What is pissing you off this time?

[anonymous]

My sister is pissing me off. She's got a ton of problems. I want to help as much as I can, but I can't help as much as I want. And I definitely can't help as much as she wants. Her mental illness makes communicating with her difficult. Worse, some the communication habits we share are like landmines. She's annoying to talk with. She's a poor listener. She's an inveterate, hardened contradictor. "No, it's not." she'll blithely reply. Even if I've just changed my position by 180 degrees. I don't know why she does this, but it's a conversation killer. It's not really argumentation, it's just a reflex, without real content, like Tourette's. It is fucking exhausting.

I want to listen to her but I have limits that are far lower than her apparent need. And she can't just end the conversation nicely, ok, thanks, nice catching up with you, tell me what happens next week with xyz, love you, bye. Nope. Sometimes there's more arguing on any of the normal sign off signals, sometimes there's a desperate "Oh, wait, just one quick question... (with the emphasis on the ellipsis). Then when I've rebutted all her arguments, and asserted myself to wrap it up, she scolds and moralizes and shames, "Mom and Dad would never have accepted ____!". I often get wound up and wind up cursing, at the top of my lungs before I slam the phone down.

Then (yes, there's more) come the repeated calls. I have voicemails that are staggeringly unintelligible. So incoherent that the voice-to-text bot that puts the messages in my email just gives up. I feel for you my robot brother.

So much for the good news, all the above is worse when she's been drinking. OMG.

I guess I'll resign myself to the idea that I'm helping her as much as I'm able by listening to her as much as I do.

Ok, rant over. Jesus, she's an ordeal.

[Clodfobble]

Sorry, anon. I'm exhausted just reading about it, you're a better person than I am just for listening as much as you do.

[fargon]

My brand new car is broke. The glow plug light flashes, and the check engine light is on. And I didn't even have time to tell you guyz about getting it.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Sounds like it's a high tech one. At least it shouldn't cost you money being brand new. Not like that Apple computer you waited so long for.

[fargon]

I just bought another Apple computer, but this time I bought the extended warrenty.

[orthodoc]

My husband has moved out of our bedroom. He says the cat wakes him up when I slip out of the room (in darkness) at 0500 to study. I thought about suggesting that the cat sleep elsewhere but decided that if he isn't willing to come up with that, nothing will help.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Reverting to old habits, old patterns... very sorry to hear that.
I know it's un-Canadian but might you put your foot down? Or would that be too complicated at a time when you must pick your battles?

[Gravdigr]

Buy the cat some really expensive toys/food/treats.

Buy the husband a pack of chicken hotdogs (they're awful).

"Here's dinner for a week. GTFO."

See, I'd be no good in a marriage.

[orthodoc]

Got it in one, Bruce. This particular issue has settled down but yes, old habits and patterns. I write my Board exams next week so am directing all my energy and focus toward that.

@grav - made me laugh!

[Aliantha]

Husbands can be really dumb sometimes. I know. I have one. :/

[Griff]

mandatory all hands meeting tomorrow with some dude who lives in a van down by the river giving a motivational speech... all because the CEO's precious employee survey revealed that his being a douche to folks leads them to think he's kind of a douche. Funny how that works. hmmm... I may not be going into this with too positive an attitude after all we get a free lunch buffet so we won't get a break at noon.
I'm starting to sound like a guy who has been expected to skip lunch twice this week because the agency is too cheap to provide classroom coverage. But its for the children! No, cranky staff are not good with kids. But we're serving our customer the school district! No, actually we're missing a needed common core training to eat cold pasta with the boss and his cronies.

[Griff]

Quit being a pussy Griff, you know you'll be in a better mood later.

[glatt]

It's Friday!

[Gravdigr]

Watch that 'pussy' shit, hillbiffy.

Referring to:

"Watch that 'boy' shit, redneck."[/BlazingSaddles]

[orthodoc]

And ... gaslighting going on. After a horrid confrontation over whether or not I am 'permitted' to converse with my father on coming home from work ... a huge acting-out scene by my husband and a night/day of extreme stress, followed by a complete reversal that gives me no confidence at all.

My father has been living with us since last November, with my husband's full approval (at the time). My father has paid all his expenses, including the stair lift that allows him to go between the main and lower levels of our house. However, his presence suddenly became a huge issue a week before my exams. Although my husband has retreated from his position of a few days ago, I no longer believe anything he says with respect to my father being here. And my focus has been destroyed. I can't help it; I'm up at 1:30 am writing this. 'Nuff said.