Is it over?

[anonymousfornow]

Originally Posted by Nightsong

As a man, I cant tell you exactly why. Perhaps because some of us can't control our base nature? That to is actually an excuse. The best answer is because we want to and because women let us get away with it. Hell I have know women that are the same way. I've been the other man a few times.
Dearheart the only real advice I can offer is unfortunatly close to what the others have said. Unless your willing to continue in a relationship where he goes and does whoever he likes while you just turn a blind eye then mayhaps you need a relationship with someone who won't. Or even just some time to be you. It is even harder when the relationship is otherwise a good one. That makes it so much harder to demand what you need out of this.

The unfortunate truth is that this is not apperantly just a thrill fling for him but an on going thing. You keep asking yourself I am sure, "What did I do or not do?" I know this will sound a little callus but it has nothing to do with you. In all the experience I have had like this where the relationship was good other than the cheating it usually involved the other partnet simply not being willing to be satisfied with what they have. Be it just because they were curious or even just because they were selfish and only cared about their own satisfaction.

Often it is not a lack in you, but them. I am myself guilty of this. I am married to a wonderful woman. She is more than willing to do anything I want, both sexually and in terms of our life together. Yet I still find that I let my beastial nature take the front seat.

The difference is that my wife knows about my extra marital games. We have both had lovers since our marriage. The lovers rarely last but she and I do. I have to say though were she to say that it had to be only her I would comply. I love her and it is not worth a quick thrill to lose her.

The real problem for you is not just the outside sex. It is also the lying. You have to wonder if he lied about this, am I missing something else? Ofcourse there is also the fact if he did it before he'll do it again, just as you have learned.

With great tenderness I say, He might be what you want but the relationship is not. You need to be somewhere else that suits you better.

For your sake.

He will keep using you if you let him. There are still decent men out there. Not all of them are old pervs like me. Unfortunaly I will admitt I have known too many like the man you describe and they always piss me off because usually they are hurting very sweet people.

With hopes that you find solace in the well wishes of other:

My the prophets guide you to the right path.

Thank you for taking the time to post this. I believe on some level that humans are not wired to be monogamous, it is a conscience decision. I also believe that controlling our urges is part of what differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

I am not going to change him, but I can change myself. I asked him about the possibility of having an open relationship and seeing how that might work for us. BUT I should be afforded the same right.

You can't keep me and not keep me!

I do not fear being single. I fear this person no longer being part of my life in some capacity.