The utterly pointless Chuck Norris thread - Page 3

Trilby · 09-22-2006, 02:49 PM

Chuck Norris made a thread in which only macho guys (and one smokin' hot chick) would even think to reply to.

Ibby · 09-22-2006, 02:54 PM

Chuck Norris jokes are old.

I declare this henceforth as the Keith Richards thread.

90% of Keith Richards' blood isn't heroin... but 90% of heroin is Keith Richards' blood.

Elspode · 09-22-2006, 03:00 PM

In English, Methuselah translates as "Keith Richards".

Keith Richards has looked the same since he was 25 years old, when he was challenged by Chuck Norris to a guitar solo contest...which Norris won.

barefoot serpent · 09-22-2006, 03:01 PM

Chuck Norris shot-up all the heroin but was only mildly 'buzzed'.

lumberjim · 09-22-2006, 03:08 PM

Chuck Norris can get and does get blood from a stone, pulls teeth from a hen, and pisses up a rope. he enjoys the challenge.

dar512 · 09-22-2006, 03:28 PM

It is not true that the world is supported on the back of a giant turtle. It is supported on the back of Chuck Norris, so that he can get adequate exercise while doing push-ups.

Elspode · 09-22-2006, 03:38 PM

NASA announced today that, while the Shuttle has proven to be capable and reliable now that new safety procedures are in place, the proposed servicing mission for the Hubble Space Telescope will be facilitated by Chuck Norris, who will simply order it to "Halt!" and "Lie Down!" so that ground technicians can make the necessary repairs.

Undertoad · 09-22-2006, 03:39 PM

Chuck Norris drank out of my coffee mug. When he was done I took it back to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher, but it was already spotless, including coffee stains that had been on it for years.

Spexxvet · 09-22-2006, 03:56 PM

Chuck's penis is over a quarter mile long.

Spexxvet · 09-22-2006, 03:58 PM

Chuck's wife is a former embassador who spoke out against WMD in Iraq, but the Cheney administration has no plans to divulge Chuck's covert CIA affiliation

Elspode · 09-22-2006, 04:15 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't actually *need* to breathe, but he does so anyway to keep other people from feeling inferior.

Spexxvet · 09-22-2006, 05:08 PM

Chuck Norris assassinated JFK.

Spexxvet · 09-22-2006, 05:09 PM

Chuck Norris climbed out of my television and gave me the best head I ever got.

Spexxvet · 09-22-2006, 05:09 PM

Chuck Norris wears a leisure suit, and looks goooooood in it.

Urbane Guerrilla · 09-22-2006, 05:24 PM

Chuck Norris picked up Harlan Ellison, said "Hello," and put him back.

09-22-2006, 02:49 PM	#31
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Chuck Norris made a thread in which only macho guys (and one smokin' hot chick) would even think to reply to. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

09-22-2006, 02:54 PM	#32
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Chuck Norris jokes are old. I declare this henceforth as the Keith Richards thread. 90% of Keith Richards' blood isn't heroin... but 90% of heroin is Keith Richards' blood. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

09-22-2006, 03:00 PM	#33
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	In English, Methuselah translates as "Keith Richards". Keith Richards has looked the same since he was 25 years old, when he was challenged by Chuck Norris to a guitar solo contest...which Norris won. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

09-22-2006, 03:01 PM	#34
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	Chuck Norris shot-up all the heroin but was only mildly 'buzzed'. __________________ Chooses rowing vs. wading

09-22-2006, 03:08 PM	#35
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Chuck Norris can get and does get blood from a stone, pulls teeth from a hen, and pisses up a rope. he enjoys the challenge. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-22-2006, 03:28 PM	#36
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	It is not true that the world is supported on the back of a giant turtle. It is supported on the back of Chuck Norris, so that he can get adequate exercise while doing push-ups. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

09-22-2006, 03:38 PM	#37
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	NASA announced today that, while the Shuttle has proven to be capable and reliable now that new safety procedures are in place, the proposed servicing mission for the Hubble Space Telescope will be facilitated by Chuck Norris, who will simply order it to "Halt!" and "Lie Down!" so that ground technicians can make the necessary repairs. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

09-22-2006, 03:39 PM	#38
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Chuck Norris drank out of my coffee mug. When he was done I took it back to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher, but it was already spotless, including coffee stains that had been on it for years.

09-22-2006, 03:56 PM	#39
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Chuck's penis is over a quarter mile long. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

09-22-2006, 03:58 PM	#40
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Chuck's wife is a former embassador who spoke out against WMD in Iraq, but the Cheney administration has no plans to divulge Chuck's covert CIA affiliation __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

09-22-2006, 04:15 PM	#41
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Chuck Norris doesn't actually need to breathe, but he does so anyway to keep other people from feeling inferior. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

09-22-2006, 05:08 PM	#42
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Chuck Norris assassinated JFK. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

09-22-2006, 05:09 PM	#43
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Chuck Norris climbed out of my television and gave me the best head I ever got. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

09-22-2006, 05:24 PM	#45
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Chuck Norris picked up Harlan Ellison, said "Hello," and put him back. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

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