Corrupted Wish - Page 13

Undertoad · 05-29-2006, 09:06 PM

UT wins $20 on a scratch-off ticket. Unfortunately, as he blows away the little silvery ticket scratch boogers, they fall into his morning coffee... and the heat activates the release of their cancer-causing agents, which take up residence in his pancreas.

I wish xoB would win the lottery!

smoothmoniker · 05-29-2006, 10:27 PM

He does. The draft lottery.

I wish I could sell this old printer instead of dumping it in my neighbor's backyard.

Ibby · 05-29-2006, 11:49 PM

Granted, but the buyer turns out to be a mass murderer, who kills you, then takes the printer 'cause mass murderers need to print stuff sometimes too you know.

I wish I could be a simple kinda' man.

BigV · 05-30-2006, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

I wish I could be a simple kinda' man.

Ta-Da!

Too bad you don't get to go to the ball.

I wish UG didn't bug me so much.

Skunks · 05-30-2006, 12:14 AM

Irresistibly compelled to agree with his every statement, you soon find that arguing in support of him on the Cellar is no longer satiation enough. Taking to the streets with alliterative picket signs to the tune of:

Urbane Guerrilla
=
Ultra Groovy

and

Urbane
Guerrilla
++ is ++
UR
God

you soon find yourself ridiculed & generally unable to hold down a job, destined for the lonely, malnourished life of a local Jesus-man; one who, alas, does not even have the comradarie of a recognizable religion.

I someone would do the dishes.

BigV · 05-30-2006, 12:18 AM

For that laugh, *I* will do your dishes!!!

I pass on the wish, I just wanted to thank Skunks for the grins.

Ibby · 05-30-2006, 05:03 AM

I'll take the wish then:

I wish I could afford the ticket back to Suffragette City.

smoothmoniker · 05-30-2006, 10:09 AM

In a bizzare twist of events, fuel prices plummet to $2 a barrell, and oil companies have to practically pay you to take the stuff. The resulting domino effect drops the bottom out on prices for all other commodiites, and the economic earning power of the average worker skyrockets. With the new increase in overall earning power, world economies stabilize, conflicts cease, a new era of religious tolerance, international cooperation and genuine compassion spreads across the earth. War-making resources are poured into universal healthcare, education, research, the arts. Swords are beat into plowshares. In short, the world becomes a utopian bliss. Then, the aliens attack.

I wish they knew what ADHD was when I was in school. Man, that would have made things so much ... hey look a fire truck!

Elspode · 06-01-2006, 04:27 PM

Sadly, you are unable to concentrate even on the approaching firetruck, and you are squished while bending over to pick up a shiny new dime from the pavement.

I wish that my air conditioning was working in my house right now.

Edit: PS - This needs to be moved to Nothingland.

glatt · 06-01-2006, 04:40 PM

My A/C is out too. I've heard from a good half dozen people with the same problem. What the hell!?

Anyway, your A/C is just fine. Unfortunatley the repairman uses ammonia as the refrigerant, and a leak in a few years realeases a small cloud of poison gas that kills you and your family.

I wish I had a million dollars.

skysidhe · 06-01-2006, 11:34 PM

Granted

A long lost relative bequeaths you a million dollars. There is one stipulation. You must take care of her animals. No problem ,You can deal with an ole cat or dog. When you reach the residence of where the animals are you learn it is in fact an animal shelter. The shelter is in debt for 1,000,001 dollars.

BigV · 07-24-2007, 07:36 PM

And on that note....

Too bad skysidhe didn't follow the rules, and make a wish of her own for the next poster to "grant" [/evil grin].

Fine. I will wish.

I wish that this hysterically funny thread is resurrected for another long funny run.

Uisge Beatha · 07-24-2007, 07:49 PM

No problem. 'Corrupted Wish' arises from the ashes as if it were a phoenix ..... but, wait! It wasn't ashes, it was a tremendous layer of dust, which fills the Cellar air. Poor BigV launches into an interminable sneezing attack, missing all the ensuing fun in the renewed thread.

I wish I had a new car.

bluecuracao · 07-24-2007, 07:59 PM

You've won...A Brand New Car! as a lucky contestant on the Price is Right. Now you have to pay prize tax.

I wish I was wearing my pajamas right now.

DucksNuts · 07-24-2007, 08:05 PM

Wish Granted.....youre wearing pjs

....but they are 4 sizes too small and your place of work is 360 degrees of glass.
You are being gorked at by passersby, who are....well....amazed by your fantastic taste in Peter Alexander jammies, but perturbed by your camel toe

I wish I didnt have a headache.

