05-29-2019, 01:20 AM | #61 |
The future is unwritten
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Don't be, your thread you can say anything you damn well please.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
05-29-2019, 04:23 AM | #62 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
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It wasn't a lie . For several reasons. And certainly not as much as when you shook hands and they said "how are you?" and you didn't say "fucking shit actually"
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
05-29-2019, 08:50 AM | #63 | |
Encroaching on your decrees
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Quote:
It’s not a lie. I have two brothers. One killed himself, but that doesn’t stop him from being my brother. I always say I have two brothers. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of |
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05-29-2019, 09:16 AM | #64 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
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Was she depressed?
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05-29-2019, 09:25 AM | #65 | |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
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Quote:
But also and entirely separately, lie your face off anytime you damn well please. They're strangers and you don't owe them anything. |
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05-29-2019, 09:29 AM | #66 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Not outwardly. Not at all. I hadn't seen her since Christmas before last Sunday. I was more concerned about the boy. Man. He dropped out of Widener and was in a funk. No one.. No. One. Saw this coming.
She had been visiting a forum that discussed how to do this. I can't bring myself to look at it. Don't remember the name of it. But my sister went through it. She had never posted. Another girl did the same exact thing the same day. https://www.ydr.com/story/news/2019/...so/1268146001/ They didn't know each other as far as I know. But the recipe is there. How much to drink, what to do in the days leading up. When to tell someone to call an ambulance so you don't actually die in the home, but too late to save you. To go and have good visits with those you love. Sick sick sick. I wish to hell I had any clue of what was so bad about her life. But I never will.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 05-29-2019 at 09:40 AM. |
05-29-2019, 04:52 PM | #67 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
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I doubt there was anything objectively bad about her life Jim.
Look, I may be speaking out of turn here, and I don't know what was going on in someone else's head, but I can speak to a mindset that almost led me to a similar place when I was 16 or 17. The thing that tipped me was not that life was so terrible - it was a mindset. It was all the confusion and stuff people deal with when they're young, but for some reason, I just couldn't. The world was different then though - there weren't any forums with expert advice on how to succeed, so I failed. It's only when you fail, that you can learn that wasn't really what you wanted. Those forums are fucking poison. Every single one of them posting advice and expertise, holds a little piece of the blame for this. imo.
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05-29-2019, 05:52 PM | #68 |
Snowflake
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Jim. You're a good man.
Go through the process. Do you have a therapist? Please don't internalize this. If there's anything I can possibly do from Oregon, I'm here for you.
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****************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio |
05-29-2019, 07:02 PM | #69 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I don't know if I've said this already, but I've had this kind of shock before, this loss. When Shelby asked me to move out. Not nearly as abrupt or painful, but kind of similar. I'll get through it. I'll lose a bunch of weight. I'll be sad unless I'm forcing myself to be happy... Until I'm happy again. I doubt I'll ever be pure happy again... There will always be this pain. But I'm ok. I'll see the sun rise again.
Thanks though.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
05-29-2019, 10:39 PM | #70 |
I can hear my ears
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Posts: 25,571
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[QUOTE=DanaC;1033195:
Those forums are fucking poison. Every single one of them posting advice and expertise, holds a little piece of the blame for this. / Blame. Not sure how I feel about blame. I don't feel any. I am sure I did everything I could do with the cards I was dealt. I loved her and I treated her gently. Never raised my voice since she was 10. I don't blame Shelby. Not even a little. Those people on that forum are accruing some scary karma, but I can't blame Them. They don't care about the people that use their sick fucking recipe. I'm going to hate that word from now on, by the way. Recipe. Ripley had 18 years to learn to know better than to do that. I'm disappointed. I disagree with her decision. But I didn't get a vote. If anyone gets the blame, it's her. What the fuck do I know though. Who cares about blame? Doesn't change anything. It's just that there is information available for everything, and some things are really bad. She made the decision with a brain that I don't have, and therefore can't think with, so I'll never know the motive. But even if I did. If I had a note she left with the reasons. ... .... .
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
05-29-2019, 10:55 PM | #71 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
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Do you have plans for a funeral/gathering of remembrance ...whatever word the kids are using these days?
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
05-29-2019, 11:00 PM | #72 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
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That's been put on the back burner. Could be a couple weeks or more
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
05-29-2019, 11:21 PM | #73 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Jim, I just got nothing. I'm so bereft for you. i want to... ... I don't know because there's nothing I can..... ......
I totally agree about blame ..even if you could figure out who or what to blame, it wouldn't help.
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
05-29-2019, 11:42 PM | #74 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Right.
So it's Wednesday.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
05-30-2019, 12:45 AM | #75 |
The future is unwritten
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Posts: 71,105
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You're fortunate you know your job well enough to run on autopilot for a bit if you have to.
Your undercoating/Scotchguarding sales might slip a little but that's OK.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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