You know you're Australian if....

[xoxoxoBruce]

From.
1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

[Juniper]

Wow. You know, I really, really have to visit there someday, and I might not come back.

[Aliantha]

The funny thing is that as an Australian it all makes sense.

[Sundae]

I thought beetroot on burgers was a Kiwi thing.
I stand corrected.

Either way

[Trilby]

Huh. What is a beetroot? Is it like Ketchup?

[Treasenuak]

Bri... "beetroot" translates to our beets. Those purple vegetables that you can pickle and that WE usually put on salads. Yes, I had to call an Aussie to translate over half that list

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I thought beetroot on burgers was a Kiwi thing.
I stand corrected.

Either way

It is, at least when I was there. But maybe they do it in Oz too.

[Juniper]

You really put beets on hamburgers? Are they pickled? Sounds intriguing.

[bluecuracao]

Huh, I thought "youse" was just a silly Philly native term.

[Treasenuak]

Nope, the pickled ones don't go on the hamburger, if I understand correctly. Just the raw ones. Ugh.

[glatt]

It's an interesting taste. I wouldn't eat hamburgers that way all the time, but trying it was kind of neat.

[Aliantha]

Usually it's canned beetroot on a burger, and if I'm correct, they're boiled in vinegar, so yes, they're pickled...more or less anyway.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

I'd understood them to be pickled also, from a friend who spent most of a year Down Under fairly recently.

Ugg Boots are downtown wear in at least parts of Southern California. Too, in SoCal you're fairly formal if you put a tie on over your t-shirt and are shod in something other than sandals or flip-flops/go-aheads/thongs.

The river-expedition-raffish look of the knee-length or longer shorts adorned with cargo pockets both sides, flap pockets on the butt optional, is become three-season wear nowadays. Has this look hit Oz yet, Ali?

And when the weather gets what passes for cold here, we keep the adventure shorts and throw on a jacket over everything. A hat, a jacket -- and bare knees. Socks not always.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

The river-expedition-raffish look of the knee-length or longer shorts adorned with cargo pockets both sides, flap pockets on the butt optional, is become three-season wear nowadays. Has this look hit Oz yet, Ali?

I think this is where it originated. lol That fashion has been over here for probably 8 - 10 years maybe? It started with board shorts getting longer and longer, then they started making 'cargo style' pants out of board short material. I think because it's light weight and if you decide you want to go for a swim you just need to take your shirt off. At least, that's my thoughts on why it happened.

And when the weather gets what passes for cold here, we keep the adventure shorts and throw on a jacket over everything. A hat, a jacket -- and bare knees. Socks not always.

That's pretty much what happens here. You have your warm weather clothes, and then you just chuck a jumper on over the top on the really cold days. People buy coats and stuff - mainly because they're fashionable - but there's really only a few weeks of the year where you can wear them if you live in the northern states. Down south they get plenty of wear though. Contrary to popular understanding, there are some areas of Australia that stay pretty cool almost all year round.

[DanaC]

Nos. 6, 23, 25, 35, 38, 40 and 41 also apply to Brits.

Especially 23. And the thing is it is absolutely true! Wagon Wheels are smaller! I fucking know they are. We all do.


Oh...and the word 'youse' is used by some (including me). It made it into my family when my eldest niece was about 4 years old and decided it was the appropriate way to address more than one person :P It stuck. Since then I have noticed a fair few people using it, though usually with their tongue in their cheek.