Let them eat cake! - Page 4

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 04:41 PM

Mari *smiles* take a breath hun. As someone wiser than I once said "Don't let the bastards grind you down".

You know what your problems are. Lots of people on the Cellar care and are interested, don't get wrapped up trying to explain yourself to people who never will, for whatever reason. You'll just end up upset and angry and for what? You won't change their minds and you won't 'win' the argument. The most you could do is upset someone else in return, and who knows what troubles they themselves are operating under.

pm me if you want to chat:P

tw · 12-04-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marichiko

... if some damn scientist would have stuck his head out of the lab and said to me, "You need hyperbaric therapy.

Did I miss something? Where does hyperbaric therapy apply? Or was it only uses as an example?

orthodoc · 12-04-2006, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marichiko

My life would be very different today if some damn scientist would have stuck his head out of the lab and said to me, "You need hyperbaric therapy, baby. You need medicines that we are now experimenting with for various types of brain injury - especially apoxia (go look it up).

Hyperbaric oxygen therapy has been used in cases of acute, moderate to severe carbon monoxide poisoning, since in at least one study it was shown to improve cognitive outcome at six weeks and twelve months. However, its role is still unclear due to conflicting study results and the flawed design of some studies that support its use. High-flow 100% oxygen may be just as effective. It isn't clear that the reference here, however, is to acute poisoning - sounds like chronic exposure ...??? There aren't any studies that I've been able to find that support hyperbaric O2 for that.

Apoxia - ?? That's not in my medical dictionaries. Anoxia, perhaps? Or hypoxia?

Aliantha · 12-04-2006, 06:16 PM

I'm really surprised at some of the responses here.

I suppose everyone gets to a stage where they feel they can't give any more. Maybe that's why some people have been so heartless. That's the only thing I can think of.

I'll share a story with you and hope it helps.

My best friend is very self absorbed. Everything is always about her. She hardly ever considers how her actions might affect someone else till after the fact, and then she cries tears of remorse. Begs for forgiveness and all that stuff.

On the other hand, she is the most generous and loving person you might hope to meet. Sure, she gets insecure sometimes and lashes out at the people around her. Accuses them of not loving her. Tells her husband she wants a divorce and that she's sick of him, accuses him of having affairs on her, then next week she's ready to start a family with him.

How do I feel about all this?

Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I get really angry. Sometimes I don't feel very compassionate towards her at all. Sometimes I wish she was just 'normal'.

Unfortunately that's not an option for her. She has schizophrenia. She hears voices. She's vague sometimes. She lives in her own world half the time.

The medication she's on every day of her life keeps her straight most of the time, but she's still pretty flighty and hard work a lot of the time.

Do I feel like life would be easier without her? You bet it would be, but then I'd miss all the fun times we have together. I wouldn't have her to make me smile when I'm down, and I wouldn't know that no matter what, there's a friend in the world who will always be there for me, even if she is a bit crazy.

Some people need more patience than others for reasons that may not be of their own making.

What benefit is there in denigrating them?

Just shut the fuck up if you don't have something constructive to say. You don't know what their life is like.

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 06:18 PM

Well said Ali.

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 06:20 PM

I suspect that if Mari had suffered what she'd suffered, but was fortunate enough to have some sort of independant wealth and not be reliant on government assistance, the compassion levels would be much higher.

Edit: Okay, that was possibly a little harsh. Sometimes I lose faith in people when I am reading stuff like this. It makes me tetchy:P

Aliantha · 12-04-2006, 06:25 PM

Maybe so. I don't really know. Social services are a problem though. Throughout the world as far as I can tell. I remember when my mum was sick and I was caring for her full time which meant no work or study for me, I needed a carers allowance to pay the bills etc. I kept putting off going down to fill out the forms because i was so busy looking after Mum. The bills were piling up and when I did finally go down there, they told me they don't back pay that particular allowance. Mum died two weeks later.

It can be really hard sometimes. Looking from the outside people can never know what it's really like, and every case is different.

