Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[LabRat]

This morning my 2 yr old daughter was intently watching my husband shave using white shaving cream. She said he was shaving the snow off of his face. I said in my best mommy tone, "yes, it looks like snow, but he's actually using --sha-ving--cream-- "(emphasizing the new vocabulary words like all the books say...) She looked me straight in the eye and said in her best matter of fact, you don't know WHAT your talking about mom voice, head cocked and bobbing, "No, he's shaving SNOW off". You had to hear it to appreciate it, but what really made me laugh, inside anyway, was how soon I am going to be getting the 'you don't know what you're talking about' tone from her on a regular basis. *sigh*.

[kerosene]

I have a 3 year old son, a 3 year old step-son and a 6 year old step-daughter. Both of the boys have been going through the talk-about-pee-and-poop-nonstop phase and they are both fascinated with their own winkies.

We went on a road trip recently where we made several potty stops at small town gas stations. One of such stops was particularly funny: We all go into the gas station and my bf takes the boys to the potty, while my step-daughter goes to the girls' room. my step son and son are the first ones out and they have to go *everywhere* together when they are around each other. They are walking around the store chanting about how they went poop and pee and my step son suddenly chants "I eat weenie!" (I think this happened because they heard the oscar mayer weiner song somewhere along the way.) Then my bf is paying for gas and various child pacifying candies and my step-son suddenly decides to whip his winkie right out of his pants in front of everyone in the store. The only thing I could think to say was "Put that back!"

On the way back home yesterday, out in the middle of nowhere, suddenly my son had to go potty. And when he finally tells me he has to go, it's the last minute. There wasn't anyway he was going to hold it till the next town. So, he had to water the ditch. He hadn't done this before. He asked my bf if he could show me how to do it, so I could help him with it. I told him, "sweety, I don't have a winkie." He said "Yes you do, Mom. You have a winkie, too." I kept trying to explain how boys have winkies and girls don't, but he was insistent that girls have winkies too. It just struck me as funny.

My son is really into astronomy right now...he loves going out and looking at the stars and looking at pictures of planets in books. He told me he wanted to go to Saturn (pronounced Sa-tur-in in his words.) I told him he could do that someday, that he could be an astronaught. He asked me when and I said when you become an adult and get big like your daddy. I also mentioned how he might someday get married and have kids, too, if he wants to. He asked me "Can I marry my girlfriend?" I told him "yes, someday you might marry your girlfriend." I remembered his dad had told me that he had told him that someone from teen-titans was his girlfriend, so I asked him "Isn't Starscream your girlfriend?" Then he said in an annoyed tone "Mom! Starscream is a *transformer*! He's not a marrier."
Apparently I got the name wrong.

[LabRat]

Originally Posted by case

... the boys have been going through the talk-about-pee-and-poop-nonstop phase and they are both fascinated with their own winkies.

My daughter likes to 'help' me get dressed in the morning, and is especially facinated with my bra. She knows that 'bests' go in there, and that she has NIP-ples, but not 'bests' yet. I told her when she was older, she will have breasts and get to wear a bra. Every once in awhile, if I am wearing a V-neck shirt, she'll whip it open and check to make sure everybody is where they belong She then will tell me she'll get to wear a bra later, when she's bigger. So far this hasn't happened in public, but I know I am asking for a major embarassment. Or, worse, a choice comment about a woman with very large breasts in a too small shirt sometime when were out and about (mine are little guys).