Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy

[perth]

Admittedly, I've only got 3 Christmases and Easters under my belt with my son, so my experience is limited. But I can't really imagine how thinking that the presents were dropped down the chimney by an elf with a gland problem or that the eggs were hidden by a monstrous rabbit would add to the fun. The kid already gets spoiled rotten on these days with more toys than he could play with in a year and more candy than a grown adult should be able to manage. I just don't understand where along the line someone decided we, as adults, should treat a make-believe character as honest-to-goodness fact. It doesn't add to the fantasy any more than if I actually believed Gandalf and Frodo and all those other guys actually took an actual evil ring to an actual Mount Doom and threw it in (apologies to anyone who believed that was real).

So. My kid has books about Santa Claus, and even books about the Easter Bunny. It's not like I'm denying him the fantasy, because I'm not. But it's deception to treat Santa as anything more than a fantasy.

And I've been thinking about it. There are certain things I will never bring up with my son, and if asked about it, I will lie. This situation is pretty much exclusively reserved for questions regarding my and Case's divorce. There are things he *never* needs to know, and will only prove to be detrimental to him to know. But there is NO REASON WHATSOEVER to tell your child a make-believe character exists in the real world.

[Lady Sidhe]

Ok, is it just me (probably is), but is this being taken a little too seriously? Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are NOT the kinds of things that will fuck up your kid if you enjoy the holidays with any of the three. It's not like telling your kid they're yours if they're really adopted, or anything major. It's all in good fun. Kids like to play make-believe--being able to play make-believe, as a matter of fact, is an essential part of a child's mental and emotional development.

I'm not understanding the hoohah over it.


Sidhe

[perth]

Originally Posted by Lady Sidhe

It's not like telling your kid they're yours if they're really adopted, or anything major.

Hey, I did find out I was adopted, when I was 15. And you know what? Finding out there wasn't a Santa Claus at 7 years old was far more traumatic than discovering the guy I had always called dad wasn't mine biologically. Know why? Because after I found out, I still had a dad.

Yeah, maybe I do take it a bit too seriously. And I apologise if my vehemence seems like venom, that's not my intent (reading back it kind of looks like I was attacking Sidhe, I didn't mean to). But I was lied to a lot as a kid, as I'm sure many others were. I already know for a fact that one day I'm going to end up lying to my son about certain things. So the best I can do is minimise that as much as possible.

Make-believe only works as a developmental tool when the children know it's make-believe. Otherwise it confuses them. If you tell your child that she's a real, honest-to-goodness princess, and keep the story going for years on end, it will be crushing to her when she finally figures out she's just an average kid, and she can't afford her own stable of horses, and she can't have servants do all her chores. But if she knows she's a normal person and that it's a game to pretend to be a princess, she will enjoy it.

I personally think it's just as damaging to constantly remind the child that there is no Santa Claus and not allow them to relish the games. As long as they know it's all in fun, there's no harm.

Clodfobble, I agree. You expressed it far better than I ever could have.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by Lady Sidhe

Ok, is it just me (probably is), but is this being taken a little too seriously? Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are NOT the kinds of things that will fuck up your kid if you enjoy the holidays with any of the three. It's not like telling your kid they're yours if they're really adopted, or anything major. It's all in good fun. Kids like to play make-believe--being able to play make-believe, as a matter of fact, is an essential part of a child's mental and emotional development.

I'm not understanding the hoohah over it.


Sidhe

exactly! Kids are hard wired for make believe!


Why have we reached a time in our history where everything has to be 'proper' and politically correct?

You know kids of the past got over fairy tales and the folklore of their country. People have needed fiction from the begining of time.

Imagine having no fiction books,no movies and no sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories. ho hum! Kids need them especially in troubled times. It gives them a release for their minds. That was the original intent of these storys. I don't regret having mine.

LJ paints the perfect picture. How can anyone have related to that felt any kind of bitterness? I think it's sad when people want to take magic away. Good for you too warch and cyber wolf for keeping magic alive!

[wolf]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

You know kids of the past got over fairy tales and the folklore of their country. People have needed fiction from the begining of time.

Imagine having no fiction books,no movies and no sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories. ho hum! Kids need them especially in troubled times. It gives them a release for their minds. That was the original intent of these storys.

The original intent of folktales and fairytales was as teaching stories ... they serve a useful purpose in terms of modelling correct and incorrect behavior as well as the consequences. Doesn't matter whether the story is Little Red Riding Hood or one of the stories about Coyote and his wandering penis.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by wolf

The original intent of folktales and fairytales was as teaching stories ... they serve a useful purpose in terms of modelling correct and incorrect behavior as well as the consequences. Doesn't matter whether the story is Little Red Riding Hood or one of the stories about Coyote and his wandering penis.

I disagree about correct modeling of behavoir and consequences in terms of Fairytales.

oh...oh...and I never heard about little Red Riding Hood taking a sexual connotation! If this is what you get from it then the assumption that it is a moral story isn't exclusive or the orignial intent.

I think maybe those would be Fabels that tell a moral story.

...but this is just MY opinion. We can each have our own.