Humor...I Need Humor...

xoxoxoBruce · 03-27-2015, 05:23 AM

Husband went to the Sheriff's Department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Colour of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Colour of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.

At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.

Gravdigr · 03-27-2015, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

...A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4...

Hey, somebody pick me up one of them pick-ups next time you go to town, and got an extra $65,000 in your pocket...Fukkit, just get two.

Gravdigr · 04-03-2015, 02:07 PM

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Gravdigr · 04-12-2015, 11:26 AM

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Carruthers · 04-14-2015, 02:44 PM

I bought one of those microwave fireplaces last week.

Now I can have a relaxing evening in front of the fire in just 20 minutes.

03-27-2015, 05:23 AM	#1
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Husband went to the Sheriff's Department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes? Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed. Sergeant: Colour of hair? Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember. Sergeant: What was she wearing? Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly. Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in? Husband: She went in my truck. Sergeant: What kind of truck was it? Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting. At this point the husband started choking up. Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

04-03-2015, 02:07 PM	#3
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-12-2015, 11:26 AM	#4
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-14-2015, 02:44 PM	#5
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	I bought one of those microwave fireplaces last week. Now I can have a relaxing evening in front of the fire in just 20 minutes.

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