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 06:29 PM

I agree. I know a lot of people who are struggling because of inadequate, over complicated or inflexible social services systems. I have a friend, who was given a pension from the army of about £350 a month, because of that he's been told he can't claim any other assistance, despite being unfit for work. He pays his council tax at the full rate, gets no help with his rent and gets no other reductions or benefits, not even free prescriptions, despite having to take a raft of medication on a daily basis.

There are others even worse off. I don't think any nation has quite got this right.

Tonchi · 12-04-2006, 07:02 PM

Ladies, why don't you go back a bit further in our archives here and find out how BRIANNA "got where she is today". It might make you wonder, as it does me, why she isn't more empathetic. And after that, ask yourselves why certain people here give Bri her regular doses of approval, support, and wisecracks while all they have for Mari is personal attacks and disparagement. If there is one, here is where you will see the underbelly of The Cellar. That's my opinion, anyway. We can still have opinions, can't we?

Quote:

I suspect that if Mari had suffered what she'd suffered, but was fortunate enough to have some sort of independant wealth and not be reliant on government assistance, the compassion levels would be much higher.

As it happens, I am one of those people who was so fortunate. Because I had a rather sizable trust fund from my aunt, I survived. In addition to most of my inheritance being gone now, my treatment has cost the insurance companies and SS about a half million dollars over the last 12 years (and it should have been half that but medical care has risen totally beyond all reason). Last year, even with my checks for total disability, my income was minus $25,000. So needless to say, I do not have a problem listening to Mari's saga. And by watching the dynamics of this board whenever Mari's story comes up, I have learned a lot about some of the rest of you too. Now there are 3 more of you who I really like

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Ladies, why don't you go back a bit further in our archives here and find out how BRIANNA "got where she is today". It might make you wonder, as it does me, why she isn't more empathetic. And after that, ask yourselves why certain people here give Bri her regular doses of approval, support, and wisecracks while all they have for Mari is personal attacks and disparagement. If there is one, here is where you will see the underbelly of The Cellar.

That's something that's generally puzzled me for a couple of years.

Griff · 12-04-2006, 07:23 PM

It has been talked to death before.

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 07:27 PM

So? Mari posted a poem which highlighted an important issue regarding the substandard food being palmed off on those most in need. She knows about it because she is one of those people. But the post wasn't about her, it was a political poem ( I read it as such anyway) about the way those on the breadline are treated by society. The responses she got resparked the issues that have been talked to death. Maybe if people didn't respond in such a nasty way, it wouldn't devolve into a rehash of previous conversations....but when someone is attacked, there is an instinct to defend themself. And frankly, when someone is attacked, rounded on or treated unfairly again and again, some of us have an instinct to balance the picture.

Griff · 12-04-2006, 07:57 PM

My Mom is calling. Enjoy the game.

Aliantha · 12-04-2006, 07:58 PM

I read all the posts. edit: and found nothing to redeem anyone.

I still think the behaviour of some members on this thread is pretty disappointing, but I'm sure that's because I'm a bleeding heart liberal.

Thank christ for that is all I can say.

DanaC · 12-04-2006, 07:59 PM

@ Griff. Well.....how nice for you....enjoy your conversation.

Quote:

I still think the behaviour of some members on this thread is pretty disappointing, but I'm sure that's because I'm a bleeding heart liberal.

Thank christ for that is all I can say.

