Ima Die Now, Right?

Gravdigr · 09-04-2012, 04:24 PM

I just swallowed a big green housefly.

GACK!

Ima die now ain't I?

It was flyin around my monitor, I went for a half-hearted swat, made contact, and couldn't find it. I figured it flew along on it's merry way.

Then, a minute or two ago, I took another swig out of the glass on the desk (wtf, it's 5:00 somewhere, right?), and there was...how to describe it...a lump. A lump went cascading over my tongue. And down my throat.

I'd make myself throw up, but, throwing up makes me sick.

And now I keep hearing a tiny voice, deep down inside, saying "Help mee. Help meeee!"

That's my conscience, right? Please tell me it's my conscience.

limey · 09-04-2012, 04:43 PM

Ew. Gack. Just ew!

Sent by thought transference

Rhianne · 09-04-2012, 04:53 PM

Quick Grav, you need to swallow a spider to catch it!

glatt · 09-04-2012, 05:05 PM

It's true. Not shitting you. Find a spider. STAT.

Lamplighter · 09-04-2012, 05:38 PM

So long as there's no hook
- connected to a line
-- connected to a rod
--- connected to a fisherman,

you'll be fine.

Undertoad · 09-04-2012, 05:42 PM

Whiskey will make certain the bacteria in the bug are gone but you must drink lots of it immediately.

jimhelm · 09-04-2012, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

It's true. Not shitting you. Find a spider. STAT.

and then swallow a bird!

Razzmatazz13 · 09-04-2012, 07:45 PM

Swallow a cat to catch the bird!

John Sellers · 09-04-2012, 08:32 PM

To add a UT's answer, if it ends up in your stomach, your stomach acid will kill it.

ZenGum · 09-04-2012, 10:53 PM

Spray a big squirt of fly spray into your mouth, just to be safe.

sexobon · 09-04-2012, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

... I took another swig out of the glass on the desk (wtf, it's 5:00 somewhere, right?), and there was...how to describe it...a lump. A lump went cascading over my tongue. And down my throat. ...

So, the drink gave you a buzz.

John Sellers · 09-05-2012, 01:11 AM

Seems me and UT were the only two serious about helping Gravdigr.

monster · 09-05-2012, 07:34 AM

Please please please tell me that was an attempt at humor, JS

Clodfobble · 09-05-2012, 07:36 AM

It's only because we all quietly know that Grav's a dead man walking. Nothing you can do but be cheery, at that point. Don't let him know what's coming.

Razzmatazz13 · 09-05-2012, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

It's only because we all quietly know that Grav's a dead man walking. Nothing you can do but be cheery, at that point. Don't let him know what's coming.

Yeah seriously, JS... I mean don't rub it in for the poor guy. Just make him as comfortable as possible...

09-04-2012, 04:24 PM	#1
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Ima Die Now, Right? I just swallowed a big green housefly. GACK! Ima die now ain't I? It was flyin around my monitor, I went for a half-hearted swat, made contact, and couldn't find it. I figured it flew along on it's merry way. Then, a minute or two ago, I took another swig out of the glass on the desk (wtf, it's 5:00 somewhere, right?), and there was...how to describe it...a lump. A lump went cascading over my tongue. And down my throat. I'd make myself throw up, but, throwing up makes me sick. And now I keep hearing a tiny voice, deep down inside, saying "Help mee. Help meeee!" That's my conscience, right? Please tell me it's my conscience. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-04-2012, 04:43 PM	#2
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Ew. Gack. Just ew! Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

09-04-2012, 07:45 PM	#8
Razzmatazz13 Vicariously, I live... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,221	Swallow a cat to catch the bird! __________________ I have some people I need to have smoted. ~ SteveDallas

09-04-2012, 10:53 PM	#10
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Spray a big squirt of fly spray into your mouth, just to be safe. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

09-05-2012, 07:34 AM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Please please please tell me that was an attempt at humor, JS __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-04-2012, 04:53 PM	#3
Rhianne Nearly done. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Teetering on the edge. Posts: 1,134	Quick Grav, you need to swallow a spider to catch it!

09-04-2012, 05:05 PM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	It's true. Not shitting you. Find a spider. STAT.

09-04-2012, 05:38 PM	#5
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	So long as there's no hook - connected to a line -- connected to a rod --- connected to a fisherman, you'll be fine.

09-04-2012, 05:42 PM	#6
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Whiskey will make certain the bacteria in the bug are gone but you must drink lots of it immediately.

09-04-2012, 08:32 PM	#9
John Sellers Banned Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 807	To add a UT's answer, if it ends up in your stomach, your stomach acid will kill it.

09-05-2012, 01:11 AM	#12
John Sellers Banned Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 807	Seems me and UT were the only two serious about helping Gravdigr.

09-05-2012, 07:36 AM	#14
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	It's only because we all quietly know that Grav's a dead man walking. Nothing you can do but be cheery, at that point. Don't let him know what's coming. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

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