Dear John...

Trilby · 05-11-2010, 03:40 PM

Would you write a Dear John/Johnette letter to someone you wanted to be DONE with or would you just let the relationship die a natural death- as that is the way it is anyway (as in: a dead relationship - a non-relationship - a relationship that is NO MORE) ?

Sometimes I feel compelled to "sum up" as it were - and to lend some offical finality to the thing - but then I wonder if I'm just fooling myself.

What would you do?

monster · 05-11-2010, 03:44 PM

depends if they kept bugging me once I was done.

Cloud · 05-11-2010, 04:39 PM

no. bad for your karma

xoxoxoBruce · 05-11-2010, 07:38 PM

Write it, but don't send it. Satisfies your need for closure, and doesn't stir up any... ~~shit~~ bad karma.

Cloud · 05-11-2010, 07:45 PM

after thinking about this, I'm going to change my answer a bit.

If this is a situation where you have already discussed your feelings, the status of your non-relationship, etc., and the other person already knows and understands, then fine--you don't need to belabor the point.

But don't leave the person going, WTF? If they have no idea why you are not calling, then you need to be honest and make it clear what's going on.

Cicero · 05-12-2010, 12:37 AM

Verbal Break-Up. Dear John letters amount to what was wrong with them. It's good enough to break up, and not put all their perceived faults in writing.

I like the idea of writing it and never sending it, as you need closure, after the verbal "talk".

Or you could just let the relationship suffer a slooooooow and tedious.....death. (not advised)

I mean, what if you just didn't like him very much? Or you were incompatible in some insignificant but incredibly annoying way? No need to pass out the hand-out. Give a call, meet, whatever, and let it be known you aren't interested. Be honest. Maybe they feel the same.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-12-2010, 01:33 AM

By the way, are you really thinking of writing in hopes of rekindling his interest?

Tulip · 05-12-2010, 02:48 AM

Write it in a blog....

hehehe....I'm just joking around. Seriously, putting it down somewhere may help you get it off your chest. However, bad karma is never a good thing to mess with.

Trilby · 05-12-2010, 07:05 AM

I like the 'write but don't send' idea. that will help me and spare him.

monster · 05-12-2010, 07:09 AM

send it to post secret

glatt · 05-12-2010, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

send it to post secret

Oh, good one.

Spexxvet · 05-12-2010, 08:21 AM

If you're really done, you shouldn't do anything else. Writing something is a continuation, not an end.

05-11-2010, 03:40 PM	#1
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Dear John... Would you write a Dear John/Johnette letter to someone you wanted to be DONE with or would you just let the relationship die a natural death- as that is the way it is anyway (as in: a dead relationship - a non-relationship - a relationship that is NO MORE) ? Sometimes I feel compelled to "sum up" as it were - and to lend some offical finality to the thing - but then I wonder if I'm just fooling myself. What would you do? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-11-2010, 03:44 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	depends if they kept bugging me once I was done. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-11-2010, 04:39 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	no. bad for your karma __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-11-2010, 07:38 PM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Write it, but don't send it. Satisfies your need for closure, and doesn't stir up any... ~~shit~~ bad karma. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-11-2010, 07:45 PM	#5
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	after thinking about this, I'm going to change my answer a bit. If this is a situation where you have already discussed your feelings, the status of your non-relationship, etc., and the other person already knows and understands, then fine--you don't need to belabor the point. But don't leave the person going, WTF? If they have no idea why you are not calling, then you need to be honest and make it clear what's going on. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-12-2010, 12:37 AM	#6
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Verbal Break-Up. Dear John letters amount to what was wrong with them. It's good enough to break up, and not put all their perceived faults in writing. I like the idea of writing it and never sending it, as you need closure, after the verbal "talk". Or you could just let the relationship suffer a slooooooow and tedious.....death. (not advised) I mean, what if you just didn't like him very much? Or you were incompatible in some insignificant but incredibly annoying way? No need to pass out the hand-out. Give a call, meet, whatever, and let it be known you aren't interested. Be honest. Maybe they feel the same. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

05-12-2010, 01:33 AM	#7
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	By the way, are you really thinking of writing in hopes of rekindling his interest? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-12-2010, 02:48 AM	#8
Tulip Professor Join Date: May 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,293	Write it in a blog.... hehehe....I'm just joking around. Seriously, putting it down somewhere may help you get it off your chest. However, bad karma is never a good thing to mess with.

05-12-2010, 07:05 AM	#9
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I like the 'write but don't send' idea. that will help me and spare him. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-12-2010, 07:09 AM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	send it to post secret __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-12-2010, 08:21 AM	#12
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	If you're really done, you shouldn't do anything else. Writing something is a continuation, not an end. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

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