I'll echo that thanks

12-04-2006, 06:16 PM	#49
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I'm really surprised at some of the responses here. I suppose everyone gets to a stage where they feel they can't give any more. Maybe that's why some people have been so heartless. That's the only thing I can think of. I'll share a story with you and hope it helps. My best friend is very self absorbed. Everything is always about her. She hardly ever considers how her actions might affect someone else till after the fact, and then she cries tears of remorse. Begs for forgiveness and all that stuff. On the other hand, she is the most generous and loving person you might hope to meet. Sure, she gets insecure sometimes and lashes out at the people around her. Accuses them of not loving her. Tells her husband she wants a divorce and that she's sick of him, accuses him of having affairs on her, then next week she's ready to start a family with him. How do I feel about all this? Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I get really angry. Sometimes I don't feel very compassionate towards her at all. Sometimes I wish she was just 'normal'. Unfortunately that's not an option for her. She has schizophrenia. She hears voices. She's vague sometimes. She lives in her own world half the time. The medication she's on every day of her life keeps her straight most of the time, but she's still pretty flighty and hard work a lot of the time. Do I feel like life would be easier without her? You bet it would be, but then I'd miss all the fun times we have together. I wouldn't have her to make me smile when I'm down, and I wouldn't know that no matter what, there's a friend in the world who will always be there for me, even if she is a bit crazy. Some people need more patience than others for reasons that may not be of their own making. What benefit is there in denigrating them? Just shut the fuck up if you don't have something constructive to say. You don't know what their life is like. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-04-2006, 06:20 PM	#51
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I suspect that if Mari had suffered what she'd suffered, but was fortunate enough to have some sort of independant wealth and not be reliant on government assistance, the compassion levels would be much higher. Edit: Okay, that was possibly a little harsh. Sometimes I lose faith in people when I am reading stuff like this. It makes me tetchy:P Last edited by DanaC; 12-04-2006 at 06:44 PM.

12-04-2006, 06:25 PM	#52
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Maybe so. I don't really know. Social services are a problem though. Throughout the world as far as I can tell. I remember when my mum was sick and I was caring for her full time which meant no work or study for me, I needed a carers allowance to pay the bills etc. I kept putting off going down to fill out the forms because i was so busy looking after Mum. The bills were piling up and when I did finally go down there, they told me they don't back pay that particular allowance. Mum died two weeks later. It can be really hard sometimes. Looking from the outside people can never know what it's really like, and every case is different. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-04-2006, 07:23 PM	#56
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	It has been talked to death before. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-04-2006, 07:57 PM	#58
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	My Mom is calling. Enjoy the game. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-04-2006, 04:41 PM	#46
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Mari smiles take a breath hun. As someone wiser than I once said "Don't let the bastards grind you down". You know what your problems are. Lots of people on the Cellar care and are interested, don't get wrapped up trying to explain yourself to people who never will, for whatever reason. You'll just end up upset and angry and for what? You won't change their minds and you won't 'win' the argument. The most you could do is upset someone else in return, and who knows what troubles they themselves are operating under. pm me if you want to chat:P

12-04-2006, 06:18 PM	#50
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Well said Ali.

12-04-2006, 06:29 PM	#53
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I agree. I know a lot of people who are struggling because of inadequate, over complicated or inflexible social services systems. I have a friend, who was given a pension from the army of about £350 a month, because of that he's been told he can't claim any other assistance, despite being unfit for work. He pays his council tax at the full rate, gets no help with his rent and gets no other reductions or benefits, not even free prescriptions, despite having to take a raft of medication on a daily basis. There are others even worse off. I don't think any nation has quite got this right.

12-04-2006, 07:27 PM	#57
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	So? Mari posted a poem which highlighted an important issue regarding the substandard food being palmed off on those most in need. She knows about it because she is one of those people. But the post wasn't about her, it was a political poem ( I read it as such anyway) about the way those on the breadline are treated by society. The responses she got resparked the issues that have been talked to death. Maybe if people didn't respond in such a nasty way, it wouldn't devolve into a rehash of previous conversations....but when someone is attacked, there is an instinct to defend themself. And frankly, when someone is attacked, rounded on or treated unfairly again and again, some of us have an instinct to balance the picture.

12-04-2006, 07:58 PM	#59
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I read all the posts. edit: and found nothing to redeem anyone. I still think the behaviour of some members on this thread is pretty disappointing, but I'm sure that's because I'm a bleeding heart liberal. Thank christ for that is all I can say. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber Last edited by Aliantha; 12-04-2006 at 08:33 PM.

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