A Modest Proposal...

Elspode · 02-06-2004, 08:36 PM

It has been brought to my attention that The Cellar is *only* in 18th place on Google hits for the phrase "Whale Penis". This is sad. In a community of fine minds and sick bastards, both living in peace and harmony, the fact that such an important niche is filled by some other web presence is intolerable, and must be changed.

Therefore, I would like to challenge all Cellarites to come up with an original, informative item on whale penises and post it here in this thread (or in another, if UT feels that this is too big of a waste of purpose for Cellar Comments and Suggestions).

I'd like to start this effort out by posting the following:

http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/...oducts_id=1590

My favorite part about this is the picture, which clearly states below "click to enlarge".

Edit Addendum: You'll note that I said 'original' item...clearly, I didn't mean for this to apply to me, because it would infer the expenditure of some sort of effort...

Why on Earth would you *need* to enlarge a whale penis?

Beestie · 02-07-2004, 02:24 AM

Quote:

In a community of fine minds and sick bastards

Speak for yourself, buddy.

wolf · 02-07-2004, 03:08 AM

TAGLINE!!!!

"a community of fine minds and sick bastards"

Pi · 02-07-2004, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elspode

I'd like to start this effort out by posting the following:

http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/...oducts_id=1590

Access denied

Proxy server = callisto
Time & Date = 1076146761; Sat Feb 7 10:39:21 2004
Client address = 172.16.20.197
Client group = RMA-all
URL = http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/...info.php?cPath
Target class = porn

Yeah thank you! Now I'm classified over here!!!

Elspode · 02-07-2004, 08:46 AM

Hey, you're only risking your life over there, Pi...why should you enjoy any of the freedoms you're sworn to protect?

In case you were wondering, it was a latex dildo alleged to resemble a whale penis.

I will endeavor to warn you about possible webfilterable content in the future, though.

wolf · 02-07-2004, 10:21 AM

It's hard to guess what will be caught by a filter.

I have several totally innocuous sites that I visit regularly that get blocked by our office netnanny ... and others that I have a hard time believing get though.

I think at least one of them gets blocked because the site author uses correct grammar, long words, and low-key colors.

lumberjim · 02-07-2004, 03:15 PM

imagine the plight of the poor whale
with a 12 foot penis and no hands
in jerking off they're destined to fail
no wonder they beach themselves on dry land

Undertoad · 02-07-2004, 03:20 PM

It isn't working... we've moved DOWN, and now we're 19th!

lumberjim · 02-07-2004, 03:36 PM

but you're now 7th for "the cellar"

elSicomoro · 02-07-2004, 03:38 PM

Eh, I'd go with "a community of sick minds and fine bastards."

elSicomoro · 02-08-2004, 08:02 PM

Now we're down to 20th...come on you bastards, help make the whale penis campaign a success!

wolf · 02-08-2004, 08:04 PM

Does it take something more than just constant repetition of whale penis in a variety of contexts to get advanced in the list?

What's the actual secret of success here?

elSicomoro · 02-08-2004, 08:09 PM

Google explained.

Hmmm...we might need to rethink this. UT, you should consider buying the words to advertise Cellar on Google.

wolf · 02-08-2004, 08:13 PM

It said down the bottom that you can't buy a higher page rank ... but I guess the door is open for outright bribery ...

Undertoad · 02-08-2004, 08:13 PM

That's already done.

02-06-2004, 08:36 PM	#1
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	A Modest Proposal... It has been brought to my attention that The Cellar is only in 18th place on Google hits for the phrase "Whale Penis". This is sad. In a community of fine minds and sick bastards, both living in peace and harmony, the fact that such an important niche is filled by some other web presence is intolerable, and must be changed. Therefore, I would like to challenge all Cellarites to come up with an original, informative item on whale penises and post it here in this thread (or in another, if UT feels that this is too big of a waste of purpose for Cellar Comments and Suggestions). I'd like to start this effort out by posting the following: http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/...oducts_id=1590 My favorite part about this is the picture, which clearly states below "click to enlarge". Edit Addendum: You'll note that I said 'original' item...clearly, I didn't mean for this to apply to me, because it would infer the expenditure of some sort of effort... Why on Earth would you need to enlarge a whale penis? __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

02-07-2004, 03:08 AM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	TAGLINE!!!! "a community of fine minds and sick bastards" __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-07-2004, 08:46 AM	#5
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Hey, you're only risking your life over there, Pi...why should you enjoy any of the freedoms you're sworn to protect? In case you were wondering, it was a latex dildo alleged to resemble a whale penis. I will endeavor to warn you about possible webfilterable content in the future, though. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

02-07-2004, 10:21 AM	#6
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	It's hard to guess what will be caught by a filter. I have several totally innocuous sites that I visit regularly that get blocked by our office netnanny ... and others that I have a hard time believing get though. I think at least one of them gets blocked because the site author uses correct grammar, long words, and low-key colors. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-07-2004, 03:15 PM	#7
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	imagine the plight of the poor whale with a 12 foot penis and no hands in jerking off they're destined to fail no wonder they beach themselves on dry land __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-07-2004, 03:20 PM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	It isn't working... we've moved DOWN, and now we're 19th!

02-07-2004, 03:36 PM	#9
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	but you're now 7th for "the cellar" __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-07-2004, 03:38 PM	#10
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Eh, I'd go with "a community of sick minds and fine bastards."

02-08-2004, 08:02 PM	#11
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Now we're down to 20th...come on you bastards, help make the whale penis campaign a success!

02-08-2004, 08:04 PM	#12
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Does it take something more than just constant repetition of whale penis in a variety of contexts to get advanced in the list? What's the actual secret of success here? __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-08-2004, 08:09 PM	#13
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Google explained. Hmmm...we might need to rethink this. UT, you should consider buying the words to advertise Cellar on Google.

02-08-2004, 08:13 PM	#14
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	It said down the bottom that you can't buy a higher page rank ... but I guess the door is open for outright bribery ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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