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Old 03-15-2009, 09:59 PM   #1
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
You know you're getting on a bit when....

after petting your cat or dog, you leave more hairs on their coat than they do on yours...
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 03-15-2009, 10:17 PM   #2
Elspode
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
...when your corneas get hard but your cock doesn't.
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Old 03-15-2009, 10:35 PM   #3
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster
You know you're getting on a bit when....
SPEAK UP MISSY I CAN'T HEAR YOU
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:10 AM   #4
NoBoxes
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Originally Posted by SteveDallas View Post
SPEAK UP MISSY I CAN'T HEAR YOU
There, fixed it for us.
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Old 03-16-2009, 07:46 AM   #5
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
...you notice how young a policeman looks.

...you go to a festival and think the music is too loud.
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Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 03-16-2009, 07:57 AM   #6
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
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...you find yourself following the plot of the Archers (for the Brits).
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:15 AM   #7
capnhowdy
Blatantly Homosapien
 
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.... you need glasses to clean your glasses.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.
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Old 03-16-2009, 12:01 PM   #8
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
.... you need glasses to find your glasses.
fixed that for ya
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Old 03-16-2009, 12:07 PM   #9
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
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Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
...you make grunting noises when merely standing up out of a comfy chair.
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Old 03-16-2009, 04:00 PM   #10
sweetwater
lives inside a Mobius strip
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,120
You go to the zoo, and you feel smug & happy when you pull your AARP card out to get the discount on entry fees, and only later realize that they asked you if you had one first.
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:03 PM   #11
capnhowdy
Blatantly Homosapien
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
...when you place a mirror on the back of the toilet so you can admire your piss hard while it lasts.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:13 PM   #12
Decca
Resident Denizen
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: O'ahu, Hawaii
Posts: 63
...you sit down in a rocking chair and can't get it started.

...you see a pretty girl walk by, and your pacemaker raises the garage door.

...you sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak, and they stay there.

...you burn the midnight oil... until nine thirty.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:35 PM   #13
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
...when you worry that fucking the brains out of the younger guy who's been checking you out will ruin him for all the other girls he'll meet in his life.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:52 PM   #14
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 View Post
...when you worry that fucking the brains out of the younger guy who's been checking you out will ruin him for all the other girls he'll meet in his life.
you worry too much. That's his problem....
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:58 PM   #15
Decca
Resident Denizen
 
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I'm with Monster on this one, Shawnee. HE obviously thinks YOU are hot... why worry about the girls he MIGHT be with some day in the future? Knock his socks off already
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