Relationship....

morethanpretty · 04-28-2013, 10:27 AM

I'm ready for one. I'm tired of hookups and fwbs who are flakes or hard the schedule with. Yes, relationships have their own issues, but I'd rather deal with issues in a real relationship than all the other issues with flakes.

infinite monkey · 04-28-2013, 11:04 AM

well don't sell yourself short for that 'relationship.' get right with yourself first, please.

and watch out for flakes that you can surely attract in the nsfw thread, and any real life similar situations. just sayin'

i love ya girl, i just think you should be taking smaller steps right now. just my experience and ymmv.

richlevy · 04-28-2013, 11:09 AM

I agree with IM. Take your time. My wife and I dated for a few years and we were engaged for 19 months. We'll be celebrating 30 years in August.

You have to know yourself before you can know anyone else. Give yourself some time to get your balance back.

You have a lot going for you, so you will find someone who appreciates you.

BTW, when you are ready, don't go to bars. Go to book discussions, art shows, cooking classes, or some gathering that reflects your personal interests. Hopefully the guys you find there will share some of your interests for real, instead of just faking it.

morethanpretty · 04-28-2013, 11:20 AM

Oh I guess I should say I don't want to jump into anything quick like, just more I want to get away from the hook ups and fwb and start trying "real" dating. I know I have a lot of work on myself, but I will always be working on myself. I'm not trying to take leaps and bounds.

Gravdigr · 04-28-2013, 02:02 PM

My immediate advice would be to stop being friends with/hooking up with flakes.

bbro · 04-28-2013, 02:37 PM

I am right with you mtp - just got out of a fwb because I found out he has had a gf since Jan - pretty sure I was the other woman during that time.

I just want something meaningful with someone I can trust. Done with the random sex to the point I got off birth control because I don't want it.

I miss the feeling of being cared for - you know, before the heart break. I am working on myself, too, but it helps to have someone to lean on. It gets old being alone.

morethanpretty · 04-29-2013, 09:55 AM

I've just broken it off with my fwb. He wanted to come over for a lunch quickie and I told him I was tired of doing that. The conversation went on for a bit where he even told me he had wanted to tell me he loved me at times and blah blah blah. I made a clean break.

orthodoc · 04-29-2013, 06:15 PM

Fwb is a lie. It's benefits, not friends.

Women will never even get close to the ability that men have to compartmentalize sex and feel nothing. Women, sociopaths excepted, invest. Men should realize and respect that, and stay home if they're physically attracted but have no intention of investing.

That is all.

Gravdigr · 05-03-2013, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc

Fwb is a lie.

Only if one or both of you is lying.

To one another or each to themselves.

orthodoc · 05-03-2013, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Only if one or both of you is lying.

To one another or each to themselves.

Perhaps it's a matter of definitions. To one person, fwb may mean friends, actual friends who care about whether the other one is alive, or sick, or dead, and who can have affectionate good times without doing the Romeo & Juliet thing. To another, fwb could mean a 90-minute booty call every few weeks with zero contact in between. I suppose defining terms at the start is helpful.

Btw, Grav, I know men think that women only have to show up ... but somehow it doesn't work out that way. I have given up attempting to comprehend male/female relationships, however. Wiser and more experienced folks' opinions are worth far more than mine.

footfootfoot · 04-29-2013, 07:27 PM

I'm confused.

orthodoc · 04-29-2013, 09:18 PM

I've said this before - that honest women invest when a relationship gets physical. Men are capable of compartmentalizing their lives - of truly separating physical intimacy from emotional. Women, not so much.

Am I wrong about men? I don't mean to imply that their hearts can't be broken.

footfootfoot · 04-29-2013, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc

I've said this before - that honest women invest when a relationship gets physical. Men are capable of compartmentalizing their lives - of truly separating physical intimacy from emotional. Women, not so much.

Am I wrong about men? I don't mean to imply that their hearts can't be broken.

Men should realize and respect that, and stay home if they're physically attracted but have no intention of investing.

