religious experience OMFG

footfootfoot · 12-24-2006, 11:15 PM

just gotta say I am a changed man.
I will never cook a turkey in an oven again.

I just had the best friggin turkey of my life.

I brined it for two days, fired up the webber and put my water pan in the middle, surrounded by coals (the indirect method) popped the turkey on the grilland every 40 minutes I checked the coals, added more maple shavings* a,d gave it a little basteroo.

Temp was 170 and that was the best tasting turkey ever.

It was insanely good. plus I got to yank homegirl's chain a bit. Her mom and aunt are over for xmas dinner, etc. and I was trying this highly experimental cooking procedure for the first time. Despite my madskilz in the kitchen, she has little faith in me and panics a lot.

I cut a piece of the turkey off and make this face and say "I'm not sure, waht do you think?" She was about ready to freak that the dinner was pooched. The flavor blew her socks off.

I took a piece of rock maple I had in the shop and ran it across the jointer a few times and gathered the shavings. I boiled some water and poured it over a handful each of rosemary and thyme, let it steep for a while and then soaked my maple in this "tea".

The basting sauce was olive oil, crushed garlic, thinly sliced ginger pressed through a garlic press, maple syrup, and balsamic vinegar. (good bread dipping sauce too) I added a bit of the herb tea as well. this got painted on every 40 minutes, and sloshed in the cavity.

Just OMG. It was so damn good. I'll never cook turkey in an oven again. It is just damn great, and easy as could be. A 15# bird took just under three hours.

smashed taters, carrots sauteed in butter w/ dill and honey, steamed broccoli. a "teller" mit the nuts,orange,apple, chocolate.

I'm an evangelical smoker.

zippyt · 12-24-2006, 11:36 PM

Oh hell yes !!!!!

Congrats on freaking the wife a bit !!!! Was Mom-in-law impressed ??

We did a Beer can turkey last year , Cajon butter injected , a little sage in the beer can , it cooked for , well i forget just how long , but it was KILLER !!!

DanaC · 12-25-2006, 04:40 AM

Ooooo....that sounds good!

Griff · 12-25-2006, 06:33 AM

I like the way you worked the jointer into your process.... skilllzzz

footfootfoot · 12-25-2006, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

I like the way you worked the jointer into your process.... skilllzzz

I also trimmed the beeswax candles with my chopsaw, but that's a different story for a different thread.

steambender · 12-25-2006, 10:50 PM

this trajectory ends here:

http://www.biggreenegg.com/

It's a cult, don't ask me how I know. But it's been many years since the neighbors pissed themselves, laughing at me as I extinguished the holiday turkey on the weber. CO2, didn't spoil the flavor a bit. Drippings in the water pan caught fire, then the bird.

Now I use a slow smoky fire, fire bricks under the pan, fresh rosemary from outside the door.

If you're really interested, check out the primo grill - why not be obsessed with something as important as food?

wolf · 12-25-2006, 11:44 PM

Oh dear. Spam or not spam. This one is a toughie. I'm going for not, as the post is relevant, and funny.

Hi and welcome steambender. Don't prove me wrong by making your post #2 a list of porn sites and work-from-home business opportunities.

Unless it's really good porn, and the get-rich-quick scheme really works.

Beestie · 12-25-2006, 11:51 PM

The Big Green Egg is where the buck stops. There is no better Bar-B-Que in the known universe. We aren't sure what the dark mysteries of dark matter have to offer but until then, the BGE is the captain Kirk of the galaxy.

I've been preaching the virtues of brine curing since I came across it years ago. Another soul for the Big Green Egg, I see.

Welcome, brother, we've been expecting you.

steambender · 01-03-2007, 12:09 PM

Glad to de-lurk after enjoying the show for so long.

Our BGE (big green egg) turkey ritual involves brine - 5gal bucket overnight, apple juice or cider, or OJ, water, kosher salt, secret spices (so secret I can't remember what I did last time, so it's never the same, twice) smoldering cherry or apple wood (woodshop scraps) turkey vertical on a poultry rack with beer, rosemary and vinegar in the drip pan below.

It a satisfyingly pagan rite - enjoyed in all phases with great gusto!

to be honest though, if I had it to do over I might go with the primo grills, they appear to be BGE generation 2, and they have the truly manly oval unit that can cook for an army.

Nothing smells better than the wisps of smoke coming out of the egg while slow smoking (brined) ribs for few hours of anticipation accompanied by beer consumption...

