Keeping up the Stereotypes

[monster]

I'm a Brit in America. Like most, you will see me with a travel mug in the morning, but it will contain tea. Real tea -none of this namby-pampy antioximoxipoxiagentium pomegranate and gnat's cum infusion business.

What do you do to keep up the stereotype?

[Undertoad]

I like this thread idea, and will not derail it by pointing out that tea has 8-10 times the antioxidants as fruits and veggies, or that J bought some excellent loose teas at Harrods and brought them back for a gift for me.

As a white, male American, I do my best to feel absolutely entitled at all times.

As a central Pennsylvanian, in the tradition of the Pennsylvania Dutch, I sometimes eat meat products that people find to be horrible, such as Lebanon bologna and scrapple.

As a musician, I smoke weed. Don't hate me, it helps me deal with some side effects of my legal medication.

[DanaC]

Hmmm.

As a Brit, I drink a lot of tea.

As a working-class northerner, I drink it out of a large mug, rather than a tea cup.

As a student, I sleep late and smoke pot.

As a teacher, I have appalling handwriting.

[Aliantha]

As an Australian, i like to drink booze and swear a lot. I also like to add an a or an o to the end of peoples names.

[DanaC]

Oh yeah, and as a woman, I have zero sense of direction and a complete incapacity for using maps.

[lumberjim]

As a (eventual) divorcee, I have a younger, blonde girlfriend? And a motorcycle.

[Lamplighter]

As a member of Toastmasters, I often discuss things by giving 3 answers to almost any question.

As a professor, I have a beard, wear wrinkled clothes, used to smoke a pipe.
As a state employee, I carry a cell phone and a pen in my shirt pocket,
- and despise elected politicians who want to run government as a business
As a businessman, I smile a lot, pay attention to $, and talk as if taxes are too high.

As a westerner, I go camping and fishing and prefer traveling by car
As a dog owner, I have Labrador Retrievers, and little tolerance for cats and none for caged birds
As a liberal, I'm a news junkie, and drive a pickup with bumper stickers that poke fun at the GOP

As an adult married male, I try to fix things around the house.
As a grandfather, I give stuff away to my g-kids when they visit
As a husband I love and kiss my wife daily, and pretend she is always right

[Clodfobble]

As a mom... I drive a minivan, live in the suburbs, and enroll my children in hoity-toity extracurriculars like violin lessons and Tae Kwon Do.

As a Texan... I say y'all, rode horses throughout my youth including rodeo barrel races, and have worn a cowboy hat on a regular basis. My father wears cowboy boots every single day.

[Happy Monkey]

As a computer programmer, I am a fat, white, single man in my 30s who has long hair and likes science fiction and computer games. And, while Mountain Dew isn't my beverage of choice, it's up there.

[Chocolatl]

As an Asian-American who wears glasses... I was a straight A student in every subject in school.

(Hmm... this is harder than I thought it'd be...)

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

As a computer programmer, I am a fat, white, single man in my 30s who has long hair and likes science fiction and computer games. And, while Mountain Dew isn't my beverage of choice, it's up there.

Be careful you don't wind up being a serial killer.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Chocolatl

(Hmm... this is harder than I thought it'd be...)

I mentioned this thread to Mr. Clod, saying that I couldn't think of any stereotypically-woman things that applied to me.

He encouragingly suggested, "Well, everyone knows women can't be funny, so there's that."

[glatt]

I'm a middle aged white guy working in a high powered law firm in the city, and I donate money occasionally to food banks and homeless shelters so I won't feel guilty walking past dozens of homeless people on a daily basis.

[Perry Winkle]

The only ones I've come up with for myself:

As an ultramarathon runner (however poor at that I am) I will suggest that you train for an ultramarathon no matter how fit you are. If you are training for your first 5k I will earnestly insist that if you train for another month or two you can run your first ultramarathon.

As a trail runner I am baffled that people run on roads as anything other than a means to get to the trailhead. A road marathon is almost incomprehensible, though I have run one out of a sense of perversity.

(My wife's friend is a pretty fast runner. She does half-marathons. Has never run trails. I convinced her to go run trails with my wife. The poor woman fell and got 11 stitches. Woops.)

[Lamplighter]

<snip>
(My wife's friend is a pretty fast runner. She does half-marathons.
Has never run trails. I convinced her to go run trails with my wife.
The poor woman fell and got 11 stitches. Woops.)
__________________
"You can survive by being popular, or by being superior,
but alternatives that are neither popular nor superior quickly go extinct."

PW, is your sig line coincidental, or did your wife write that for you after the fall ?