attachment issues

joelnwil · 09-21-2006, 07:09 AM

Well, after they had been together for about 3 years, a friend of mine started calling her lover "my insignificant other".

But I think that is the exception, not the rule.

You make it all sound so routine. Try to spice things up and see what happens.

extemporaneous · 09-21-2006, 03:16 PM

well i dont know what to say. he was with me in my pregnancy, which was horrible, let me tell you...hospital and everything...kinda nerve racking if you ask me. the sex is amazing. so is a cigarette in the morning. it's kinda like i dont know how to have a relationship. that's why i see a shrink for attachment issues...

9th Engineer · 09-21-2006, 06:22 PM

Everything depends on what you want out of the relationship. You're in it now because it fufills something you need, if it didn't you'd drop it and run no questions asked, the question is whether you know what that something is. Until you figure that out you're not going anywhere, don't kid yourself. If you ask me it's pretty telling that the two things you use to describe this to total strangers is "the sex is great, and he helped me through a tough time". I lost you on the term 'issues' you added to your explanation. It's pretty damn obvious WHY you're attached to him, the question is, why do you not want to be? Is he not interested in going any further with the relationship and you want to? Whatever the case is you should probably drop the shrink, unless your situation is far, far more complicated than what you've said you don't need another brain to figure this out. More often than not all a shrink does is prod you into figuring it out for yourself and you'll probably use him to rationalize things.

Bottom line: Get a list of priorities together
Explore the posibility of those priorities meeting with his
If no, never sleep with him again
Do not rationalize to yourself that the sex is just sex, if you do, nothing is going to change whether you want it to or not
Accept that sometimes you are presented with a situation in which all posible choices suck

09-21-2006, 03:16 PM	#2
extemporaneous i like watching the puddles gather rain Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: killadelphia, pa Posts: 38	hmm well i dont know what to say. he was with me in my pregnancy, which was horrible, let me tell you...hospital and everything...kinda nerve racking if you ask me. the sex is amazing. so is a cigarette in the morning. it's kinda like i dont know how to have a relationship. that's why i see a shrink for attachment issues... __________________ we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

09-21-2006, 06:22 PM	#3
9th Engineer Bioengineer and aspiring lawer Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 872	Everything depends on what you want out of the relationship. You're in it now because it fufills something you need, if it didn't you'd drop it and run no questions asked, the question is whether you know what that something is. Until you figure that out you're not going anywhere, don't kid yourself. If you ask me it's pretty telling that the two things you use to describe this to total strangers is "the sex is great, and he helped me through a tough time". I lost you on the term 'issues' you added to your explanation. It's pretty damn obvious WHY you're attached to him, the question is, why do you not want to be? Is he not interested in going any further with the relationship and you want to? Whatever the case is you should probably drop the shrink, unless your situation is far, far more complicated than what you've said you don't need another brain to figure this out. More often than not all a shrink does is prod you into figuring it out for yourself and you'll probably use him to rationalize things. Bottom line: Get a list of priorities together Explore the posibility of those priorities meeting with his If no, never sleep with him again Do not rationalize to yourself that the sex is just sex, if you do, nothing is going to change whether you want it to or not Accept that sometimes you are presented with a situation in which all posible choices suck __________________ The most valuable renewable resource is stupidity.

09-21-2006, 07:09 AM	#1
joelnwil Major Inhabitant Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silver Spring MD Posts: 128	Well, after they had been together for about 3 years, a friend of mine started calling her lover "my insignificant other". But I think that is the exception, not the rule. You make it all sound so routine. Try to spice things up and see what happens.

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