Wolf, sorry to set off the spam radar...no worries, I keep my porn preferences private! BTW, how's the Neos? haven't been out to shoot in a too long myself.

steambender

orthodoc · 01-03-2007, 12:17 PM

Sounds fantastic! The one time I brined a turkey it turned out too salty. Very moist etc., but salty. I followed a recipe from the newspaper ... clearly not a winner. I've stayed away from brining since then but maybe I should give it another try.

The biggest source of calls to the local volunteer fire dept in this area on Dec. 25 is fires from turkey fryers. I've never had deep-fried turkey, though if we live here long enough I guess I'll taste some at some point. Has anyone had turkey done this way? Is it worth the fire hazard?

wolf · 01-03-2007, 01:20 PM

Absolutely worth the risk, which is fairly easy to minimize by actually reading and following all the directions. Understanding the concept of displacement helps too. The thing runs off a propane cylinder. It's not too difficult to keep it far away from the house and the cars. Don't attempt to cheat the distance rule, even if it's raining. Find something else to eat and wait for a dry day. Even if you have successfully fried turkeys a dozen times before, some critical thing will go wrong on the day you move the fryer into the garage for your convenience.

Oh, and make sure that you deep fry some Pop 'n Fresh biscuits as the oil heats up, and do fries (reg. potato or sweet potato) after the bird is done.

BigV · 01-03-2007, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc

Sounds fantastic! The one time I brined a turkey it turned out too salty. Very moist etc., but salty. I followed a recipe from the newspaper ... clearly not a winner. I've stayed away from brining since then but maybe I should give it another try.

The biggest source of calls to the local volunteer fire dept in this area on Dec. 25 is fires from turkey fryers. I've never had deep-fried turkey, though if we live here long enough I guess I'll taste some at some point. Has anyone had turkey done this way? Is it worth the fire hazard?

It is worth it.

However.

Please, please, please, please, follow the instructions. This is the life and death part...

Outdoors. Duh, but REQUIRED.

On concrete or dirt. Also duh, but easily overlooked. DO NOT under any circumstances put it on the deck, unless your deck is plate steel or bricks, or some such.

Have the fire extinguisher handy. Seriously.

Do not overfill the fryer. It would be prudent to fill it with water and then put the turkey in and see how much it displaces. Do this test cold. You won’t hurt the turkey, of course. You’ll get a much better idea of how much liquid (cold water in this case) will do the job instead of 400 degree oil tsunami-ing across the floor, igniting your shoes. Go on. Laugh now and get it out of your system. Rehearse with water so you don’t have to hearse with oil.

Ok, life and death part is over. Enjoy.

And if you think I’m kidding, google around for turkey fryer fires, there have been other cellar threads on this. Can be tasty or can be deadly.

Elspode · 01-03-2007, 04:11 PM

Somebody here in KC burned their frigging house *to the ground* with a turkey fryer on Thanksgiving Day. For real. *And*...he had the fryer outside. Still burned the place to the ground.

BigV · 01-03-2007, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Somebody here in KC burned their frigging house *to the ground* with a turkey fryer on Thanksgiving Day. For real. *And*...he had the fryer outside. Still burned the place to the ground.

I bet.

I probably should have said FLAMING tsunami....

footfootfoot · 01-03-2007, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Somebody here in KC burned their frigging house *to the ground* with a turkey fryer on Thanksgiving Day. For real. *And*...he had the fryer outside. Still burned the place to the ground.

That's because he was committed. Remember! "Winners never quit and quitters never win."

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

...actually reading and following all the directions...

I love that about you wolf, you can type that with a straight face.

12-24-2006, 11:15 PM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	religious experience OMFG just gotta say I am a changed man. I will never cook a turkey in an oven again. I just had the best friggin turkey of my life. I brined it for two days, fired up the webber and put my water pan in the middle, surrounded by coals (the indirect method) popped the turkey on the grilland every 40 minutes I checked the coals, added more maple shavings* a,d gave it a little basteroo. Temp was 170 and that was the best tasting turkey ever. It was insanely good. plus I got to yank homegirl's chain a bit. Her mom and aunt are over for xmas dinner, etc. and I was trying this highly experimental cooking procedure for the first time. Despite my madskilz in the kitchen, she has little faith in me and panics a lot. I cut a piece of the turkey off and make this face and say "I'm not sure, waht do you think?" She was about ready to freak that the dinner was pooched. The flavor blew her socks off. I took a piece of rock maple I had in the shop and ran it across the jointer a few times and gathered the shavings. I boiled some water and poured it over a handful each of rosemary and thyme, let it steep for a while and then soaked my maple in this "tea". The basting sauce was olive oil, crushed garlic, thinly sliced ginger pressed through a garlic press, maple syrup, and balsamic vinegar. (good bread dipping sauce too) I added a bit of the herb tea as well. this got painted on every 40 minutes, and sloshed in the cavity. Just OMG. It was so damn good. I'll never cook turkey in an oven again. It is just damn great, and easy as could be. A 15# bird took just under three hours. smashed taters, carrots sauteed in butter w/ dill and honey, steamed broccoli. a "teller" mit the nuts,orange,apple, chocolate. I'm an evangelical smoker. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

