ANSWER ME!: (September)

monster · 09-02-2020, 09:10 PM

Dear Noobs (

) don't worry, we really are friendly. This is a great place to jump in. honest. But while we wait for you to pluck up the courage, slightly more established dwellars might reveal a little more about themselves...

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)?
2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety)
3) How old is my sister?
4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go?
5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of?
6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded?
7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit
___________________"
8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar?
9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest?
10) Who is your favorite comedian?
11) Running or Swimming?

limey · 09-03-2020, 04:00 AM

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yeah, of course!
2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety). Not. At. All.
3) How old is my sister? 42.
4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Glenfinnan for a couple of nights.
5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? The orchid that was left in the house when we bought it.
6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? FULLY-LEADED (otherwise what's the point?)
7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit!
If I can can a nut that's my plan!"
8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Crisps (and I surprised myself here)
9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? My cat jumping onto my pillow when I'm 99% asleep.
10) Who is your favorite comedian? Susan Calman.
11) Running or Swimming? Swimming.

footfootfoot · 09-03-2020, 07:27 AM

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yes. "HOW ABOUT A GOD-DAMNED PERSON?"
2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety)Not as much as I'd like. A few times this summer, maybe 40 miles total.
3) How old is my sister? I didn't know you had a sister, but I'll guess 42.
4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Sort of. Went to my GF's house for a few days.
5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? I once grew some Bloody Butcher corn and the stalks grew to 14 feet. It was Findhorn all over again.
6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? I'm coffee ambivalent. It's usually fulled leaded bc that's what's made. Sidebar: despite the trope of espresso being super-jolty there is less caffeine in darker roasts; the roasting process destroys caffeine.
7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit
to the depravity of the the trump administration"
8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Tough call. chips=french fries. Or a Lindt hazelnut milk chocolate bar.
9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? Longish story that I think I recounted here once but the upshot is that a weasel stopped chasing a rabbit and decided to charge me. He got about 8 feet from me and I pointed at him and shouted "KNOCK IT OFF!" He went back after the rabbit.
10) Who is your favorite comedian? Kathleen Madigan So. Fucking. Funny. Esp. if you are Irish and were raised Catholic.
11) Running or Swimming?Swimming

Griff · 09-03-2020, 05:16 PM

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? I usually sing a quiet song about go f@ck yourself or eating a bag of dicks.
2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) 2x weekly need more.
3) How old is my sister? 45
4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? ADK
5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? quite bald
6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? full on
7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit
because I like me some flan"
8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? chocolate
9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? not a screamer
10) Who is your favorite comedian? George Carlin
11) Running or Swimming? Swim

Griff · 09-03-2020, 05:17 PM

well played foots

monster · 09-03-2020, 06:30 PM

(she turned 47 today) She has been referred to previously here as "Aunt Scary". Apparently -I learned recently- she really doesn't like that moniker

(Scary is similar to her real name so I used it once here to refer to her as it seemed to go well with the beestmonster theme..... and beest liked it so we sort of adopted it....)

Gravdigr · 09-03-2020, 08:21 PM

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yes I have, that exact phrase, as a matter of fact.

2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) Never, any more. I used to ride regularly, until just a few years ago.

3) How old is my sister? 47.

4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Yes, I went to the hospital. I wouldn't recommend it.

5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? I've grown some pretty nice recreational herbage in the past.

6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? Caffeine-free, thank you.

7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit
But it'd be weird if I kept it in a pan"

8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Chips, I suppose. No more sugar for the Gravdigr.

9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? Spider.

10) Who is your favorite comedian? I guess I would have to go with Dave Chappell.

11) Running or Swimming? No.

Gravdigr · 09-03-2020, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

(she turned 47 today)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

) How old is my sister? 47.

I swear I didn't see that before I answered.

Do I get points, or something? Anything?

monster · 09-03-2020, 10:02 PM

yes

Gravdigr · 09-04-2020, 02:00 PM

Yay me!

Griff · 09-04-2020, 04:01 PM

points for everyone!

monster · 09-04-2020, 05:23 PM

all points matter?

fargon · 09-04-2020, 05:42 PM

what do we get for our points?

sexobon · 09-04-2020, 06:20 PM

Wait for it!

BigV · 09-04-2020, 07:04 PM

1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)?
I do have a yelling voice and it's not completely safe for indoor use. I have raised my regular indoor voice in such circumstances, but actual yelling, no. (I have felt trapped by the automated attendant much like these poor bastards)

2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety)
Once a week. Today we got up and out early and rode around Clear Creek Trail. It was lovely.

3) How old is my sister?
Rude.

4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go?
We've had a number of road trips here in the After Time. We've been as far as Spokane, about 350 miles.

5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of?
Older and wiser (one moreso than the the other...)

6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded?
Caffeine is my friend.

7) Complete this limerick:
There was a young man from Milan
Who kept a spare nut in a can
When asked why he did it
He said "There's no limit
An Onan can plan, and began.

8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar?
Chocolate. Just because you punctuate it like that doesn't make it a legitimate question.

9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest?
This one. To be fair, it wasn't a whole animal.

10) Who is your favorite comedian?
I probably miss Robin Williams the most. What a genius.

11) Running or Swimming?
Running is more social for me because if I'm running, you better be running too cause we're about to die from whatever's chasing us. So naturally I prefer swimming.

