What's mildly amusing you today?

[Sundae]

There was a man on the market today selling panda bowls.
"Strawberries, grapes, panda bowl!" he shouted.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Chocolate tube map is called a colostomy so your health insurance will pay for it.

[Undertoad]

"Strawberries, grapes, panda bowl!" he shouted.

Is that like the Chinese restaurant that tried to feed us wester balls?

Us: "What's in that dish?"
Chinese waiter: "Pork, wester balls, broth..."
Us: "Ew! What are wester balls?"
Chinese waiter: "You know, onion, carrot..."

[Clodfobble]

There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.

Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.

Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."

The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.

You are a better person than I am. There's a teacher in Kentucky, and I often get invitations from his student to review papers they have written in Google docs. I stopped letting them know they have the wrong person years ago.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.

Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.

Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."

The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.

Seriously. TOTALLY your next book and at least a year of stand up material!

[Big Sarge]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.

Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.

Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."

The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.

I realize you posted this more than a month ago, but I have been musing. Have you ever considered responding to the emails that are intended for her? LOL I can imagine some of the calamity....

[infinite monkey]

She isn't as hilarious as you are!

[infinite monkey]

Damn cold. Drippy nose and fever. Even a hot bath and cold medicine aren't working. Grumble.

[sexobon]

Remember, if your nose runs and your feet smell ... you're upside down.

[Griff]

Good stuff Clod good stuff.

[Clodfobble]

Admittedly, it isn't my "real" account, or even my backup account, it's the third-tier one that truly only gets used for spam and YouTube crap (because once Google bought YouTube they made it very difficult to do YouTube without a Gmail address.) If I had to deal with it in my face every day I might get less tolerant.

[Gravdigr]

This morning on the radio, I heard the dj refer to a news story that referenced "[John Doe], an African-American from Canada,"...

[monster]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

This morning on the radio, I heard the dj refer to a news story that referenced "[John Doe], an African-American from Canada,"...

Har, I know/knew a Black Brit here who has had arguments with people who insist she's African American when she told them she's not, she's Black. Or British.

[Clodfobble]

Maybe he meant North American? Didn't orthodoc live in Canada at some point--what PC term do they use for black people in Canada, ortho?