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Old 03-17-2015, 06:44 PM   #5266
Gravdigr
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Old 03-17-2015, 06:58 PM   #5267
xoxoxoBruce
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But just one...
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
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Old 03-23-2015, 02:59 PM   #5268
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Old 03-26-2015, 08:16 PM   #5269
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Good idea.
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Old 03-27-2015, 06:23 AM   #5270
xoxoxoBruce
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Husband went to the Sheriff's Department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Colour of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Colour of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.

At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.
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Old 03-27-2015, 06:24 AM   #5271
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Heh.
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Old 03-27-2015, 12:20 PM   #5272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
...A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4...
Hey, somebody pick me up one of them pick-ups next time you go to town, and got an extra $65,000 in your pocket...Fukkit, just get two.
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Old 04-03-2015, 03:07 PM   #5273
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Old 04-12-2015, 12:26 PM   #5274
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:44 PM   #5275
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I bought one of those microwave fireplaces last week.

Now I can have a relaxing evening in front of the fire in just 20 minutes.
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:07 PM   #5276
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I keep waiting for a microwave freezer.

I need ice RFN!
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Old 04-22-2015, 03:41 PM   #5277
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Old 04-23-2015, 01:29 PM   #5278
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This sketch, from 'At Last, the 1948 Show' starred Tim-Brooke Taylor, John Cleese, Marty Feldman and Graham Chapman.
It portrays the briefing of undercover police disguised as provocatively dressed women.
Its humour lies more in the highly unprofessional acting than the script itself.
There's fluffed lines, ad libbing, corpsing, impromptu prompts and general anarchy. The outbreak of female aggression by Marty Feldman's character is particularly inspired.
Despite its title, the series dates from the late nineteen sixties or early seventies, and technical quality is poor. However, I think you'll find it worth investing five minutes of your time.

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Old 04-23-2015, 04:32 PM   #5279
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That was great!
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Old 04-23-2015, 09:21 PM   #5280
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