Rain

[alphageek31337]

Your caps lock keys is stuck, you continue to misspell rhythm, and you say things like "the worlds (sic) a big poem". If you want to be coddled, there are places you can go for that. We won't fawn over your efforts here, but at least we won't bullshit you.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by Mystic Rythm

SOME PEOPLE JUST ARE IMPOTENT WHEN IT COMES TO CASE OF MAKING JUDGEMENTS. ALL THEY CAN THINK OF IS FINDING OUT MISTAKES. RIGHT? HUH? NOTHING ELSE U READ PROPERLY THEN JUST POINTING OUT SOME TYPING ERRORS!

They aren't typing errors. You're being lazy.

[glatt]

Dear Mystic,
if you are trying to express something about the world around you, and you choose to use written words as the medium to express those thoughts, you should show a little more care in your use of those words. You chose the medium, not us. You may have some really worthwhile ideas to express, but your message is being lost in the noise of your poor writing.

I read your original post, and I didn't understand it. I didn't understand it because it didn't make sense.

Lumberjim asked what your first language is. I think he was joking, but I wonder. Your last posts were at 6AM Philadelphia time. Are you in Europe?

[Trilby]

It's totally non-sensical, and not in a Dr. Suess-type clever way--it's just bad. Both my eyes and brain hurt trying to make it into something cohesive. Don't throw your stuff up there and ask for opinions if you don't want them.

And stop smoking dope.

Mystic, there are poetry boards you can post to where everyone will be politely approving of your efforts. The Cellar is not one of them. People here are going to tell you exactly how they see it, and you can either accept the criticism and refine your efforts accordingly or not.

Good writing does not ramble, nor does it use artifice like all caps or chatroom spellings of words. Brevity is the soul of wit.

[limey]

How about paragraphs?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Brianna

And stop smoking dope.

...because you didn't leave enough for the rest of us (to smoke) in order to make sense of your ramblings.

Here's a take–at–home test:
1) Drop acid
2) Write a poem
3) If it sounds psychotic, you are ok
3a) If it sounds coherent, get in touch with Wolf

just my .02

[Mystic Rythm]

just sounding the world as it actually is!

[Mystic Rythm]

Originally Posted by glatt

Dear Mystic,
if you are trying to express something about the world around you, and you choose to use written words as the medium to express those thoughts, you should show a little more care in your use of those words. You chose the medium, not us. You may have some really worthwhile ideas to express, but your message is being lost in the noise of your poor writing.

I read your original post, and I didn't understand it. I didn't understand it because it didn't make sense.

Lumberjim asked what your first language is. I think he was joking, but I wonder. Your last posts were at 6AM Philadelphia time. Are you in Europe?

Just sensing out some poetical reasons in this 'out of rythm' world.