do you earn enough to compensate for your shortcomings?

[breakingnews]

Nothing remotely important, just more fodder to stir debate. Let's hear how inaccurate you think this column is because you are an exception and therefore disprove the data.

http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/...-thee/#more-61

"The overall pattern of results thus suggests that low mate choice costs lead men to satisfy their variety preference by indifferently choosing any woman who falls above a minimal condition threshold, while women stayed choosy and appeared to fine-tune social-comparison processes to the situation (meaning, in this context, that their mate-value sociometer mainly reflected their physical attractiveness), adjusting their mate choices accordingly."

...

By tracking the success of online daters, the researchers calculated precisely how much extra income a man had to make (relative to the average man’s income of $62,500 per year) to offset a less than ideal attribute. Some of their findings:

Suppose you’re an ordinary-looking guy whose online picture is ranked around the median in attractiveness. (In the study, the ratings of attractiveness were done by independent male and female observers hired by the researchers.) And suppose you’d like to be as successful with women as a guy whose picture is ranked in the top tenth. Then you’d need to make $143,000 more than him. If your picture is ranked in the bottom tenth, you’d need to make $186,000 more than him.

Of particular interest:

Here’s an interesting bit from the online dating study:

“For equal success with a white woman, an African-American man needs to earn $154,000 more than a white man. Hispanic men need an additional $77,000, and Asian men need an additional $247,000 in annual income. In contrast to men, women mostly cannot compensate for their ethnicity with a higher income.”

[Aliantha]

All relationships are based on trade offs. For everything that you find annoying or just plain unattractive about your eventual mate, there are other things that you feel are just perfect. I suppose some people might think financial compensation is a plus, but I'd argue that most relationships founded on this premis are doomed to failure because if there's one thing we surely must all acknowledge it's that money doesn't buy happiness or love or anything else like that.

Remember, the data is from a dating site. Not a 'successful relationships' site. Short term you might overlook a few glaring flaws for the sake of living it up, but I'd guess most women or men wouldn't be satisfied with this sort of trade off in the long run.

The article is just idiotic. Every relationship is different, but if you are basing yours on money (not how ambitious or lazy someone is, or is not) you are not in a relationship, you are in a partnership and I pity you.

[Undertoad]

It's idiotic because they studied... "more than 10,000 American customers of HurryDate — a company that gathers a couple of dozen people at a time for a round robin of three-minute speed dates"

Self-selected people who:
- Feel they can determine suitability in three minutes.
- Are more concerned with looks
- Who feel they can, in three mins, win on looks or overcome winning on looks
- Who feel they can assess a possible partner in three mins
- Who are willing to put their income up front

Such obvious selection bias means this tripe is not really suitable for the Times and belongs in Cosmo or Maxim instead.

[Perry Winkle]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

It's idiotic because they studied...

Self-selected people who:
- Feel they can determine suitability in three minutes.
- Are more concerned with looks
- Who feel they can, in three mins, win on looks or overcome winning on looks

Damn, I can't even which cupcake I might want in less than three minutes. That one has a bit more frosting, but it's a bit smaller, but..., but..., but...

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by grant

Damn, I can't even which cupcake I might want in less than three minutes. That one has a bit more frosting, but it's a bit smaller, but..., but..., but...

Eat both.

If you called up Mrs. Dallas right now and asked her how much money I make, I expect she'd not be able to tell you. This is not because I'm keeping secrets from her, but simply because the subject doesn't often come up in household conversation.

The fact that these people are, apparently, discerning income levels in less than three minutes tells you what you need to know about the process.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

If you called up Mrs. Dallas right now and asked her how much money I make, I expect she'd not be able to tell you.

That's hysterical. Just yesterday, my husband called me to ask how much he makes (to put on some mortgage-related form.) I do all our finances and he honestly had no idea.

[glatt]

I don't know how much I make, but I could find out easily enough without calling my wife.

[Clodfobble]

But would she know if you asked?

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

But would she know if you asked?

Probably not, but she knows what my paycheck is and comments on whether I did lots of overtime or none at all that pay period. You know, the stuff that matters on a day to day basis.

[Happy Monkey]

Now's about the time of year that you should have that number readily available.

[lumberjim]

how in the hell do you not know how much you make? unbelievable.

but then, i get calls from people all the time that want to know who financed their car. when i ask where they send their payment....oh, uh...i dunno, my wife/husband handles that.

i bet they know what's on channel 6 at 9 pm on wednedsday, tho.

[Cloud]

well, this is not really news to me. I heard somewhere, and I think it's true from my own observation, that people tend to pair up with others of approximately the same attractiveness level.

Unless large amounts of money are involved, then all bets are off.

i.e., Anna Nichole Smith and Mr. Marshall

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

but then, i get calls from people all the time that want to know who financed their car. when i ask where they send their payment....oh, uh...i dunno, my wife/husband handles that.

When I worked in the computer lab in college, I'd get people who'd come in to print a file who didn't know if they'd done it on a Mac or a PC. (That may not sound to dumb to youngsters thinking of OS X vs. WinXP, but this was 1987 and the differences were much more pronounced to the casual eye.)

[glatt]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

how in the hell do you not know how much you make? unbelievable.

A few times a year you make financial decisions with all the facts in front of you, and then you follow that course and forget about it until the next time.