Teaching how to drink beer

Big Sarge · 08-28-2013, 02:51 PM

Elizabeth and I have a quandary. We have been trying to teach her chickens to drink beer, but we are having very little success. These are the same transgendered chickens I have discussed earlier. Does anyone have any ideas?

BTW, we have been conducting some fascinating psychological experiments. I believe we are making some outstanding discoveries in chicken psychology.

Gravdigr · 08-28-2013, 04:02 PM

Have you tried German dance music?

Griff · 08-28-2013, 04:58 PM

I won't ask why but have you mixed it with corn meal?

BigV · 08-28-2013, 05:28 PM

What about a number six? First, you pull a mike the headless chicken on them, then get a funnel!

others, myself included, have had great success with this recipe.

sexobon · 08-28-2013, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

... We have been trying to teach her chickens to drink beer ... I believe we are making some outstanding discoveries in chicken psychology.

Put the beer on the other side of the road.

lumberjim · 08-28-2013, 11:01 PM

Seems like an obvious solution right there

Sundae · 08-29-2013, 03:42 AM

Hide the beer away. Lock it away if possible. Provide the chickens with rudimentary tools.

Worked for every teen party I ever went to.
I'm sure escapees from Colditz learned their skills trying to break into their parents' secret stashes.

Anyway, photos pleeze.
Elizabeth and chickens and you (probably best not to photog beer in case the chickens get internet savvy)

BigV · 08-29-2013, 10:45 AM

But those kids at the party weren't chicken, "I'm NOT CHICKEN I TELL YOU!!"

Gravdigr · 08-29-2013, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

What about a number six?!

Uh...That ain't a Number Six.

Big Sarge · 08-30-2013, 11:33 AM

Colditz - I haven't thought about that in years. Great book.

We have learned a few things. You have to open the bottles for the chickens. They will not drink it straight or eat it mixed with scratch. The secret is bread. Soak the bread in beer and they love it. Interesting note, after they have their beer they sit around and "growl". No clucking or crowing, only strange growls.

Two questions:
1. How much beer do they need to consume before they produce beer infused eggs?
2. What happens if they become alcoholics? Are there any programs?

Lola Bunny · 08-30-2013, 12:09 PM

you're really bored, aren't ya, Sarge?

Big Sarge · 08-30-2013, 12:21 PM

Yep. I'm rather lost without the military. I don't seem to have an identity anymore. I have one slim chance of getting a deployment to a non-austere area for 6 months, but it is a hail Mary pass and would be the very last one. Without the military or police, I have no friends or life

Sundae · 08-30-2013, 12:22 PM

You have friends.
And you have family.

Therefore you have a life.

Gravdigr · 08-30-2013, 12:45 PM

Life is what you make it. Somebody said that. The key word here is make.

Make your life, don't wait for it.

Gravdigr · 08-30-2013, 12:46 PM

Hell, if it don't suit ya, don't even accept it.

08-28-2013, 02:51 PM	#1
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Teaching how to drink beer Elizabeth and I have a quandary. We have been trying to teach her chickens to drink beer, but we are having very little success. These are the same transgendered chickens I have discussed earlier. Does anyone have any ideas? BTW, we have been conducting some fascinating psychological experiments. I believe we are making some outstanding discoveries in chicken psychology. __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

08-28-2013, 04:02 PM	#2
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Have you tried German dance music? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-28-2013, 04:58 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I won't ask why but have you mixed it with corn meal? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

08-28-2013, 05:28 PM	#4
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	What about a number six? First, you pull a mike the headless chicken on them, then get a funnel! others, myself included, have had great success with this recipe. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-28-2013, 11:01 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Seems like an obvious solution right there __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

08-29-2013, 03:42 AM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Hide the beer away. Lock it away if possible. Provide the chickens with rudimentary tools. Worked for every teen party I ever went to. I'm sure escapees from Colditz learned their skills trying to break into their parents' secret stashes. Anyway, photos pleeze. Elizabeth and chickens and you (probably best not to photog beer in case the chickens get internet savvy) __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-29-2013, 10:45 AM	#8
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	But those kids at the party weren't chicken, "I'm NOT CHICKEN I TELL YOU!!" __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-30-2013, 11:33 AM	#10
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Colditz - I haven't thought about that in years. Great book. We have learned a few things. You have to open the bottles for the chickens. They will not drink it straight or eat it mixed with scratch. The secret is bread. Soak the bread in beer and they love it. Interesting note, after they have their beer they sit around and "growl". No clucking or crowing, only strange growls. Two questions: 1. How much beer do they need to consume before they produce beer infused eggs? 2. What happens if they become alcoholics? Are there any programs? __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

08-30-2013, 12:09 PM	#11
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	you're really bored, aren't ya, Sarge?

08-30-2013, 12:21 PM	#12
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Yep. I'm rather lost without the military. I don't seem to have an identity anymore. I have one slim chance of getting a deployment to a non-austere area for 6 months, but it is a hail Mary pass and would be the very last one. Without the military or police, I have no friends or life __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

08-30-2013, 12:22 PM	#13
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	You have friends. And you have family. Therefore you have a life. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-30-2013, 12:45 PM	#14
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Life is what you make it. Somebody said that. The key word here is make. Make your life, don't wait for it. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-30-2013, 12:46 PM	#15
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Hell, if it don't suit ya, don't even accept it. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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