Good news, bad news

[Happy Monkey]

Reminds me of a dark joke from Through the Looking Glass:

`Seven years and six months!’ Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. `An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you’d asked my advice, I’d have said “Leave off at seven” — but it’s too late now.’
`I never ask advice about growing,’ Alice said Indignantly.
`Too proud?’ the other inquired.
Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. `I mean,’ she said, `that one can’t help growing older.’
`One can’t, perhaps,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven.’