Tasteless Jokes - Page 40

footfootfoot · 03-08-2012, 11:15 AM

From http://anti-joke.com/

What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor?

Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Blueflare · 03-08-2012, 11:24 AM

I laughed at this. I think I'm going to Hell.

Spexxvet · 03-08-2012, 11:29 AM

What's worse than being pushed out a 10th story window?

Catching your eye on a nail on the way down.

Clodfobble · 03-09-2012, 01:29 PM

What did Helen Keller's parents get her for Christmas?

Nothing, because she couldn't play with anything anyway.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They beat her with sticks.

Spexxvet · 03-09-2012, 01:32 PM

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

UncaDollas · 03-09-2012, 10:33 PM

Gravdigr · 03-22-2012, 04:01 PM

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glatt · 03-22-2012, 04:25 PM

ouch.

That is tasteless.

GunMaster357 · 03-22-2012, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

From http://anti-joke.com/

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

Not funny. I prefer this one :

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple after taking a bite.

footfootfoot · 03-22-2012, 07:00 PM

May be something lost in translation. The joke you cited is the original joke. Anti-joke is a site where well known jokes are re-told with the usual setup, (what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?) but with an un-funny and un-expected or ironic punchline.

In otherwords it's supposed to be not funny.

What can I say? Remeber we're the people who gave you Jerry Lewis.

DanaC · 03-22-2012, 07:21 PM

Reminds me of:

GunMaster357 · 03-23-2012, 06:26 PM

My mistake then. I thought it was supposed to be funny.

footfootfoot · 03-23-2012, 06:41 PM

How about:

Two Corsicans are sleeping in a tree and the one in the lower branches calls up to the one in the upper branches and asks, "Hey, man. Do me a favor; look down here and tell me if my zipper is open."

The one above says, "Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep."

The first one says again, "Come on, man. Just look down and tell me if my zipper is open."

"No, fuck off; I'm sleeping."

The first one says with resignation, "Fuck it, I'll wait until tomorrow to pee."

I heard that joke in the 18th Arrondissement of Paris, in 1983. I got it, but the impact was lost on me as I really knew nothing at all about Corsicans or how they were perceived by the French.

Sometimes humor is like wine in that it doesn't travel well.

infinite monkey · 03-23-2012, 07:00 PM

My favorite joke is the one about the elephant. I've had people look at me with completely vacant expressions on their faces...thinking I'm not done.

I've had people look at me quizzically, then bust out laughing.

I've had people get it right away.

I've had people who think it isn't even remotely funny.

A friend at my defunct club used to make me tell everyone. It's a joke you really need to be in the right frame of mind to tell. But I love telling it, there's a lot of visual to add. He made me tell his wife one time and he told me later she asked him later that evening "is it funny because elephants aren't from india, they're from africa?"

It's just the best joke ever. Well, except for: why did the spider cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken. That is sort of the William Carlos Williams' "Red Wheelbarrow' of jokes, in its simplicity.

GunMaster357 · 03-23-2012, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

How about:

Two Corsicans are sleeping in a tree and the one in the lower branches calls up to the one in the upper branches and asks, "Hey, man. Do me a favor; look down here and tell me if my zipper is open."

The one above says, "Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep."

The first one says again, "Come on, man. Just look down and tell me if my zipper is open."

"No, fuck off; I'm sleeping."

The first one says with resignation, "Fuck it, I'll wait until tomorrow to pee."

I heard that joke in the 18th Arrondissement of Paris, in 1983. I got it, but the impact was lost on me as I really knew nothing at all about Corsicans or how they were perceived by the French.

Sometimes humor is like wine in that it doesn't travel well.

To continental French, Corsicans are renowned for their lazyness, their cheese (really smelly though I've known worse) and their bombs (they want their autonomy)

03-08-2012, 11:15 AM	#586
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	From http://anti-joke.com/ What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized. §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§ What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-08-2012, 11:24 AM	#587
Blueflare Hand-of-Kindness Extender Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Suffolk, UK Posts: 130	I laughed at this. I think I'm going to Hell. __________________ "Never trust quotes you find on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln

03-08-2012, 11:29 AM	#588
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	What's worse than being pushed out a 10th story window? Catching your eye on a nail on the way down. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

03-09-2012, 01:29 PM	#589
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	What did Helen Keller's parents get her for Christmas? Nothing, because she couldn't play with anything anyway. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her with sticks. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

03-09-2012, 01:32 PM	#590
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you could read her lips. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

03-09-2012, 10:33 PM	#591
UncaDollas Banned Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 72

03-22-2012, 04:01 PM	#592
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

03-22-2012, 04:25 PM	#593
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	ouch. That is tasteless.

03-22-2012, 07:00 PM	#595
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	May be something lost in translation. The joke you cited is the original joke. Anti-joke is a site where well known jokes are re-told with the usual setup, (what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?) but with an un-funny and un-expected or ironic punchline. In otherwords it's supposed to be not funny. What can I say? Remeber we're the people who gave you Jerry Lewis. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-23-2012, 06:26 PM	#597
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	My mistake then. I thought it was supposed to be funny. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

03-23-2012, 06:41 PM	#598
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	How about: Two Corsicans are sleeping in a tree and the one in the lower branches calls up to the one in the upper branches and asks, "Hey, man. Do me a favor; look down here and tell me if my zipper is open." The one above says, "Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep." The first one says again, "Come on, man. Just look down and tell me if my zipper is open." "No, fuck off; I'm sleeping." The first one says with resignation, "Fuck it, I'll wait until tomorrow to pee." I heard that joke in the 18th Arrondissement of Paris, in 1983. I got it, but the impact was lost on me as I really knew nothing at all about Corsicans or how they were perceived by the French. Sometimes humor is like wine in that it doesn't travel well. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-23-2012, 07:00 PM	#599
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	My favorite joke is the one about the elephant. I've had people look at me with completely vacant expressions on their faces...thinking I'm not done. I've had people look at me quizzically, then bust out laughing. I've had people get it right away. I've had people who think it isn't even remotely funny. A friend at my defunct club used to make me tell everyone. It's a joke you really need to be in the right frame of mind to tell. But I love telling it, there's a lot of visual to add. He made me tell his wife one time and he told me later she asked him later that evening "is it funny because elephants aren't from india, they're from africa?" It's just the best joke ever. Well, except for: why did the spider cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken. That is sort of the William Carlos Williams' "Red Wheelbarrow' of jokes, in its simplicity.

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