12-25-2006, 06:33 AM	#4
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I like the way you worked the jointer into your process.... skilllzzz __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-25-2006, 10:50 PM	#6
steambender It just needs a minor tweak...here... Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: kitty corner from where I grew up Posts: 48	Turkeys, Charcoal and Fire extinguishers this trajectory ends here: http://www.biggreenegg.com/ It's a cult, don't ask me how I know. But it's been many years since the neighbors pissed themselves, laughing at me as I extinguished the holiday turkey on the weber. CO2, didn't spoil the flavor a bit. Drippings in the water pan caught fire, then the bird. Now I use a slow smoky fire, fire bricks under the pan, fresh rosemary from outside the door. If you're really interested, check out the primo grill - why not be obsessed with something as important as food?

12-25-2006, 11:44 PM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Oh dear. Spam or not spam. This one is a toughie. I'm going for not, as the post is relevant, and funny. Hi and welcome steambender. Don't prove me wrong by making your post #2 a list of porn sites and work-from-home business opportunities. Unless it's really good porn, and the get-rich-quick scheme really works. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-25-2006, 11:51 PM	#8
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	The Big Green Egg is where the buck stops. There is no better Bar-B-Que in the known universe. We aren't sure what the dark mysteries of dark matter have to offer but until then, the BGE is the captain Kirk of the galaxy. I've been preaching the virtues of brine curing since I came across it years ago. Another soul for the Big Green Egg, I see. Welcome, brother, we've been expecting you. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

12-24-2006, 11:36 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Oh hell yes !!!!! Congrats on freaking the wife a bit !!!! Was Mom-in-law impressed ?? We did a Beer can turkey last year , Cajon butter injected , a little sage in the beer can , it cooked for , well i forget just how long , but it was KILLER !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

12-25-2006, 04:40 AM	#3
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Ooooo....that sounds good!

01-03-2007, 12:09 PM	#9
steambender It just needs a minor tweak...here... Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: kitty corner from where I grew up Posts: 48	Glad to de-lurk after enjoying the show for so long. Our BGE (big green egg) turkey ritual involves brine - 5gal bucket overnight, apple juice or cider, or OJ, water, kosher salt, secret spices (so secret I can't remember what I did last time, so it's never the same, twice) smoldering cherry or apple wood (woodshop scraps) turkey vertical on a poultry rack with beer, rosemary and vinegar in the drip pan below. It a satisfyingly pagan rite - enjoyed in all phases with great gusto! to be honest though, if I had it to do over I might go with the primo grills, they appear to be BGE generation 2, and they have the truly manly oval unit that can cook for an army. Nothing smells better than the wisps of smoke coming out of the egg while slow smoking (brined) ribs for few hours of anticipation accompanied by beer consumption... Wolf, sorry to set off the spam radar...no worries, I keep my porn preferences private! BTW, how's the Neos? haven't been out to shoot in a too long myself. steambender

01-03-2007, 12:17 PM	#10
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Sounds fantastic! The one time I brined a turkey it turned out too salty. Very moist etc., but salty. I followed a recipe from the newspaper ... clearly not a winner. I've stayed away from brining since then but maybe I should give it another try. The biggest source of calls to the local volunteer fire dept in this area on Dec. 25 is fires from turkey fryers. I've never had deep-fried turkey, though if we live here long enough I guess I'll taste some at some point. Has anyone had turkey done this way? Is it worth the fire hazard? __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

01-03-2007, 01:20 PM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Absolutely worth the risk, which is fairly easy to minimize by actually reading and following all the directions. Understanding the concept of displacement helps too. The thing runs off a propane cylinder. It's not too difficult to keep it far away from the house and the cars. Don't attempt to cheat the distance rule, even if it's raining. Find something else to eat and wait for a dry day. Even if you have successfully fried turkeys a dozen times before, some critical thing will go wrong on the day you move the fryer into the garage for your convenience. Oh, and make sure that you deep fry some Pop 'n Fresh biscuits as the oil heats up, and do fries (reg. potato or sweet potato) after the bird is done. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-03-2007, 04:11 PM	#13
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Somebody here in KC burned their frigging house to the ground with a turkey fryer on Thanksgiving Day. For real. And...he had the fryer outside. Still burned the place to the ground. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

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