Weird News - Page 73

xoxoxoBruce · 09-16-2010, 11:07 PM

Quote:

A businessman has been fined £60 and had his driving licence endorsed for blowing his nose while stuck in a traffic jam.

Michael Mancini, a furniture restorer from Prestwick, Ayrshire, was given the fixed penalty and docked three penalty points after leaning over and pulling out a paper handkerchief to wipe his nose when stuck in Ayr High Street. Mancini said that his van was in neutral with its handbrake on, and that he was flabbergasted when he was signalled into a parking bay by an approaching policeman.

Matters became “a little bit surreal”, he said, when he wound down his window and was promptly charged by the stern-faced PC Stuart Gray, a man known locally as “Shiny Buttons” in recognition of his zealous attention to detail. “I honestly thought it was a joke,” said Mancini, 39, who was booked for failing to be in control of his vehicle.

Quote:

PC Gray earned notoriety for doling out a £50 fine to Stewart Smith, another Ayr man, who dropped a £10 note from his back pocket. Mr Smith was charged with littering.

No wonder they had to take everybody's guns away.

link

classicman · 09-17-2010, 12:44 PM

Jersey City woman says boyfriend beat her with a cat

Quote:

A 49-year-old Hoboken man was arrested Tuesday after he beat his girlfriend with a cat and punched her in the back and back of her head, according to police reports.

Around noon, Hoboken police were dispatched to the 300 block of Marshall Dr., and a 20-year-old Jersey City woman was crying and told police that her boyfriend punched her a few times and hit her with a "feline cat," reports said. She said she had pain to her lower back and the back of her head, reports said.

Not sure what other kind of cat there is, but still...

From here

Lamplighter · 09-17-2010, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Jersey City woman says boyfriend beat her with a cat

Not sure what other kind of cat there is, but still...

From here

***-o'-nine-tails ?

Scriveyn · 09-17-2010, 01:10 PM

Priceless: room to swing a cat in your flat

classicman · 09-17-2010, 02:20 PM

The mental image you just gave me caused an lol in my office.

Scriveyn · 09-17-2010, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Guardian

Pope's astronomer says he would baptise an alien if it asked him

An alien – 'no matter how many tentacles it has' – could have a soul, says pope's astronomer.

link

They must be really desperate at the Vatican.

Spexxvet · 09-17-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scriveyn

They must be really desperate at the Vatican.

So desperate that they need aliens to molest.

Scriveyn · 09-17-2010, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

So desperate that they need aliens to molest.

The more tentacles, the better!

xoxoxoBruce · 09-17-2010, 08:49 PM

Quote:

In Pretoria, the nation's administrative and de facto capital city, some are taking an odd and illegal step to compete with their follow downtrodden man: beggars are renting babies and using them as props in order to garner sympathy and, they hope, more (and larger) donations.

The baby-rental process is not, however, initiated by parents looking to make a buck. (Thankfully?) Rather, corrupt day care centers are behind the deed, loaning out the children to vagabonds -- unbeknownst to the parents.

Good grief.

link

Happy Monkey · 09-20-2010, 02:38 PM

I suspect that 'vagabonds' is being used as a euphamism for 'hobos'.

Nirvana · 09-20-2010, 06:07 PM

SOUTH BEND — If you ever wondered how much difference just one letter can make when it comes to a message, ask the thousands of people who drove by a digital billboard near the intersection of Ironwood and State Road 23 between Thursday and Monday morning.

The ad urged people to go to the "southbendon.com" website for a look at the "15 best things about our pubic schools." That's right, the billboard said "pubic" instead of "public" schools. The letter "L" had been left out of the word public.

Lee MacMillan of South Bend said his wife spotted the error on Saturday while sitting in traffic.

"She got home and said, ‘I can't believe it said what I think it said,’" MacMillan recalls.

"So we were out driving around yesterday and sure enough, it had that typo in it. So we took a picture and the rest is history, as they say," MacMillan adds.

MacMillan posted the picture he took on Facebook. He also emailed it to his neighbor, South Bend School Superintendent Jim Kapsa.

more

Crimson Ghost · 09-21-2010, 01:39 AM

Pubic schools...
Sex Education...
Teachers and students having sex...
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies!
Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness!
Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

Scriveyn · 09-21-2010, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost

Pubic schools...
(1) Sex Education...
(2) Teachers and students having sex...
(3) Fire and (4) brimstone coming down from the skies!
(5) Rivers and (6) seas boiling!
(7) Forty years of darkness!
(8) Earthquakes, (9) volcanoes...
(10) The dead rising from the grave!
(11) Human sacrifice, (12)dogs and cats living together... (13)mass hysteria!

CG, that's only thirteen, at best. What are the remaining two?

GunMaster357 · 09-21-2010, 11:05 AM

(14) Cooking fetuses over a nice BBQ

Crimson Ghost · 09-21-2010, 08:15 PM

And the last and best thing about our pubic schools is -

Standardized tests.

That's right.

Without standardized tests, how would we know who our friends are, and who to exclude from the "inner circle" of jocks, preps, and cheerleaders?

Standardized tests make life so much better.

They worked in the past.

Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot...

Come on aboard for the big win.

(Went back and re-read that. I was headed to a real dark place in my head.)

09-17-2010, 02:20 PM	#1085
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	The mental image you just gave me caused an lol in my office. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

09-20-2010, 02:38 PM	#1090
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	I suspect that 'vagabonds' is being used as a euphamism for 'hobos'. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

09-20-2010, 06:07 PM	#1091
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Billboard spelling error creates embarrassment SOUTH BEND — If you ever wondered how much difference just one letter can make when it comes to a message, ask the thousands of people who drove by a digital billboard near the intersection of Ironwood and State Road 23 between Thursday and Monday morning. The ad urged people to go to the "southbendon.com" website for a look at the "15 best things about our pubic schools." That's right, the billboard said "pubic" instead of "public" schools. The letter "L" had been left out of the word public. Lee MacMillan of South Bend said his wife spotted the error on Saturday while sitting in traffic. "She got home and said, ‘I can't believe it said what I think it said,’" MacMillan recalls. "So we were out driving around yesterday and sure enough, it had that typo in it. So we took a picture and the rest is history, as they say," MacMillan adds. MacMillan posted the picture he took on Facebook. He also emailed it to his neighbor, South Bend School Superintendent Jim Kapsa. more __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

09-21-2010, 01:39 AM	#1092
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Pubic schools... Sex Education... Teachers and students having sex... Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

09-21-2010, 11:05 AM	#1094
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	(14) Cooking fetuses over a nice BBQ __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

09-17-2010, 01:10 PM	#1084
Scriveyn amnesic-confabulatory opsimath Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Between my ears Posts: 739	Priceless: room to swing a cat in your flat

09-21-2010, 08:15 PM	#1095
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	And the last and best thing about our pubic schools is - Standardized tests. That's right. Without standardized tests, how would we know who our friends are, and who to exclude from the "inner circle" of jocks, preps, and cheerleaders? Standardized tests make life so much better. They worked in the past. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot... Come on aboard for the big win. (Went back and re-read that. I was headed to a real dark place in my head.) __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

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