internet hookups...

[Cheyenne]

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

I have met 2 guys that were friendships online, both turned out to be nothing like their online persona.

so better or worse than online?

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by skysidhe
I think 'what works' is to totally trust that the person is who they say they are.

Originally Posted by MaggieL

I think there's a fair number of people out there who aren't who they say they are...in fact, they're not even who they think they are. But I also think they're fairly easy to spot...if you're getting a vibe that something's wrong, you're probably right.

Sucessfully maintaining the appearance of "something that is not so" is a massive amount of work, and the bigger the difference between apperance and reality the more work it is. Sooner or later it all breaks down, but you can often hear the creaking timbers of a failing framework long before the shit hits the fan.

I should have said I didn't trust him to come see me Until after 2 years of talking online, one year of talking off line via phone. There wasn't one inconsistency. I could marry my good feeling to logic.He wasn't saying one thing here and another there. That said we were to untimatly be dear friends, life peers and not lovers at all. I respect people where they are at so it's a win'win thing.

I get really confused online when people say things and act another. I would never meet a person like that. It just takes observation without thought and without the thoughts of others either to see the truth. Mixed vibes are pure torture.


I really appreciate not feeling anything at all.
but I appreciate more me not having to voice it outloud when I do feel like something is wrong.

[Cheyenne]

poem for internet lovers:


You ask why...
I cry, cry, cry,
Can you see the pain in my heart with text,
the way it creeps into my eyes,
then runs down my cheeks to the lips you once touched with yours?
As I run my fingers across these letters, can you feel their tips on yours?
When I smile can you feel my love beaming into your eyes?
When I say "I love you" can you feel my breath upon your ear?
When the words "I want to hold you" appear, do you comfort me with your loving arms?
Come bed at night, do you cuddle me?
As I cry, do you wipe the tears from my eyes and reassure me with your touch?
When I dream, you are there, when I awake, only my pillow greets me


~~~Cheyenne

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by Cheyenne

so better or worse than online?

I would definitely go with worse!

[DiscoFever]

[pathetic drunken rambling]Oh what timing to stumble upon this thread. Just had the pleasure of finding out that the last 8 months have been nothing but deceit, lies, bullshit and ultimately a lot of broken promises.
The method of communication via the internet may be inorganic, but what I'm feeling now certainly isn't. I hope she's feeling as fucking rotten as I am now, she deserves it.[/pathetic drunken rambling]

Ok, that felt better.

[Cheyenne]

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

I would definitely go with worse!

I would say that is the most likely senario for net relationships.

[Sun_Sparkz]

disco. man, that sucks. stupid, game playing, horny little fookers really need to grow up. ill join your drunken rambling! set forth fine steed.. come a ramblin tonight with me.. !!

[DucksNuts]

Problem is some people create this online persona that fixes all the things they dont like about themselves in real life.

Then they get in the shit when someone becomes attracted to that persona, and they either have to a) fess up b) make a gradual change so they are being true or c) take a chance.

Seems most go with c).

What I dont get is how these people keep up this act for so long?

Me, I couldnt be bothered....like it or lump it

Disco - I'm sorry you got treated the way you did.

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Problem is some people create this online persona that fixes all the things they dont like about themselves in real life.

Then they get in the shit when someone becomes attracted to that persona, and they either have to a) fess up b) make a gradual change so they are being true or c) take a chance.

Seems most go with c).

What I dont get is how these people keep up this act for so long?

Me, I couldnt be bothered....like it or lump it

Disco - I'm sorry you got treated the way you did.

They do it in "real life" too. I hate the term real life, the people we are talking to are real, so the internet is real. Those who treat it differently are cowards.

[Stormieweather]

So true. It's incredible to me how so many people behave as though there isn't a "real person" behind the pixels. I prefer to call it the FTF vs CS world (Face to face vs Cyber Space).

There are many opportunities to play a 'role' legitimately if one desires. Plenty of MMORPG's (Massive Online Role Playing Game's) exist like EQ, WoW, SWF, etc. My thinking is that people who pretend to be who they are not FTF and try to pass it off as their actual personality are disturbed and lacking self-respect.

Stormie

[DucksNuts]

FTF, IRL whatever....

I agree they are real people and the internet is real, there's plenty of fake people in your day to day life.

Its just much easier for a person who isnt overly confident or really self conscious about themselves, to be outgoing (or whatever role they choose), with a screen name.

[xoxoxoBruce]

People that are unhappy or bored with their lives may find solace online, inadvertently projecting a happy persona.

Conversely, they could find the internet a place where they can blow off steam in a way they're afraid to in their daily lives, giving a false impression once again.

OR they could be one of the many wackos you meet at any mall.

[Stormieweather]

Easier or not, if you 'pretend' to be outgoing when you are really painfully shy or project an interest in skydiving when in reality you refuse to even get on an airplane...you are lying and lies hurt people.

[DucksNuts]

well, yeah...I'm pretty sure I wasnt saying it was a good thing

[Tonchi]

For me, it's not about "hooking up" but about finding friendship and purpose through the internet. I was never looking for love or a mate online, but I happened to meet my best friend that way. Luisa and I "met" through ICQ back in early 1998 because we were part of the same online fan club. We have now known each other for more than 8 years but have never met in person. Except for the time I spent in Intensive Care, we have "talked" online every night of those 8 years, for about 2 hours but sometimes longer, have collaborated in a website which became extremely well known, started an internet business together, and now are working on getting her a visa so that I can sponser her for immigration to the USA. People in her country assume that we are either both lesbians or that she is successfully scamming me for money. (That's the kind of pathetic mentality where Luisa lives, in a totally crappy Third World country, as we have both written elsewhere on this forum.) People in my country who do not know the both of us either assume that I am being scammed or that I am out of my mind to invest so much time and money in a friendship with a person I never met face to face. The fact is that, after more than 8 years, you DO know a person. Nobody stays friends that long if it is not for real, nobody sits in front of a computer for years with no other payoff unless they mean what they say.

No doubt that many internet friendships do not endure. No doubt people get fooled more often than not. I have been very lucky. The most interesting part of my internet experience with other people is that, because over the 8 years I rose to a very high position in that fan club where I met Luisa, there are maybe a thousand people in many countries who "know who Tonchi is". Or they think they do. Many people think they hate me and a slightly smaller number think I am wonderful, all based on what I have done for them or refused to do, but NONE of them know who I am. And they never will. Of the possibly one thousand people, only 3 of them know what I look like. And of course, Thalia has met me and she knows who I am and what I look like and she doesn't care, because she is a wonderful person and that's why I work for her for free.

But the point I am making is, you have to really REALLY think about whether the person you are supposedly getting so close to online WANTS you to know them or not. If you do not, you are very vulnerable. Choose carefully. Don't believe what you want to believe. The internet has been wonderful for me, especially during the years I have not been able to work outside my home, but it is also a place where deception and subterfuge are common and people lie a lot or weave their own fantasies based on what somebody types on the screen. I have found the best people I know through the internet. I wish everybody could say the same.