Dumb things the spew from your mouth

DucksNuts · 04-12-2007, 10:15 PM

I'm having a really bad bimbo run lately and I want you guys to make me feel better about some of the dumb things I have/do say....

Todays little gem....

"That just fat in there!!"

In response to my boss shoving $4500 cash down my cleavage and commenting that it was the most money that had been down there...."tis not, I've had more in there"..."b/s, you couldnt fit more than a $50 in there"....

Aliantha · 04-12-2007, 10:37 PM

Hmmmm...

DucksNuts · 04-12-2007, 11:17 PM

Oh c'mon, I know you have some little gems in there somewhere.

Aliantha · 04-12-2007, 11:26 PM

Yes, like the fact that I reminded my boss it's Friday the 13th today and ten minutes later she fell down the stairs and got taken off by an ambulance?

Bullitt · 04-13-2007, 12:18 AM

Told my roommate that all this green tea I've been drinking is making my piss really yellow and smelly right as a tour of high schoolers were walking by the open door of my dorm room. Got some funny looks

04-13-2007, 01:40 AM

For that jack, I would fit it in mine.
I said "smell my finger" to my wife yesterday. She would not. She is a chicken-shit.

tissy_uk · 04-13-2007, 04:14 AM

I do it all the time, i have foot in mouth disease, my excuse is that i was born blonde, till i realise that i'm saying it to a blonde & have offended them!

DanaC · 04-13-2007, 05:43 AM

Umm.....ducks......why is your boss shoving money down your cleavage? in my experience most bosses use a payroll.

footfootfoot · 04-13-2007, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Umm.....ducks......why is your boss shoving money down your cleavage? in my experience most bosses use a payroll.

Payrolls are only for girls w/o cleavage.

Aliantha · 04-13-2007, 06:46 AM

Here's one for you.

When I was a little kid of about 6 or 7 I got into mum's make up while mum and dad were having a dinner party. I was so proud of myself when I was done that I decided to parade myself in front of the grown ups.

Of course there was polite giggling etc and then Dad told me to go wash my face and go to bed.

I was so mortified that I retorted with, "What's wrong with kids committing adultery?"

footfootfoot · 04-13-2007, 08:28 AM

dumb things I've spewn.

DanaC · 04-13-2007, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Payrolls are only for girls w/o cleavage.

Damn! I always suspected as much!

Madman · 04-13-2007, 11:49 AM

Pics?

in advance...

Perry Winkle · 04-13-2007, 07:30 PM

8th grade, 0 hour (an hour of class before regular classes [yes, I was still a fool for school then]): I was using my toes to lift the desk of the girl in front of me. She was leaning forward so hardly any of her weight was in the chair. At one point she put her weight over the back of the chair, and when I tried to lift again it was hard. I said, "Wow, heavy!", she said, "are you calling me fat?", and I was too mortified about having possibly been taken as having said something that mean that I couldn't say a thing. No apology. No denial. No compliment. To this day I feel bad about it. I think, and hope, she was joking.

What's funny is the girl was probably the most athletic girl in the school. Slender, blond and gorgeous.

Clodfobble · 04-13-2007, 09:19 PM

My mother-in-law, a teacher, has a picture of her two oldest grandkids (my two stepkids) on her desk at school. She was telling me with utter jubilation about how a fellow teacher had commented on what a strong resemblance the kids had to my husband.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Psh, yeah, she was just being polite."

It's important to note that I was being completely honest, and my husband agrees with me on this--the kids are half-Asian and they don't look a thing like him, at all. Not even in more subtle ways like face-shape or whatever. But trust me, you don't want to go telling a grandmother that her grandkids have no family resemblance. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't forgiven me for it.

04-12-2007, 10:15 PM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Dumb things the spew from your mouth I'm having a really bad bimbo run lately and I want you guys to make me feel better about some of the dumb things I have/do say.... Todays little gem.... "That just fat in there!!" In response to my boss shoving $4500 cash down my cleavage and commenting that it was the most money that had been down there...."tis not, I've had more in there"..."b/s, you couldnt fit more than a $50 in there"....

04-12-2007, 10:37 PM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Hmmmm... __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-12-2007, 11:26 PM	#4
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Yes, like the fact that I reminded my boss it's Friday the 13th today and ten minutes later she fell down the stairs and got taken off by an ambulance? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-13-2007, 12:18 AM	#5
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Told my roommate that all this green tea I've been drinking is making my piss really yellow and smelly right as a tour of high schoolers were walking by the open door of my dorm room. Got some funny looks __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

04-13-2007, 04:14 AM	#7
tissy_uk Cantankerous Incantonator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Leicester, UK Posts: 57	I do it all the time, i have foot in mouth disease, my excuse is that i was born blonde, till i realise that i'm saying it to a blonde & have offended them! __________________ "Some people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience" Doug Larson

04-12-2007, 11:17 PM	#3
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Oh c'mon, I know you have some little gems in there somewhere.

04-13-2007, 01:40 AM	#6
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	For that jack, I would fit it in mine. I said "smell my finger" to my wife yesterday. She would not. She is a chicken-shit.

04-13-2007, 05:43 AM	#8
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Umm.....ducks......why is your boss shoving money down your cleavage? in my experience most bosses use a payroll.

04-13-2007, 06:46 AM	#10
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Here's one for you. When I was a little kid of about 6 or 7 I got into mum's make up while mum and dad were having a dinner party. I was so proud of myself when I was done that I decided to parade myself in front of the grown ups. Of course there was polite giggling etc and then Dad told me to go wash my face and go to bed. I was so mortified that I retorted with, "What's wrong with kids committing adultery?" __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-13-2007, 08:28 AM	#11
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	dumb things I've spewn. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-13-2007, 11:49 AM	#13
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	Pics? in advance...

04-13-2007, 07:30 PM	#14
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	8th grade, 0 hour (an hour of class before regular classes [yes, I was still a fool for school then]): I was using my toes to lift the desk of the girl in front of me. She was leaning forward so hardly any of her weight was in the chair. At one point she put her weight over the back of the chair, and when I tried to lift again it was hard. I said, "Wow, heavy!", she said, "are you calling me fat?", and I was too mortified about having possibly been taken as having said something that mean that I couldn't say a thing. No apology. No denial. No compliment. To this day I feel bad about it. I think, and hope, she was joking. What's funny is the girl was probably the most athletic girl in the school. Slender, blond and gorgeous.

04-13-2007, 09:19 PM	#15
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	My mother-in-law, a teacher, has a picture of her two oldest grandkids (my two stepkids) on her desk at school. She was telling me with utter jubilation about how a fellow teacher had commented on what a strong resemblance the kids had to my husband. I rolled my eyes and said, "Psh, yeah, she was just being polite." It's important to note that I was being completely honest, and my husband agrees with me on this--the kids are half-Asian and they don't look a thing like him, at all. Not even in more subtle ways like face-shape or whatever. But trust me, you don't want to go telling a grandmother that her grandkids have no family resemblance. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't forgiven me for it.

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