positive contribution, lest I go screaming into the night and developing untreatable depression.

I'm going to work all weekend this week. I hate the thought of it, but I've got to bite the bullet. Yule is just around the corner.

Oh, Patrick, I am SO there! As usual you took the words right out of my mouth. I try not to think about how little money I'm really making. Instead, I think about the checks that should soon be coming in, netting me about $350.00 after gas, etc. It's not much, but I need it desperately, so I try to keep my spirits up by playing Loreena Mckennett on my boom box and singing along and telling myself that by this time next year I will be a paid writer and I'll never ever again have to deliver another phone book. Drive carefully out there. Colorado's last snow storm must be hitting you guys about now.

[wolf]

Have you guys considered being a barrista at the Barnes and Noble, or even *shudder* Staryucks?? Lame ass tips and minimum wage, but it's indoor work ...

[Elspode]

Too wonky. Delivering pizza is honest work, and I'm not trapped in a building full of stuff that I lust for and cannot afford to buy.

I applied at Barnes and Noble but never heard back from them. Same old song - too old, over-qualified, and hole in my work history. Plus in my case, I'm in this "all or nothing" situation. It's very important that I continue with my medical treatment, but if I earn more than $200 a month, I will be dropped off SSDI and have no medical insurance. Most minimum wage jobs don't offer medical benefits, so I have to make the jump into a "real" job again. Anything less will only hurt me more than help.

[Elspode]

My son has to deal with that. Earn too little and starve to death in the cold. Earn too much and starve to death in the cold.

[lookout123]

Originally Posted by marichiko

Most minimum wage jobs don't offer medical benefits, so I have to make the jump into a "real" job again. Anything less will only hurt me more than help.

Starbucks and American foodstores* do.

*Jewel
Albertson's


Hey Patrick - when do you work again? I really appreciate the humor you inject into what must be a stressful situation for you. i hope the rain clouds move off your doorstep soon.

[Elspode]

Tonight, actually. Just got home a bit ago.

I'm starting to see the rhythms of the place. Obviously, dinnertime is crunch time, so when I walk in the door around 6:00, the joint is rockin'. Twenty bucks for change-making is stuffed into my hands, and I'm "routed" almost immediately. That's fine by me, because the more time I spend delivering, the less time I spend standing next to the evil Baal of a pizza oven, folding up boxes. Oh...and I'm also making more than minimum wage.

There was a whole boatload of drivers tonight, so the pickings were slimmer than I would have liked. Once 8:00 hit, things died totally, but I squeezed one more double run out of it. One of those runs was a no-charge delivery to a woman who had bullied the manager into a free pizza for some reason unknown to me. That delivery was in the lowest-rent part of Lee's Summit, a sea of fourplexes that are pretty much held together by the most recent coat of paint slapped on them. You know the kind of place...crackerboxes meant to generate income for landlords who would sooner have surgery without anaesthesia than to have to fix a dripping faucet or rebuild a deteriorating staircase.

Apparently, when they painted them the last time, they neglected to replace the frigging addresses, because I could *not* find this place. I finally used the last-resort technique of calling the customer (on my own cellphone...I am constantly impressed at the cleverness of the people who thought up the criteria for pizza deliveries - any worse, and I'd be paying *them* for the privilege). The call was illuminating, not only due to my being apprised of how to find the right apartment, but because the background noise explained to me *why* the woman who called the pizza in was such a bitch. It was because she lived in a rotting fourplex with three kids whose only method of communication with their mother was by screaming at her, she apparently having recently emerged from her rust and dent ravaged 1980-something Mustang parked in the street. I'd be a bitch, too, if that were my lot. In the end, Grandma (who was babysitting the wild beasts...er, children) stood outside and flagged me down as I drove slowly by.

Lee's Summit is quadrasected by two major highways; US 50 running essentially East-West, and Missouri 291 doing the North-South chores. Any of you who live in a suburb similarly divided will be familiar with the hodgepodge constructs that are produced by such an arrangement. Businesses cluster along the highway itself; set back from this is often a layer of light to medium industry. Get back several blocks, and suburbia begins. There is, of course, some variation to this theme, but you get the idea. My store is fronted right on 291, about a half-mile from that highway's intersection with 50. Therefore, I can get pretty quickly to any part of the city. Whoever picked the site did well. Consequently, in the course of my runs, I see a little bit of everything that this little slice of the Midwest has to offer.

One of my frequent routes takes me through the light-industry/Home Depot layer near 50 Highway as I make my way back to a residential area. Located in this industretail area is an anomalous piece of artwork. I'm sure most of you Cellarites are familiar with the "fiberglass critters decorated for a good cause" thing that has spread across the nation these past few years. Cows, bears, and Mickey Mice are decorated, displayed for a period of time, and then finally sold to benefit some charity or other. The KC Metro has been through all of these manifestations, and one of those products has found its way to a curb that I pass frequently. The artwork in question is a bear that has been decorated like an orange and white striped safety barrel, arm raised and holding a warning sign in its paw. It reflects quite brightly as I approach it, and it is altogether distracting. It is sited in front of a gymnastics studio which is in turn located next door to what looks like a warehouse of some sort. I don't know if the reflective fiberglas bruin is a permanent feature, or if his presence has something to do with the relative state of incompleteness and ongoing construction in the area, but it does qualify as "something different".

The Captain was a lot more jolly this evening. Sometimes he seems like a self-important Manager type, and sometimes he seems just a goofy kid. Tonight, he was the latter, as we discussed various computer geek things and how those things related to the obtaining and playing of games at no charge. Merle had started us on this conversational path by mentioning that his computer had been seized by a piece of evil spyware, and we were trying to explain to him what to do. I think I see a visit to Merle's crackerbox fourplex some evening soon. Robbie the goofy kid driver has paired off with a 17ish year old order girl. They make a cute enough couple, although she is almost dwarfishly short. She tried to con me into swapping "Happy Chores" (can you believe someone named all the scummy work "Happy Chores"? Sheesh) with her, but fortunately someone else stepped up and did it for her while I was on a run. I got to stock the pop cooler again. This is rapidly becoming my favorite non-delivery task as it is quite clean and very, very easy. Rufus was his usual killer self...I don't think the place could function without this guy, so excellent is he at what he does. In fact, I think every place like this needs at least one person like him.

My fellow workers were in a bit of a tizzy tonight. It seems that the printer which spits out our order/delivery summaries was toast, and it made the preparation for our runs rather cumbersome. I found myself writing down the pertinent info on the colorful box ads that we have to stick on with glue pens before the folding commences. Needless to say, the technological failure did not enhance our speed, accuracy or attitudes. In fact, I hosed the disagreeable woman who got the free pizza because of it...I forgot to give her the 2 liter she was supposed to get. So I brought it home and gave it to the kids.

And so it goes.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Does the cast of characters know they are being immortalized (immoralized ) in this thread?

[wolf]

Probably much like slang's cow orkers at the shitjob, these folks would have a hard time operating a computer and reading what came up on the screen if they blundered into it accidentally.

There aren't enough pictures for them.

Speaking of which ... any chance you can get a shot of the warning bear, Els?

[lookout123]

cow orkers

is that what you call a practitioner of bestiality?

[wolf]

Actually, it's a little something that I adopted from vsp, whom I first noted to use this many years ago.

I thought it was funny.

It stuck.