05-29-2006, 10:27 PM	#182
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	He does. The draft lottery. I wish I could sell this old printer instead of dumping it in my neighbor's backyard. __________________ to live and die in LA

05-29-2006, 11:49 PM	#183
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Granted, but the buyer turns out to be a mass murderer, who kills you, then takes the printer 'cause mass murderers need to print stuff sometimes too you know. I wish I could be a simple kinda' man. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

05-30-2006, 12:18 AM	#186
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	For that laugh, I will do your dishes!!! I pass on the wish, I just wanted to thank Skunks for the grins. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

05-30-2006, 05:03 AM	#187
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	I'll take the wish then: I wish I could afford the ticket back to Suffragette City. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

05-30-2006, 10:09 AM	#188
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	In a bizzare twist of events, fuel prices plummet to $2 a barrell, and oil companies have to practically pay you to take the stuff. The resulting domino effect drops the bottom out on prices for all other commodiites, and the economic earning power of the average worker skyrockets. With the new increase in overall earning power, world economies stabilize, conflicts cease, a new era of religious tolerance, international cooperation and genuine compassion spreads across the earth. War-making resources are poured into universal healthcare, education, research, the arts. Swords are beat into plowshares. In short, the world becomes a utopian bliss. Then, the aliens attack. I wish they knew what ADHD was when I was in school. Man, that would have made things so much ... hey look a fire truck! __________________ to live and die in LA

05-29-2006, 09:06 PM	#181
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	UT wins $20 on a scratch-off ticket. Unfortunately, as he blows away the little silvery ticket scratch boogers, they fall into his morning coffee... and the heat activates the release of their cancer-causing agents, which take up residence in his pancreas. I wish xoB would win the lottery!

05-30-2006, 12:14 AM	#185
Skunks I thought I changed this. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: western nowhere, ny Posts: 412	Irresistibly compelled to agree with his every statement, you soon find that arguing in support of him on the Cellar is no longer satiation enough. Taking to the streets with alliterative picket signs to the tune of: Urbane Guerrilla = Ultra Groovy and Urbane Guerrilla ++ is ++ UR God you soon find yourself ridiculed & generally unable to hold down a job, destined for the lonely, malnourished life of a local Jesus-man; one who, alas, does not even have the comradarie of a recognizable religion. I someone would do the dishes.

06-01-2006, 04:27 PM	#189
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Sadly, you are unable to concentrate even on the approaching firetruck, and you are squished while bending over to pick up a shiny new dime from the pavement. I wish that my air conditioning was working in my house right now. Edit: PS - This needs to be moved to Nothingland. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

06-01-2006, 04:40 PM	#190
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	My A/C is out too. I've heard from a good half dozen people with the same problem. What the hell!? Anyway, your A/C is just fine. Unfortunatley the repairman uses ammonia as the refrigerant, and a leak in a few years realeases a small cloud of poison gas that kills you and your family. I wish I had a million dollars.

06-01-2006, 11:34 PM	#191
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	Granted A long lost relative bequeaths you a million dollars. There is one stipulation. You must take care of her animals. No problem ,You can deal with an ole cat or dog. When you reach the residence of where the animals are you learn it is in fact an animal shelter. The shelter is in debt for 1,000,001 dollars.

07-24-2007, 07:36 PM	#192
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	And on that note.... Too bad skysidhe didn't follow the rules, and make a wish of her own for the next poster to "grant" [/evil grin]. Fine. I will wish. I wish that this hysterically funny thread is resurrected for another long funny run. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-24-2007, 07:49 PM	#193
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	No problem. 'Corrupted Wish' arises from the ashes as if it were a phoenix ..... but, wait! It wasn't ashes, it was a tremendous layer of dust, which fills the Cellar air. Poor BigV launches into an interminable sneezing attack, missing all the ensuing fun in the renewed thread. I wish I had a new car.

07-24-2007, 07:59 PM	#194
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	You've won...A Brand New Car! as a lucky contestant on the Price is Right. Now you have to pay prize tax. I wish I was wearing my pajamas right now.

07-24-2007, 08:05 PM	#195
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Wish Granted.....youre wearing pjs ....but they are 4 sizes too small and your place of work is 360 degrees of glass. You are being gorked at by passersby, who are....well....amazed by your fantastic taste in Peter Alexander jammies, but perturbed by your camel toe I wish I didnt have a headache.

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