Ask the Transparent

footfootfoot · 07-09-2015, 09:32 AM

Clearly, you're in for some dad jokes.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent

glatt · 07-09-2015, 11:39 AM

Nice!

Bathrooms and dinosaurs. The perfect combination for kids' humor.

Clodfobble · 07-09-2015, 12:44 PM

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

Gravdigr · 07-09-2015, 04:14 PM

Why can't you hear rabbits screw?

They have cotton balls.

lumberjim · 07-09-2015, 05:27 PM

My best Dad joke perpetrated to date:

this was only a few months ago.... in April or May.... The kids and I were ate Wegman's and Spencer picked up a vacuum pack of 5 ears of corn. All pre-husked and perfect. 5 ears for $4.99.

I said, "wow. That's expensive. But it IS Pirate Corn." and dummied up.

He said, 'Pirate Corn?'

"Yeah, it's a buck-an-ear"

He hi fived me

~credit to Perth.

Clodfobble · 07-09-2015, 05:32 PM

What happens if you don't pay the exorcist?

They'll repossess the house.

sexobon · 07-09-2015, 05:59 PM

When kids have a runny nose and the sniffles I tell them:

You know what they say, if your nose runs and your feet smell ... you're upside down!

monster · 07-09-2015, 06:23 PM

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?

Doyouthineksaurus

monster · 07-09-2015, 06:44 PM

A man on the street, dressed only in saran wrap, was brought to the psych ward. The doctor came in to see him, looked down, and said, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts

The invisible man married the invisible woman. the kids were nothing to look at either.

Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

footfootfoot · 07-10-2015, 03:43 PM

Did you hear about the marriage between a car antenna and satellite dish? The wedding was so so, but the reception was fantastic!

wolf · 08-08-2015, 01:33 PM

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
HIPPA
HIPPA who?
I can't tell you.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

Gravdigr · 08-08-2015, 02:32 PM

HIPAA?

Lamplighter · 08-08-2015, 02:36 PM

federal health plan rules - medical confidentiality

Gravdigr · 08-08-2015, 02:57 PM

Yeah, but, I was wondering if that was what Wolf meant.

HIPPA vs. HIPAA

monster · 08-08-2015, 07:39 PM

What color is Sherlock Holmes' front door?

Yellow

Why?

It's a Lemon Entry, my dear Watson.

07-09-2015, 09:32 AM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Ask the Transparent Clearly, you're in for some dad jokes. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-09-2015, 12:44 PM	#3
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-09-2015, 04:14 PM	#4
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Why can't you hear rabbits screw? They have cotton balls. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

07-09-2015, 05:27 PM	#5
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	My best Dad joke perpetrated to date: this was only a few months ago.... in April or May.... The kids and I were ate Wegman's and Spencer picked up a vacuum pack of 5 ears of corn. All pre-husked and perfect. 5 ears for $4.99. I said, "wow. That's expensive. But it IS Pirate Corn." and dummied up. He said, 'Pirate Corn?' "Yeah, it's a buck-an-ear" He hi fived me ~credit to Perth. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-09-2015, 05:32 PM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	What happens if you don't pay the exorcist? They'll repossess the house. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-09-2015, 11:39 AM	#2
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Nice! Bathrooms and dinosaurs. The perfect combination for kids' humor.

07-09-2015, 05:59 PM	#7
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	When kids have a runny nose and the sniffles I tell them: You know what they say, if your nose runs and your feet smell ... you're upside down!

07-09-2015, 06:23 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthineksaurus __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-09-2015, 06:44 PM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	A man on the street, dressed only in saran wrap, was brought to the psych ward. The doctor came in to see him, looked down, and said, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts The invisible man married the invisible woman. the kids were nothing to look at either. Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-10-2015, 03:43 PM	#10
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Did you hear about the marriage between a car antenna and satellite dish? The wedding was so so, but the reception was fantastic! __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-08-2015, 01:33 PM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Knock, knock. Who's there? HIPPA HIPPA who? I can't tell you. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-08-2015, 02:32 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	HIPAA? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-08-2015, 02:36 PM	#13
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	federal health plan rules - medical confidentiality

08-08-2015, 02:57 PM	#14
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Yeah, but, I was wondering if that was what Wolf meant. HIPPA vs. HIPAA __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-08-2015, 07:39 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	What color is Sherlock Holmes' front door? Yellow Why? It's a Lemon Entry, my dear Watson. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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