Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

[chimmichunga]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

chimmichunga, thanks again for your honesty.
Do you think if you doted a little he might feel more secure and back off a little with the smothering behavior?
Or maybe flat out say, "look, I love you, I'm not leaving, so relax and stop smothering me".
Possible?

I have said this very sentence and still the panic, and questions. I have said to him all I can say. At least in my mind I have, I don't know what else to do other than saying what i have to say listening to his side and looking for common ground. I am not a touchy, feely person exactly. So I probably don't dote on him enough, physically. Good suggestion, and I don't mind.

The one who is feeling smothered is afraid to let the walls down for a second for fear the other's emotion will pour in like the ocean through the break and they'll end up drowned-Marchiko

Yeah, something like that.

[Elspode]

You cannot fill a bottomless pit. I understand this better than I wish I did. Sometimes, two people are just wired so differently, there's no way to stay sufficiently connected to keep one or the other happy or secure. It is a painful struggle.