09-02-2020, 09:10 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	ANSWER ME!: (September) Dear Noobs () don't worry, we really are friendly. This is a great place to jump in. honest. But while we wait for you to pluck up the courage, slightly more established dwellars might reveal a little more about themselves... 1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) 3) How old is my sister? 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit ___________________" 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? 10) Who is your favorite comedian? 11) Running or Swimming? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-03-2020, 04:00 AM	#2
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yeah, of course! 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety). Not. At. All. 3) How old is my sister? 42. 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Glenfinnan for a couple of nights. 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? The orchid that was left in the house when we bought it. 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? FULLY-LEADED (otherwise what's the point?) 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit! If I can can a nut that's my plan!" 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Crisps (and I surprised myself here) 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? My cat jumping onto my pillow when I'm 99% asleep. 10) Who is your favorite comedian? Susan Calman. 11) Running or Swimming? Swimming. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

09-03-2020, 07:27 AM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yes. "HOW ABOUT A GOD-DAMNED PERSON?" 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety)Not as much as I'd like. A few times this summer, maybe 40 miles total. 3) How old is my sister? I didn't know you had a sister, but I'll guess 42. 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Sort of. Went to my GF's house for a few days. 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? I once grew some Bloody Butcher corn and the stalks grew to 14 feet. It was Findhorn all over again. 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? I'm coffee ambivalent. It's usually fulled leaded bc that's what's made. Sidebar: despite the trope of espresso being super-jolty there is less caffeine in darker roasts; the roasting process destroys caffeine. 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit to the depravity of the the trump administration" 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Tough call. chips=french fries. Or a Lindt hazelnut milk chocolate bar. 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? Longish story that I think I recounted here once but the upshot is that a weasel stopped chasing a rabbit and decided to charge me. He got about 8 feet from me and I pointed at him and shouted "KNOCK IT OFF!" He went back after the rabbit. 10) Who is your favorite comedian? Kathleen Madigan So. Fucking. Funny. Esp. if you are Irish and were raised Catholic. 11) Running or Swimming?Swimming __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

09-03-2020, 05:16 PM	#4
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? I usually sing a quiet song about go f@ck yourself or eating a bag of dicks. 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) 2x weekly need more. 3) How old is my sister? 45 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? ADK 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? quite bald 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? full on 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit because I like me some flan" 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? chocolate 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? not a screamer 10) Who is your favorite comedian? George Carlin 11) Running or Swimming? Swim __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-03-2020, 05:17 PM	#5
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	well played foots __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-03-2020, 06:30 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	(she turned 47 today) She has been referred to previously here as "Aunt Scary". Apparently -I learned recently- she really doesn't like that moniker (Scary is similar to her real name so I used it once here to refer to her as it seemed to go well with the beestmonster theme..... and beest liked it so we sort of adopted it....) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-03-2020, 08:21 PM	#7
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? Yes I have, that exact phrase, as a matter of fact. 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) Never, any more. I used to ride regularly, until just a few years ago. 3) How old is my sister? 47. 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? Yes, I went to the hospital. I wouldn't recommend it. 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? I've grown some pretty nice recreational herbage in the past. 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? Caffeine-free, thank you. 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit But it'd be weird if I kept it in a pan" 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Chips, I suppose. No more sugar for the Gravdigr. 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? Spider. 10) Who is your favorite comedian? I guess I would have to go with Dave Chappell. 11) Running or Swimming? No. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-03-2020, 10:02 PM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	yes __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-04-2020, 02:00 PM	#10
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Yay me! __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-04-2020, 04:01 PM	#11
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	points for everyone! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-04-2020, 05:23 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	all points matter? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-04-2020, 05:42 PM	#13
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	what do we get for our points? __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

09-04-2020, 06:20 PM	#14
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Wait for it!

09-04-2020, 07:04 PM	#15
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	1) Have you ever yelled at an automated phone menu "SPEAK TO A FUCKING HUMAN" (or similar)? I do have a yelling voice and it's not completely safe for indoor use. I have raised my regular indoor voice in such circumstances, but actual yelling, no. (I have felt trapped by the automated attendant much like these poor bastards) 2) How much do you ride a bike (of the non-motorized variety) Once a week. Today we got up and out early and rode around Clear Creek Trail. It was lovely. 3) How old is my sister? Rude. 4) Did you get to take a vacation since the covid crap? And if so... where did you go? We've had a number of road trips here in the After Time. We've been as far as Spokane, about 350 miles. 5) What thing that you have grown (other than your children) are you most proud of? Older and wiser (one moreso than the the other...) 6) Caffeine-free or fully-leaded? Caffeine is my friend. 7) Complete this limerick: There was a young man from Milan Who kept a spare nut in a can When asked why he did it He said "There's no limit An Onan can plan, and began. 8) Chips/crisps or a chocolate bar? Chocolate. Just because you punctuate it like that doesn't make it a legitimate question. 9) Which surprise animal encounter made you scream the loudest? This one. To be fair, it wasn't a whole animal. 10) Who is your favorite comedian? I probably miss Robin Williams the most. What a genius. 11) Running or Swimming? Running is more social for me because if I'm running, you better be running too cause we're about to die from whatever's chasing us. So naturally I prefer swimming. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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