do you take psych pills?

[Shawnee123]

Nice. Thanks for your support and concern, friends.

and the insurance would take care of your family. Maybe better than you could....

I don't have children. That is not what I was talking about. though your compassion is really overwhelming. Don't worry I wouldn't subject a poor kid to me.

I know, give it a rest, get over it, waa waa waa.

That's what all you boohoo I'm feeling blue people don't get.

See you on the flip side.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I don't have children. That is not what I was talking about. though your compassion is really overwhelming. Don't worry I wouldn't subject a poor kid to me.
..

Miscommunication? I was using the figurative "you", to mean "me".

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Nice. Thanks for your support and concern, friends.

I don't have children. That is not what I was talking about. though your compassion is really overwhelming. Don't worry I wouldn't subject a poor kid to me.

I know, give it a rest, get over it, waa waa waa.

That's what all you boohoo I'm feeling blue people don't get.

See you on the flip side.

I did write a reply which included words of support to you and other people who have shared personal information. Rereading before posting I realised it degenerated into mememe details of my depression that frankly no-one needs to know. When I decided not to post it I forgot that any messages to other posters also went.

Part of what I was trying to say is that not all clinical depression is chronic depression. I was on meds for 9 months - I can choose to come off them now as I am no longer suffering severe depression. Tests show my current state to be low to moderate (making me one of the feeling blue people).

A teenager on my bus the other day was talking on her mobile about someone she knew who had to inject herself daily (possibly a diabetic?) She made some sort of noise-pollution comment like, "Ewwww! I'd rather die than go through that!" That's sort of how I feel about going through depression again - so anyone who can live a productive life under that sort of cloud (rather than the sunshine and showers I endured) has my total respect.

[Shawnee123]

I'm sorry everyone. I really do feel at my wit's end and I feel like no one gets it. I know I will get over this lowest of lows but I'm hurting so badly right now and NOTHING seems to be going right for me...so much so that I do entertain thoughts of just getting out.

I swore that I was going to get everything back on track this year after a really horrible year last year with the ex b/f practically ruining my life; but every time I take a step I get knocked back down. And knocked down hard.

I've always lived my life as a "pay it forward" kind of person. I am kind to strangers. I go out of my way to say nice things to make people feel good. I give out this good Karma so why does god hate me so much that he feels the need to keep kicking me?

I just don't know how much more I can take, to the point of thinking of heading to the loony bin for a while.

That's how I am feeling right now. I know none of you can make it better, I guess I was just hoping for a "we care" rather than snide comments. I know it sounds stupid and lame but I feel like I have a group of friends here who might actually accept me the way I am. I feel closeness because I am so able to write out my feelings, funny or serious, and I think so much of you are on that "level" if you know what I mean.

I am going home for the day. Stopping at library and getting some books and relaxing, then I will come back in this weekend when no students are here to yell. Hopefully I will have a better perspective. It's not just work, it's the way I am reacting to this incredibly stressful job because of my personal problems.

Again, I'm sorry. My bad day shouldn't make me try to ruin yours.

Take care,

[yesman065]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

at my wit's end and I feel like no one gets it. NOTHING seems to be going right

horrible year last year with the ex b/f I get knocked back down hard.

"pay it forward" kind of person.

I am kind to strangers. why does god hate me so much that he feels the need to keep kicking me?

I just don't know how much more I can take.

friends here actually accept me the way I am. I feel closeness

We're all here for you and I can personally relate to you and how you feel. For awhile after the split it seemed like everything kept getting worse and worse. But eventually things turned around and I'm happier now than ever! God doesn't hate you - don't ever think that! There may be some "miscommunication" going on.
You have always been very sweet to me even when others weren't. Keep your head up and find the little positives in life to keep you going. Soon enough they'll add up and you'll see more of them than the negatives.