What's mildly amusing you today?

[Griff]

He reads likes he's in his thirties but the photo talk has me thinking he is late fifties.

[footfootfoot]

Just turned 62

[Clodfobble]

63

[sexobon]

Thanks for participating; alas, no one guessed it. Please try again next year.

Originally Posted by Griff

He reads likes he's in his thirties but the photo talk has me thinking he is late fifties.

A combination of being young at heart and blending with a younger crowd because IRL no one thinks that I look my age either.

[casimendocina]

On asking someone today what their job was, they answered "I am a seaman." ... one fun part of what was an essentially crap day.

[Clodfobble]

This is more than mildly amusing, this is cracking me up to be honest, but there's no "What's cracking you up today?" thread...

So like 5 years ago, I bought a CD from a cute little independent website called CDBaby. Flash forward about 3 years, I get an email from the owner of the site talking about how he has sold the site for a ridiculous sum and used all the money to create a charity promoting music classes for underprivileged kids.

It was a nice story and all, but the tone of the email was more than a little pandering. The whole thing was written as if we were good friends, mail-merged with my first name, the name of the CD I had bought way back when, and even my shipping destination city. (As in, "Hope you've been enjoying that great weather in Austin!") Of course it had been sent to the entire email list of everyone who had ever purchased a CD from him, and was basically asking, in a super chummy way, for donations and other support for his new charity.

Well, I was bored that day, and more than a little bemused, so I wrote him an email in reply--as if yes, we were in fact good friends, and here, since he's given me such an extensive update on his life, let me in turn give him an extensive update on my interests. I told him all about the autism treatments, my cooking blog, sent him links to the progress videos, etc. He did write back with thanks and cursory interest, then it fizzled out after one or two more back-and-forths.

Then a few months later, he spammed me again with more self-serving links and information about his "projects." Again, to his whole list, again as if we were old friends from before the war. So I replied again in kind.

And again. And again.

Every time this dude contacts me about shit I don't care about, I send him one back about shit he doesn't care about. Today, my email said this:

Hi Derek,

It's so great to hear from you! I apologize for the delay in my reply, my email program had moved your message to the spam folder (what could it possibly have been thinking?!) I know you must have been eagerly awaiting an update on my son's recovery from autism...

Etc., etc., lots of details about how great he's doing, the Tae Kwon Do school where no one has any idea he has (soon to be had) a diagnosis, and the current balance of digestive meds. But the real kicker was my closer:

Check out the attached pictures from my son's colonoscopy!

God, I hope his email program has a preview function that will load the image without asking.


I know it would be more effective to just ask this guy directly to take me off his email list. But this is so much more fun...

[footfootfoot]

you are an evil genius, CF

[ZenGum]

That's awesome.

I've taken to messing with the system lately. If I ever get anything addressed "to the householder" with a return address that looks unimportant, I return it marked "not known at this address". Or "deceased".

Make some bored drone in the dead letter office have a total WTF? moment.

[Griff]

Nicely played!

[wolf]

I should not be allowed in the Tar-jay without a responsible adult.

Luckily I will be returning about $50 worth of the stuff I bought because it didn't fit.

So, like I'm in the female workout wear department. They have a lot of cute stuff, little racerback sports bras, little yoga pants, little Daisy Duke running shorts, emphasis on the little.

There was a staff member stocking and rehanging these cute little outfits. She was a very substantially sized young lady.

I asked her, "Excuse me, but do you have any workout wear for women who actually need it?"

She didn't say a word. She just shook her head, very slowly.

We both laughed in a very jolly manner.

I have to go check out the workout wear section at the Walmart. I think they are more likely to have my size.

My problem was that I decided to go around the whole store. Usually I just head straight for what I went for. And I kind of did. Unfortunately, there was an entire store in between the first thing I went for and the second.

[skysidhe]

hehe thanks for the laugh clodfobble!

[casimendocina]

That's hilarious Clod. Awaiting the report of the CD guy's reply.

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by wolf

I should not be allowed in the Tar-jay without a responsible adult.

Luckily I will be returning about $50 worth of the stuff I bought because it didn't fit.

So, like I'm in the female workout wear department. They have a lot of cute stuff, little racerback sports bras, little yoga pants, little Daisy Duke running shorts, emphasis on the little.

There was a staff member stocking and rehanging these cute little outfits. She was a very substantially sized young lady.

I asked her, "Excuse me, but do you have any workout wear for women who actually need it?"

She didn't say a word. She just shook her head, very slowly.

We both laughed in a very jolly manner.

I have to go check out the workout wear section at the Walmart. I think they are more likely to have my size.

My problem was that I decided to go around the whole store. Usually I just head straight for what I went for. And I kind of did. Unfortunately, there was an entire store in between the first thing I went for and the second.

I love this story.

Oh, and the "entire store" included the Hello Kitty duct tape, right?

Target gets me into trouble every time!

[skysidhe]

Yes, wolf your story was funny too but I read it second and so, I forgot after the chuckle fest I had over clods.

"The emphasis on the word little" is oh so true. I've thought the very same thing. They certainly look like a size 3. I pick one up and I imagine a trim toned tall athletic person, tanned and gorgeous and put the item down, thinking it's out of my league.

[infinite monkey]

I saw a woman in the Wally World with an outfit made of those very items, the 'little' ones. I was totally jealous until she turned around and I realized she wasn't a working-out, dedicated, 'my body is a temple' health fiend, she was a hillbilly crackhead.

But she looked GREAT from the back.