What's mildly amusing you today?

[Sundae]

Coming home yesterday I was embarrassed by a creaky railing seat.
They have them at bus stops, to make sure you don't sit there for any longer than you have to. Works for keeping the local yoof away from bus shelters, not so well for genuine passengers trying to catch buses which regularly run late.

Anyway, as I sat down the bench thingy gave an almighty squeaky groan.
The only way I can describe it was the sound of a loud suppressed fart which someone had tried to squeeze out quietly, but failed.
Certainly the man next to me thought so. He stared at me, and shuffled down the bench.
Now I know my sphincter was 100% shut, so it's not like there was a smell.

What made me smile afterwards was that he bum-slid towards an old man who really smelled of wee.
I know because after Mr Disgusted got on his bus, the old man came up to me to ask for a bite of my sandwich.
I gave him what I had. Partly because I was forcing it down anyway, partly because if you have to ask a stranger for a bite of a sandwich you must be in desperate straits (if a stranger asks you for your shirt etc)
And sorry, bruises, cold sores and all, I still wouldn't want to have a sandwich back after someone else had had a bite.

Leeds. Nice.

So, slightly dark humour, but I reviewed it in my mind later and giggled.
Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell

[Carruthers]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell

Almost Confucian.

[BigV]

That is a pretty funny story.

[lumberjim]

It would be interesting to read from the suits pov.

There I was, minding me own business... And this bird plops her self down next to me on the bench there, and lets fly with et!

Wot? She farted?

Yeeee, just like that. Like it was the thing to do, mate. Then she looks me dead in the eye and smiles!

[Sundae]

Hahaha...

And then, I moved away from her in case she actually pooped herself, only to find myself next to an old giffer who'd actually weed himself.

Honestly, Leeds.

And do you know what?
I got the next bus even though it wasn't the right one, just to get away from them, and a young lad puked just across the aisle from me.
Just wasn't my day for bodily fluids I guess.

[Aliantha]

The local movie rental shop closed down a couple of weeks ago, and i would say, sold the debt for all the overdue rentals to a collection agency. Everyone is now on the community page having a whine about it. Some have bills for over $500! lol. Maybe they should return things on time. I cant believe that they think its so unfair.

[monster]

My juvenile rewording of Boom Clap (the sound of my heart)

[Gravdigr]

I'm being mildly amused, RFN, by Momdigr who has two Jehovah's Witness-looking fellas in the front yard. They both have their hands in their pockets, nodding their heads, and, I notice that their mouths aren't moving.

I'm sure they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into.

[BigV]

heheheheh... "Let me tell you something..."

[Clodfobble]

So apparently my great-great-great grandfather fought in the Civil War. A couple months back, our family was contacted by some Confederacy historical preservation group, asking for permission to put a special commemorative headstone on his (at this point unmarked) gravesite.

We said whatever, knock yourselves out, but we declined to make a donation to help pay for it.

Then they got in touch again, saying that the headstones were ready and they were going to have a dedication ceremony for about 10 soldiers, and they would really like a few of each soldier's descendants to come witness the event and receive a certificate or whatever. My mom figured why the hell not, and went.

When she got there, the organizer was freaking out because they had expected 5-7 people per family, but one soldier's family had RSVP'ed over 100 people. They had to scramble to add tons of extra chairs, and created a second registration table so it wouldn't be a bottleneck. To simplify things, they just said, "Everyone from this dude's family go to this table; everyone else go to that table."

Except then more people start arriving, and it turns out... this soldier in question didn't die during the war. He went on to get married after the war and have lots of children and thus all these copious descendants.

And the woman he married was a freed slave. All of his descendants are black.

So now there is one registration line for the white people, and one registration line for the black people, surrounded by Confederate flags. And my mother comments to one elderly black woman, "Well, I bet they weren't expecting for this to be so awkward."

And the woman says to her with a grin, "Why do you think we all came?"

[infinite monkey]

omg...that's funny!

[sexobon]

I just topped off 5 threads in Nothingland ... I did a Gravdigr!

[classicman]

That is an awesome story, Clod.

[Griff]

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

So now there is one registration line for the white people, and one registration line for the black people, surrounded by Confederate flags.