I thought I was supposed to not stay home any longer, because I have no intention of continuing to invest, despite my physical attraction.

Maybe instead of painting with this,
Name: arroworthy-olympian-oil-staining-brush-6-inch-sideview.jpg
Views: 309
Size: 99.3 KB

Name: arroworthy-olympian-oil-staining-brush-6-inch-sideview.jpg
Views: 309
Size: 99.3 KB

you could use this:
Name: 0-Dental-Finest-Sable-Brush-PB-S41-0.jpg
Views: 299
Size: 45.1 KB

xoxoxoBruce · 04-30-2013, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc

I've said this before - that honest women invest when a relationship gets physical. Men are capable of compartmentalizing their lives - of truly separating physical intimacy from emotional. Women, not so much.

Am I wrong about men? I don't mean to imply that their hearts can't be broken.

I think you're wrong to generalize that belief, and it stems from actions of the "bad boys", who all the girls seem to be gaga over.

Big Sarge · 04-29-2013, 10:13 PM

I guess I must have a strong feminine side

04-28-2013, 10:27 AM	#1
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	Relationship.... I'm ready for one. I'm tired of hookups and fwbs who are flakes or hard the schedule with. Yes, relationships have their own issues, but I'd rather deal with issues in a real relationship than all the other issues with flakes. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-28-2013, 11:09 AM	#3
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	I agree with IM. Take your time. My wife and I dated for a few years and we were engaged for 19 months. We'll be celebrating 30 years in August. You have to know yourself before you can know anyone else. Give yourself some time to get your balance back. You have a lot going for you, so you will find someone who appreciates you. BTW, when you are ready, don't go to bars. Go to book discussions, art shows, cooking classes, or some gathering that reflects your personal interests. Hopefully the guys you find there will share some of your interests for real, instead of just faking it. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

04-28-2013, 11:20 AM	#4
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	Oh I guess I should say I don't want to jump into anything quick like, just more I want to get away from the hook ups and fwb and start trying "real" dating. I know I have a lot of work on myself, but I will always be working on myself. I'm not trying to take leaps and bounds. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-28-2013, 02:02 PM	#5
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	My immediate advice would be to stop being friends with/hooking up with flakes. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-28-2013, 02:37 PM	#6
bbro Insert witty comment here Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,182	I am right with you mtp - just got out of a fwb because I found out he has had a gf since Jan - pretty sure I was the other woman during that time. I just want something meaningful with someone I can trust. Done with the random sex to the point I got off birth control because I don't want it. I miss the feeling of being cared for - you know, before the heart break. I am working on myself, too, but it helps to have someone to lean on. It gets old being alone. __________________ Camping

04-28-2013, 11:04 AM	#2
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	well don't sell yourself short for that 'relationship.' get right with yourself first, please. and watch out for flakes that you can surely attract in the nsfw thread, and any real life similar situations. just sayin' i love ya girl, i just think you should be taking smaller steps right now. just my experience and ymmv.

04-29-2013, 09:55 AM	#7
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I've just broken it off with my fwb. He wanted to come over for a lunch quickie and I told him I was tired of doing that. The conversation went on for a bit where he even told me he had wanted to tell me he loved me at times and blah blah blah. I made a clean break. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-29-2013, 06:15 PM	#8
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Fwb is a lie. It's benefits, not friends. Women will never even get close to the ability that men have to compartmentalize sex and feel nothing. Women, sociopaths excepted, invest. Men should realize and respect that, and stay home if they're physically attracted but have no intention of investing. That is all. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

04-29-2013, 07:27 PM	#11
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I'm confused. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-29-2013, 09:18 PM	#12
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	I've said this before - that honest women invest when a relationship gets physical. Men are capable of compartmentalizing their lives - of truly separating physical intimacy from emotional. Women, not so much. Am I wrong about men? I don't mean to imply that their hearts can't be broken. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

04-29-2013, 10:13 PM	#15
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	I guess I must have a strong feminine side __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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