Shade tree mechanics

[BigV]

Picture of the zip ties tomorrow. I'm thinking of where the duct tape is... drawing a blank. I'll figure it out though.

[classicman]

good job... you are the nutty neighbor always up to something, aren't you?

[BigV]

Fuck.

I have a new project, one I'm not going to be able to ignore. SonofV noticed smoke coming out of the dashboard vents yesterday. Hm.. what does it smell like? Turns out, not like smoke. Like coolant. When we got home to check the coolant level because the temp light was blinking, it was low. Not super hot, I have a gauge and it was in the OK range. But the reservoir was empty (this coolant is expensive, like $20 a gallon). Not only that, but I noticed it was dripping coolant on my right foot.

I've had failed heater cores before, they suck. They pump your car full of coolant steam making the insides of the glass covered with slimy fog. I depend on my heater, it does get cold enough here to justify one so bypassing it isn't really an option. I'm going to have to replace it.

Replacing the heater core is simple, but extensive. It's about the first thing installed on the car frame after the motor. Consequently, everything after that, like the dashboard, the console, the steering wheel, the fan motors, etc etc etc. all have to come off to get to it. Once that's done, it's easy. Two hoses off, two hoses on, seal the box with rtv, and then the dreaded "reverse procedure". It's not hard just tedious as fuck all. Pictures and profanity to come.

[zippyt]

Good Job V

[BigV]

thanks man, I presume that's for the bodywork job.

I'm open to suggestions about the heater core replacement. You have the floor.

[zippyt]

did ya try stop leak ??

[BigV]

not yet, just found it tonight.
but jeeebus.. it is dripping on my foot, I think I might have to put a freakin tourniquet on it.

[BigV]

Today I hate this thread.

I've bitten off more than I want to chew and the stakes are high. Like, I don't have a way to work in the morning.

More detail to come later, but for now, suffice to say that I've cut the hose off the car, but now I can't get the stumps off the fittings/barbs.

I'm as frustrated with a car repair as I've ever, ever been. This is not technically difficult. Squeeze the hose clamp, pull the hose off. But that's been impossible for me. The quarters are close, the clamp's in a very awkward position. I've already been to the store twice, once for a headlamp to see what the fuck I'm doing and a second time for some specific pliers, hose clamp pliers. But they didn't fit between the ear of one of the clamps and the whateverthefuck was behind it.

Finally gave up, said, y'know, that hose is already dead, I'll just cut it out. That part went well. I think I only cut the dead hose (of course, all hoses cut become dead, but I mean I didn't cut any hoses I wanted to keep). Now I have more room. And STILL CAN'T GET THE FUCKING TOOL ON THE FUCKING CLAMP. Or, I get it on a tiny bit, after... say, fifteen minutes of cussing, and then can't find any more room to grip the remaining hose. Oh, I am so, so, so, so done with this shit. Goddamn, I'm sick of working on this fucker.

Typing this paragraph has given me time to let my hands and fingers warm up a little, I guess I'll go out and try again. JFC.

[BigV]

I've given up for the night.

I'll probably go at it again, but just to clean up my tools and shit for the night. I found the circlip that had sprung off and disabled my newly acquired pliers. Buoyed by this small Christmas miracle, I tried using them on the one spring hose clamp that came off with the carcass of the hose I'd cut out of the car. It's the kind with little swiveling bits at the tips of the jaws of the pliers and a locking pawl to capture your success... well, I'm not very good at using these pliers and they slipped off the hose clamp and clamp sprung open hitting my index and middle fingers and thumb of my left hand, instantly numbing them. They're like wooden fingertips. Only now, an hour later have they begun to tingle with the promise of future pain.

I tore through half the diameter of one of the hose remnants in an effort to twist/drag/pull it off the barb. The thing is, I can't get the hose clamp closed tightly enough, no, the tool like vicegrips or hoseclamp pliers or c-clamp closed tightly enough to open the hoseclamp to the maximum, permitting me to slide the affair off the fitting. The hoses themselves are a little swollen just past the clamp, like really old, weakened hoses are wont to do, and I can't enlarge the clamp enough to get over the bigger spot. And even when I have to hoseclamp opened to the greatest extent I can manage, it appears to still be tight enough to keep me from sliding the hose off the barb.

And all this is complicated by very close quarters, that's the worst part. Being cold and dark outside is by comparison merely annoying, I've worked in those conditions before. Sucks, but whatever. I've take off lots more parts than I thought I would have to when I began this ill-advised journey, a couple ends of other coolant lines, an electrical connection to my alternator, a panel in the engine compartment just above the radiator, the oil filter...

Oh, I should have said before, this is the hose that goes from the oil sending unit (or whatever the fuck that thing is called that the oil filter spins onto) to the oil cooler. It's a very weird hose, it's F shaped. A capital F modeled in noodley hose. Anyhow this molded hose will fit back in pretty easy, it's the right hose I'm sure (unless the diameter is fucked on one of the hoses, who knows until you hook it up). But I can't get these last two stubs of hose off. And I can't cut them off (not easily anyhow, they put up a pretty good fight to my sawsall and pruning shears. The parts remaining have a spring steel girdle protecting them. And I have already hurt myself with BLUNT instruments under the hood, I think switching to razor knives at this stages is a bad idea.

Fuck. I'm tired and frustrated and I have no way to work tomorrow. I'm working on a plan to borrow Twil's car, but that's got its own complications. And the bus?!? I shit you not, the route planner sent me on the bus to the ferry from the peninsula to Seattle and from Seattle to the island. I could not dissuade it. That's ninety minutes of boat time, not counting riding the bus to and from the ferry docks at the ends of each trip. Fortunately the ferry dock in Seattle is the only one I need for both the arrival and departure. Jesus. Fucking car.

This is not a complex job. But it is proving very problematic.

I'm open to your suggestions, preferably some magic way to get these hose ends off.

[Beestie]

BigV, I gave up working on cars. just last year, I thought I'd save a buck or two and replace the headlamp on a Durango. How hard can it be, right? I could fill up a page explaining how effing impossibly difficult it was. I finished it but there is a piece of my soul still trying to find its way out of that Satan's labyrinth of iron and plastic.

Edit: The only thing that ever worked for me to get hoses on or off anything was copious amounts of spray silicone.

[glatt]

The factory manual probably has you pulling the engine out to get at the things. Or disassembling half of it. I feel your pain.

[BigV]

Ohh.. That's a good one, "Satan's labyrinth".

When I was working for JiffyLube, there were cars we wouldn't service. Some of those cars simply require factory/car specific tools to non-destructively pry the plastic shell/housing/carapace/armor/candy shell from the area with access to the fucking bulb. Really, why in the world would that be considered a good idea? Sure, built in obsolescence, make it a dealer service item only. That's kind of evil though, coming from an old skool git-er-done guy like me. And you, xoB, and a dozen other dwellars who have extensive mechanical abilities. But those abilities don't seem to translate well to the newer vehicles, *even* if the technology is the same, it's just packaged in a way that makes it deliberately difficult to work on.

FFS, I saw cars at the shop that required a specialized tool to take out the drain plug. I'm not talking about the merely unnecessarily, pretentiously "exotic" allen bolt fitting when a tried and true hex head bolt would do, it was like a keyhole, and fucking made of plastic! VW, I love you and you make some quality vehicles. But you do some fucked up shit.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Cut the clamp, they can't be that expensive. Either a Dremel (or equivalent), or your sawall with a fine or abrasive blade.

[BigV]

!!!!!!!!!!

Genius!

I'll be right back!

[Griff]

smrt