The 24 hour engagement.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by disenchanted

Doesn't seem like there's much hope in this crowd, and maybe it's because I still want to hang on to a little of that but don't have the distance to see it. Or, maybe there's a lot of people here that have their own scars...

It's because we all forget. Everyone can look back in their lives and see their own scars, and see how your situation is similar. We all forget just how blinding and hard it was to be in the situation at the time, so the advice given may come off as callous and too cut-and-dried. But even if everyone gave their advice as gently as possible, it wouldn't change the content of it.

Look at it this way: it's not that all of us want to crush all your hopes and dreams--it's that no one here has ever had an experience like yours that went on to become a successful and happy marriage. Like, if someone asked for advice over whether or not to date a coworker, a good number of people would say, "oh HELL no, that's a terrible idea," but at least a few would pipe up and say, "Hey, it worked for me and my spouse, happily married now for X years." Each of us is only providing advice based on what we've experienced in our individual lives. And if no one in a board with thousands of mature, rational adults has ever had a positive anecdote of this nature to encourage you with... well, that's the trend you're trying to interpret, isn't it?