Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[gingerstar61]

My four year old cousin came to my grandads funeral recently. We'd just finished singing a hymn and in the quiet pause he shouts out 'Mummy I dont like that one can we sing twinkle twinkle'

She was so embarressed but it was really nice because on a day which was sad his little comment made us all smile!

[SteveDallas]

We went to a concert a couple weeks back. A friend of the family was playing. After we were home my 6yo son told me that this friend, who had a baby about 6 months back, looked different from the last time he saw her. Feeling somewhat nervous about where this was going, I calmly asked, "Oh yeah? Why do you say that?"

"Well her hair looks different, like she got it cut or something."

"Oh, well, people change their hairstyles sometimes. Especially women. It's no big deal."

"And besides that her boobies look a lot fatter."

[wolf]

You're raising your boy well.

[SteveDallas]

Thank you, that certainly seems to be the consensus.

[archergirl]

Haha.. great pic Steve!

[Beestie]

My recently turned five-year old and I were walking into a store. Just outside the door was an employee who was enjoying a smoke on his break.

As a side note, my son asks questions by placing a question mark at the end of a statement.

So, just about the time we passed by the man, my son loudly asks:

"Daddy, people who smoke are stupid?"

Good thing I didn't take him to a biker bar at three am.

[glatt]

Ouch.

[Clodfobble]

My 6-year-old stepdaughter has gotten into Pokemon quite a bit, and takes every opportunity to share all her knowledge with anyone who will listen. She was detailing the battle system to her great aunt at a family gathering...

"See, here's an attack called a headbutt. That's where you smash poop in their face."

[elf]

The hubby took the boy-child to the supermarket one day when the boyee was about four years old. . . he was in a shooting phase, he would run around with his fingers loaded and cocked, ready for any likely target. So, on the way to the store there's a constant stream of gunfire going on from the back seat, to which the hubby asks, "What are you shooting at?" and the boy announces, "The red cars, I'm gonna get all the red ones!" So after another few minutes, it starts wearing thin on the hubby's nerves, "Why don't you pick another kind of target?"

Ahh, peace at last!

Just a couple more shots fired, and they're at the supermarket. Once they get out of the car, the boy's off again: "bangbangbang!", just as a dark-skinned guy walks out from between two black cars, "I'm shooting the BLACK ones now, Dad!"

[BigV]

Originally Posted by elf

The hubby took the boy-child to the supermarket one day--snip--"I'm shooting the BLACK ones now, Dad!"

It's soooo easy to underestimate their creative ability to take your perfectly good parenteing plan and mess. it. up.

funny tho...

[Guyute]

I got two-

1)- kinda funny & embarrassing-->My wife has a friend who's husband absolutely can't stop uttering "Fuckin damn" when he gets really riled up. The two kids seemed to let it go right over their heads (3-1/2 and 5 yrs old) until one day last summer she had them at the park, with them surrounded by other kids and her surrounded by mothers, the youngest falls or something and right in front of everyone he goes "FUCKin Damn". She was so humiliated she left. I guess the looks she got from the other mothers were pretty heinous.

2--> Definitely embarrassing--> About 25 years ago, when my buddy and I were about 10, his cousin comes to visit him in Halifax from a very small town in a neighbouring province, where there just didn't happen to be ANYBODY with any color skin except white. They are walking down a very busy street in Halifax, and a black guy is strolling down the other side of the street (only 2 lanes, so maybe 25 feet away). The little cousin was only 8 and didn't realize how evil this next sentence was, so in complete innocence, in front of everyone, he turns to my buddy and says "look, Ted, there goes a Ni**er!" I guess the black guy was literally speechless, and lucky for my friend, he was able to hustle his little cousin away before things got really ugly. Needless to say he wasn't too happy with his uncle and aunt...

On a lighter note- when my daughter was about 1-1/2, we were walking through the local Sears. I am carrying her because we are both looking for Mommy over the tops of the clothing racks, and just as this (gorgeous, BTW) 45-year-old woman walks by, my daughter rips one. And a LOUD one. So guess who looked like the 33-year-old pig standing there farting in Sears? Yah, ME.

[LabRat]

This morning my 2 yr old daughter was intently watching my husband shave using white shaving cream. She said he was shaving the snow off of his face. I said in my best mommy tone, "yes, it looks like snow, but he's actually using --sha-ving--cream-- "(emphasizing the new vocabulary words like all the books say...) She looked me straight in the eye and said in her best matter of fact, you don't know WHAT your talking about mom voice, head cocked and bobbing, "No, he's shaving SNOW off". You had to hear it to appreciate it, but what really made me laugh, inside anyway, was how soon I am going to be getting the 'you don't know what you're talking about' tone from her on a regular basis. *sigh*.

[kerosene]

I have a 3 year old son, a 3 year old step-son and a 6 year old step-daughter. Both of the boys have been going through the talk-about-pee-and-poop-nonstop phase and they are both fascinated with their own winkies.

We went on a road trip recently where we made several potty stops at small town gas stations. One of such stops was particularly funny: We all go into the gas station and my bf takes the boys to the potty, while my step-daughter goes to the girls' room. my step son and son are the first ones out and they have to go *everywhere* together when they are around each other. They are walking around the store chanting about how they went poop and pee and my step son suddenly chants "I eat weenie!" (I think this happened because they heard the oscar mayer weiner song somewhere along the way.) Then my bf is paying for gas and various child pacifying candies and my step-son suddenly decides to whip his winkie right out of his pants in front of everyone in the store. The only thing I could think to say was "Put that back!"

On the way back home yesterday, out in the middle of nowhere, suddenly my son had to go potty. And when he finally tells me he has to go, it's the last minute. There wasn't anyway he was going to hold it till the next town. So, he had to water the ditch. He hadn't done this before. He asked my bf if he could show me how to do it, so I could help him with it. I told him, "sweety, I don't have a winkie." He said "Yes you do, Mom. You have a winkie, too." I kept trying to explain how boys have winkies and girls don't, but he was insistent that girls have winkies too. It just struck me as funny.

My son is really into astronomy right now...he loves going out and looking at the stars and looking at pictures of planets in books. He told me he wanted to go to Saturn (pronounced Sa-tur-in in his words.) I told him he could do that someday, that he could be an astronaught. He asked me when and I said when you become an adult and get big like your daddy. I also mentioned how he might someday get married and have kids, too, if he wants to. He asked me "Can I marry my girlfriend?" I told him "yes, someday you might marry your girlfriend." I remembered his dad had told me that he had told him that someone from teen-titans was his girlfriend, so I asked him "Isn't Starscream your girlfriend?" Then he said in an annoyed tone "Mom! Starscream is a *transformer*! He's not a marrier."
Apparently I got the name wrong.

[Undertoad]

We had a few of those transformers here too... none of them was a marrier either

[zippyt]

A little older, a little more confused

Is this a telling tale on you ?????